Anal Secretaries
Richard B. Long


INTRODUCTION

Every time we got together, Mr. Harvey and me, he would ask me if I
wanted to go over to his house to have our fun. For a while I wouldnt go;
I just couldnt bring myself to do those things with him while his wife was
looking on. Finally he convinced me by showing me some pictures someone had
made. He was lying on a bed and some really gorgeous blonde chick was going
own on him.

Right next to him was his wife-I knew her when I saw her-and she had her
mouth full of cock! After that I believed him when he said that they
werent hung up about doing things like that and so I said that Id go
along with him. We set it up for the next Saturday and that was that.

When I got there, Amy herself met me at the door. She was wearing a
negligee that really showed off her body like the movies do, and she had a
hell of a body to show off, and you could see that she was really turned on
by it all.

Come on in, she told me, holding the door open. Were back in the
bedroom getting ready. Im sure youll have a wonderful time. You mustnt
feel self-conscious or anything. Just relax, make yourself comfortable and
enjoy it.

What can you say to that? I mean, Id come there to ball her husband
and she rolls out the red carpet! Jeez, thats some kind of hospitality! I
headed off in the direction she pointed out and she said shed be along in
a minute. I went on down the hallway and turned into the bedroom shed
mentioned. He was there, lying on top of the covers with his cock spread
out across his tummy like a gigantic snake. I stepped into the room and,
just seeing him like that, it made me queasy all over.

Come on in, he told me. Amy will be back in a few minutes. Why dont
you take your clothes off and join me?

I couldnt have done anything but take off my clothes, once hed asked
me to.

It was like I was some kind of robot, programmed to do everything he
suggested.

If someone had said to me beforehand that Id be undressing in front of
a man when his wife was somewhere in the-house, about to come into the same
room with us, Id have said he was -out of his gourd. But here: I was doing
it! I peeled and.when I was absolutely bare I was already so hot I could
barely stand.

Youre really beautiful! I heard Amy say.

Shed slipped into the room and I hadnt even heard her! Yes, youre
really something!

If that wasnt something, standing there stark naked and both of them 
looking me over! I know, Ive got a pretty good body and my breasts,
especially, are good-they really stand out, you know, and when I get turned
on theyre just as firm as can be-so I knew they werent putting me on,
they really meant what they said.

Go over to him, Amy said to me. Take his cock in your mouth-he likes
to be sucked.

I knew that and I also knew that I liked going down on him. His cock
was so big I could hardly get it in my mouth and I could never get more
than halfway down on it, its so long. But I just love trying. She watched
me eat him for a minute and then she said for me to get over him so he
could lick my pussy too.

I turned around and did it. She moved so that she could see my pussy and
she really, raved about It. I could see out of the corner of my eye that
she was fingering her own twat while she was watching. Shes the sort who
just loves rubbing the lips of her pussy together while shes watching
something really sexy.

He sucked me off and it was just fine! I was so steamed up, of course,
that I popped off nearly as soon as he touched me with his tongue. All it
took was Just a couple of little flicks up and down the slit and I was
gone, just creaming like Id never done it before. That was part of their
plan, I later figured out: to make me have a real quick one so Id get over
being uptight while they were both on the bed with me. It worked. As soon
as Id recovered a little from that come, I felt a lot more at ease with
them, and I didnt feel so ashamed any more.

Theres nothing like a good climax to take away a persons self
consciousness, Amy told me. When youve come like that in front of your
friends, theres no reason to hold back anything any longer!

Youre right, I had to admit. Youve seen me come, and that really
breaks the ice, I guess.

She was still fingering herself, slow and easy, and I could see that
she was really turned on by it all. Her fingers were dripping wet from the
pussy drip shed turned out and the lips- great, thick flaps of meat that
looked like theyd really be sensitive-were just covered with that clear
oil a woman produces when shes really up for screwing or something.

Could I ask you something personal? she said, getting up on her knees,
but still keeping that one hand in place. Ive never felt a cherry. Would
you mind if I felt yours? Please?

If you want to, I said.

He was still under me, of course, and he opened me up with his hands,
pulling the lips of my pussy apart and making it easier for her to run a
finger into the mouth of my cunt. She felt around and -when she was
satisfied she pulled her finger out, and then she licked it off! Man that
was really something, looking at her lick her own finger after shed had
it in my cunt! That really got to me! Then she wanted me to turn around and
get over him so I could rub the head of his dick over my pussy.

You dont have to worry about him coming, she said. But I guess you 
already know that be holds off his come as long as he wants to. Why dont
you try getting over him and running just the head of his cock into the
mouth of your cunt? Not enough to burst that precious cherry, of course,
just enough to give yourself a good feeling? I love seeing his prick nosing
into a sweet, hot pussy!

What a weird idea! I got turned on just hearing her say it. I didnt
want to do it, because I was afraid that, once Id gotten that far, Id
lose control and let myself go down on him too far, and then Id pop my own
cherry! They had an answer for that, though. They got me on my back and be
got over me. He knew he wasnt likely to ram it in thoughtlessly and split
me. Besides, they had me hold my legs way up high, almost up beside my
head, and, once Id gotten into that position I could hardly move at all.
Re got over me and let me tell you, that was  great! Feeling him touch
that big, hard, hot cock to my pussy was just wonderful! And when he opened
my cunt up with it, running it down just far enough to touch the cherry, I
was out of my head, it was so flicking good! I got another come, of course,
and they seemed to enjoy it a lot, being there and helping me get those
climaxes, one after the other. He was getting horny too and he said he was
going to have to let go with a come himself.

Give it to me! she said, scooting around so she could get her head in
between his tummy and mine. Fuck her till youre almost there and then
jack off in my mouth!

Jeez, what a wild pair they were! You know, seeing him at school youd
never think he was such a cunt hound. And Amy, she usually seemed pretty
mild too.

But let me tell you, once they got into the bedroom they were totally
different! Can you imagine, a wife making her husband do a thing like that?
I know some pretty hat chicks at school and some of the guys bad a
reputation for being far out, though I didnt really believe that, but this
pair was just out of sight! Im damned if they didnt do just what she
said-he worked his prick around in the mouth of my cunt till I was almost
coming again and then, when hed gotten it thoroughly soaked in my pussy
drip, he jerked it out and started fucking himself with his fist! Amy
leaned right in there and I guess she got her lips over the head of his
dick. I couldnt see because her head was in the way. I could see, though,
that she was doing it to herself again with her hand.

Finally he let out a groan and started to come.

Suck! Suck that come out of my cock! he told her. Eat my prick! Drain
my balls! Ill fill you full of come!

She didnt say anything, of course. How could she, with a mouthful of
bard, spewing prick? I could tell that she was digging it, though, and her
hand was really working on her pussy. She groaned out loud and I guess she
started to come too while she was eating him. It sure looked and sounded
that way. Damn, that was sexy! Lying there with him still between my legs
and my pussy jumping around till I thought it might fall right off, and her
sucking him like mad while she was fingering her own box! All of it 
together was just too much! Theyd only started, though. Hes a horny
bastard and when he wants to he can go on for hours and hours. Shes the
same way, I think they could play fuck and suck for hours or days at a
time. When she took her mouth off his cock, I could see a little dribble of
his come edge down from the corner of her mouth. Hed really shot a load
into her. His prick was still as hard as a rock and I just knew that they
were going to have some interesting ideas to try with me.

I sure wasnt wrong about that! It seemed as though that first come
just whetted their appetites all the more and they really got started in on
me. Amy called the shots. She seemed to have a thing about wanting to see
him doing all kinds of things to me. She had him lie on his back and then
had me get over him so I could rub the lips of my pussy all over his balls,
up and down the stem of his cock and just everywhere. That was real good
and it made me horny all over again. Then she had me put my legs together
with his prick between them, so it stuck out between the cheeks of my ass,
and that was even better. It seemed to me that this was almost like
fucking, except that he wasnt in me, of course, but I really liked lying
next to him and feeling his body pressed up tight against mine.

Im crazy about this, I said. I just wish there were some way I could
do this and have you in my mouth. Id like to feel you inside me, shooting
come thick and strong!

Theres a way you can have that feeling, she said, giving me a big
grin and patting me on the rump. Its every bit as good as a real fuck in
the cunt and you dont have to worry about getting pregnant or losing your
cherry or anything like that. You can let him fuck you in the ass!

Wow! What a crazy idea! It literally took my breath away, it was so far
out.

As soon as I heard it I knew I had to try it. But taking that cock of
his up my ass? Id never tried putting anything in my rear but I had an
idea it was pretty tight. Amy could see that I was a little worried and she
told me that it was perfectly all right, that lots of women did it that way
all the time and that it would be great.

In fact, Ill show you that it can be done, she said, rolling over
onto her back and spreading her legs out wide. Would you be a dear, Terri,
and put his cock in my cunt? Well get him greased up good and then you can
guide him into my ass. Thatll be a groove. Youll dig it.

Of course I did just what she said. Man that was something else.
Getting hold of his rod and holding it so it went in between the lips of
her pussy! She let out a long, low sigh when he rammed it home, the, sort
of sound that really lets you know shes enjoying it. And then he worked it
back and forth a little to get it real juicy. When he pulled it out I just
had to reach in and taste it. Once Id seen her do it to him that way I
was wild to try it, and so I did. They didnt mind. In fact, they sort of
liked it, even if I did have to put him back into her cunt after Id licked
him clean. That was great, going down on him while he was fresh from her
cunt, hot and wet with that juice she turned out! And the next time he 
pulled it out I was ready to move it down. She swung her legs way up high
till she had her ankles on his shoulder. That brought her butt right up
level with his prick almost and I just aimed that rod straight into her
brownie. Her asshole didnt look any looser than mine but I guess theyd
used it enough to loosen it up because he went into her just like a hot
knife into butter! Once theyd convinced me that they were as-serious
about my getting fucked in the ass I was really ready for it. Amy showed me
how to do it, how to lie in the way that would let him get in easiest and
then she aimed it into him herself. She greased him up with some kind of
goo from a little tube in her bedside table. She -told me that I mustnt
ever let a guy switch his cock from my ass, or anyone elses, to my cunt
because thats a good way to -get an itchy, drippy cunt. And then he just
leaned on me. Man, I was sure hed ruined me when I felt his cock stretch
my asshole and then plow into me. It felt as though hed just ripped me
apart and I let out a howl that told them plenty about how I was feeling.

Just relax, Amy told me. He hasnt hurt you in any way. The
discomfort will soon pass and youll want him to drive that prick all the
way home! Concentrate on relaxing your rear.

My God shes tight! he grunted. But shes taking it. She was born for
this kind of action!

I guess he was right because it wasnt any time till Id forgotten all
about the way my ass, was hurting. All I could think of was that I was 
getting fucked. This wonderful man was giving me all of his lovely,
wonderful prick.

And I wanted every inch of it, all the way inside my body! I locked my
feet together, around his back, and then he started working it into my ass.
God, every stroke was like heaven to me! I could feel every bump, every
wrinkle on his prick and that big, flaring rim around the head drove me
nuts when he worked it in and out. Anal sexuality is a relatively rare form
of sexual activity, a fact which leads to a misunderstanding of it. Alfred
C. Kinsey and his associates, while compiling the research data for their
massive study, Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, found so few cases that
they did not report it as a separate form of sexual outlet. In addition to
the rarity of the act, anal sex is overlaid with legal; moral and religious
taboos inherited from an earlier age, which conspire to keep the subject
hidden behind a curtain of misunderstanding and misapprehension. Anal
sexuality is, of course, a favorite mode of sexual activity among male
homosexuals but relatively few people seem to realize that the anus can
enter into sex play between partners of opposite sexes. Our concern here
will be primarily with heterosexual anal activity, though one case reported
in this book concerns a male homosexual who relies entirely upon anal
intercourse for his pleasure. We believe that a factual reporting of these
cases may help to clear up some of the misunderstanding concerning anal
sexuality. It may come as a surprise to some to learn that the anus can be
utilized satisfactorily in sexual activity. This should not be, since: The
anal area is erotically responsive in some individuals. In others it 
appears to have no particular erotic significance even though it may be
highly sensitive to tactile stimulation. As many as half or more of the
population may find some degree of erotic satisfaction in anal stimulation,
but good incidence data are not available. There are some females and
males who may be as aroused erotically by anal stimulation as they are by
stimulation of the genitalia, or who may be more intensely aroused.
(Kinsey, Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, p. 585.) Given the ingenuity
of human beings and the strength of the average sex drive, we can perhaps
better understand how at least some individuals have come to capitalize on
the sexual potential of the anus.

The anonymous author of The Sensuous Woman, a recent best seller, admits
that anal sex may at first be difficult to imagine, due to the taboos and
superstitions surrounding the act, but she goes on to point out that once
you have let your sphincter muscle relax, you will find yourself enjoying
some quite remarkable sensations and, if you encourage your partner to play
with your clitoris while he is making anal love to you, you are capable of
having quite an orgasm. He may choose to come to climax at this time or
withdraw and finish the lovemaking vaginally. Either way is very nice.
(The Sensuous Woman, p. 130.) She also points out that Anal sex opens up
to you a whole new area of pleasurable sensations to be relished by you and
used to increase your personal sexual satisfaction. (Ibid., p. 131.) Dr.
Eugene Schoenfeld, M. D., author of a syndicated column of medical advice
And known for his readiness to give straightforward answers to unorthodox
questions, noted a wide interest among his readers in anal sexuality. The
nature of Dr. Schoenfelds column is such that it would probably cater to
the younger generation -he writes under the pen name of Dr. Hip
Pocrates-and this interest may indicate that the young are more curious
about anal sex than was their parents generation. This is to be expected.
If anal sexuality is tabooed by society, and if the young feel a strong
need to flaunt societys rules, the taboo against sodomy would be a likely
candidate for violation. In answering several questions about the
feasibility and safety of anal sexual intercourse, he came to the cautious
and tentative conclusion that the practice seemed medically permissible if
performed in moderation. (Schoenfeld, Dear Dr. Hip Pocrates, pp. 6-8.)
There is a widely held fear that indulgence in anal sexual intercourse will
result in physical damage to the individual being sodomized. Hemorrhoids,
for example, are commonly held to be a direct consequence of this act,
though there is not enough medical evidence to support such a claim. Many
individuals suffering from hemorrhoids have never experienced any kind of
anal sex play and many practicing male homosexuals, devoted to anal sex,
exhibit no hemorrhoids.

A person with an exceptionally large penis could conceivably wreak some
physical damage upon his partner, but this is not likely. More often, the
damage would be preceded by enough pain that the subject would call a halt
to the proceedings rather than go on. Of course, these observations do not
apply to the introduction of foreign, non-human objects in the anal 
opening. The author of a tremendously successful guide to sexual knowledge
reports that some of the more routine items that find their way into the
gastrointestinal systems of homosexuals via the exit are pens, pencils,
lipsticks, combs, pop bottles, ladies electric shavers, and enough other
items to stock a small department store. (David Reuben, M. D., Everything
You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, p. 149.) We shall not be concerned
here with the moral or religious arguments against anal sexual intercourse.
Those arguments are real and convincing to many people, empty and false to
others, and it seems profitless to try reconciling the varying extremes of
opinion. Our purpose is, first, to provide information about what anal
sexuality is and, second, to explain its physical and psychological appeal
insofar as this is possible. Moral judgments will be left to the reader.

It is not necessarily a sign of a depraved, warped mentality to respond
positively to stimulation of the anal area. The human nervous system is
constructed in such a way that there is a plentiful supply of nerve endings
in the anal region, especially on its surface. Thus the anus and the area
immediately around it can easily be stimulated through touch. The anal
sphincter muscles, which are designed primarily to keep the anal tract
closed tight, can react to stimulation in a way that is erotically arousing
to many people. Thus, a response to a partners loving touch in the anal
region may simply be recognition of the physical facts of life: the touch
is arousing and it does produce a positive erotic reaction.

In some people, to be sure, the taboos against any kind of anal sexual
activity are sufficiently strong that these stimuli result in a negative
reaction. In these cases, it seems clear the individual is applying a
learned form of behavior to his physical reactions and is negatively
stimulated. The sensations which arouse excitement and a desire to continue
the stimulation can produce either a violent revulsion or a strong
inclination to repeat the Stimulus, depending upon the training of the
individual concerned.

To make the situation even more complex, we must also recognize that in
many individuals the forbidden acts are even more arousing and exciting
than those which are sanctioned by society. Moralists may be depressed by
the fact that they can sometimes respond so energetically to violations of
their own moral code, but the fact remains: there is sometimes more real
excitement in violating social codes than in upholding and observing them.

As the foregoing discussion suggests, anal sex can provide real physical
stimulation and also a form of psychological stimulation. These stimuli are
not mutually exclusive, of course. They can easily be combined in the same
individual. Anal sexuality, to use modern vernacular, has a lot going for
it.

This being the case, we ought not to be surprised to find that a
considerable number of people make use of the arousal potential of this
form of sexual activity. While that number might not bulk especially large
in the total population of the United States, even a minuscule percentage
can equal a sizable body of people. Devotion to the anus, as a mode of 
achieving sexual satisfaction, is by no means a monopoly of the male
homosexual, as some would have us believe.

Occasionally one finds women who greatly prefer anal intercourse to any
other kind of sex play. Such was the case with Linda G-, who wrote, Anal
intercourse is, for me, a far more satisfactory means of obtaining multiple
orgasms than vaginal intercourse and I have been enjoying the former act
for nearly fifteen years, averaging no less than three times weekly. There
have been no signs of hemorrhoids, no irregularity, and since the first few
times I experienced no pain. There is considerable pleasure for me during
the act, and after the emission of semen I enjoy a five or ten minute
period of utter serenity. (Schoenfeld, Dear Dr. Hip Pocrates,) In
exceptional cases, anal intercourse may be combined with more orthodox
forms of sexual activity, as the following letter indicates: Recently my
husband and I have submitted to double-screwing, i.e., one penis in my
vagina and a second in my rectum simultaneously. It isnt easy to do, but
when it is I am transported into another world! For me to reach climax half
a dozen times is not unusual and each orgasm is more gratifying than the
one preceding it. (Quoted in ibid., pp. 7-8.) In these cases, one feels
sure, at least part of the pleasure reported stems from the fact that the
subject is participating in a forbidden act, violating a deeply held
social taboo. There are very few women in whom the vagina and the adjacent
organs, together with the nerve endings which provide the physical
stimulation needed for sexual arousal, are atrophied or dysfunctional. That
is, there is seldom any clear physiological reason why the anus should be
preferred to the vagina as a receptacle for the penis. The preference is
far more likely to be due to psychological peculiarities of the particular
individual.

In virtually every case history that we can find, the subject reports
that first attempts at performing anal sexual intercourse were accompanied
with at least a moderate amount of pain. Whether the individual was male or
female, they found that a penis could not be inserted into the rectum with
ease. The female subjects investigated were almost unanimous in agreeing
that the first attempts at sodomy were more painful than the first attempts
at performing vaginal intercourse. Many of the women agreed that practice
worked wonders in easing the peniss entrance but this is not the point we
wish to make. The reader should realize that pain can sometimes be a
stimulant and, in the case of some individuals, a powerful spur toward more
complete sexual arousal.

Masochism, the ability to become sexually aroused through experiencing
pain, would appear to explain the fascination anal sexual intercourse has
for certain women. Some women, remarks a widely respected authority in
the field, enjoy being subjected to sodomrntic practices because of their
strong masochistic component. (Caprio, Variations in Sexual Behavior, p.
268.) We can hardly end this discussion of anal sexuality without
commenting on the legal aspects of the act. It should be clearly understood
by every reader that, in most states, anal sexual intercourse is illegal. 
We can do no better, when considering this question, than to quote from a
widely respected authority on sexual behavior: In most states the sodomy
acts are so worded that they would apply to mouth-genital contacts and to
anal coitus between married persons, as well as to both heterosexual and
homosexual relations outside marriage. Few people are aware that the sodomy
acts can be extended to married partners. The penalties for such acts may
in some jurisdictions be exceeded only by the penalties for murder,
kidnapping and rape. There are court statements on the applicability of
these sodomy statutes, and one case even goes so far as to uphold the
conviction of a man for soliciting his wife to commit sodomy. We have
cases of persons who were convicted because one of the spouses objected, or
because some other person became aware that oral or anal play had been
included in the marital activities. There are, however, few prosecutions
under these laws, but as long as they remain on the books, they are subject
to capricious enforcement and become tools for blackmailers. (Kinsey,
Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, p. 370.) It should be amply clear that
while there may be no serious medical or physiological objections to anal
sexual intercourse, the law is of another mind. Admittedly the chances of
detection are slim, but the reader must realize that such acts are illegal.

Laws have never been able to mold human behavior, especially not when
there are strong inducements for at least some of the citizenry to act
contrary to those laws. Our investigation of the physical and psychological
aspects of anal sexuality indicates that there are weighty reasons why the
more experimental minded or the more rebellious segments of our population
might choose to investigate the anus as a source of sexual pleasure and,
having done so, might continue to utilize that part of the human body.

This being the case, we can confidently predict that anal sexuality is
here to stay. Moralists may fulminate against the act but it will continue
to be performed because of the attractions it holds. We believe, therefore,
that the subject deserves investigating and that the public deserves as
complete and scientific a report on that investigation as we can provide.
This is the purpose for the present book. We have not concerned ourselves
with arguing for or against anal sexuality. Rather, we have attempted to
learn what it is, what its dimensions are and what consequences may attend
the act.


Chapter One Linda G.

I guess Im one of those girls that got started on finger fucking and
cocksucking and managed to have so much fun out of it that just plain
fucking never seemed extra-special. When I first started dating boys, I
remember, I was really worried about getting pregnant. I suppose thats
because of Mom-she was always telling me when a girl got pregnant and
warning me to be careful when I was out with a guy. The result was, I could
often get really turned on, but whenever a guy started making noises like
hed like to get his cock up my cunt, I just turned off right there! The
guy I dated all through high school, I think he helped get me into this
condition. Sure, hed have liked to have had a nice fuck with me, but would
you believe that we dated for almost two years before we ever did it?
Thats a fact, baby! It was twenty-two months to the day after our first
date when I finally broke down and let him get his cock into my cunt. And
even then I made damned sure that he was wearing a rubber and that Id
squirted half a tube of vaginal foam up my hole before he did it. I wasnt
one to take any chances on getting myself knocked up.

Jimmy, the guy I dated so long, was about as horny as they come but he
didnt mind if I only jerked him off. He was a little bit more experienced
than I was and he already knew about eating pussy. That gave me the idea
about going down on him, see, and after I found out how nice it was to have
a guys prick in your mouth and how you could tease him along until his
balls foamed over and he shot out about a gallon Of that hot, salty cream,
I was just about as wild about eating dick as I was of jerking a guy off.

See, Ive always been just a pig about guys and their come. Somehow,
the sight of a big, hard, fat cock standing tall and shooting that
wonderful cream out into the air, thats always really turned me on more
than anything else, I guess. Theres something about the sight of it,
knowing that Im the one who got this guy all worked up and that I also
brought him off so that he was squirting jism all over the place, that
really makes me take off. Lots of times Ive felt my pussy just boil over
with my own come and I wouldnt even be touching it and the guy wouldnt be
feeling it either. I guess thats what you call a sympathetic reaction,
right? Its a good thing I found out about how nice it is -to give a guy a
hand job and how they can do the same back to me, because if I hadnt, I
know for a fact that Id have just withered up and died long ago. Why, even
on the very first date I ever had my panties were all soaked, just from
being close to the guy, and we werent even kissing or trying to neck it
up, even! And when I really started that stuff, I just about died! Lord,
the first time a guy stood next to me and kissed me, so I could feel his
legs pressing against mine and his chest squashing my titties down a
little, I got so worked up that I could barely stand on my own legs! The
first guy that ever tried anything with me was just wonderful. When he
started brushing the tips of his fingers over my thighs I nearly fainted
and of course I really let go when he started fingering my pussy through my
panties.

When I started dating Jimmy I really started finding out about guys. I
told him right off that I was scared to death of getting pregnant and he
said it was all right, if Id just do him with my hand. He showed me how to
jack a guy off, doing it real slow and easy till all of a sudden he just
cant hold it back any more, and then ending up with some real fast strokes
of your fist. Man, the first time I ever saw him shoot off I was so proud
of myself! And he was real good with his hands too. He could nearly always 
make me come within five minutes after wed start necking and usually hed
keep after me till Id come two or three times in his hand.

Jimmy was the one who got me interested in that French stuff too. We
went off on a picnic one Saturday afternoon and he had a lot of those
pictures showing men and women doing things to each other. I was really
shook up the first time I saw a shot of a guy licking a cunt. The idea of
something like that was almost too much for me to handle. But Jimmy put his
mouth on mine, after hed told me that this was how hed like to lick my
snatch, and when I felt his tongue playing over my lips and digging into my
mouth I just had to have his face between my legs.

So I laid back on the blanket, after Id stripped down to the skin, and
he really did it to me. Wow! Id had some comes before, I thought, but once
he got his mouth right over the meat of my pussy I just went wild with it.
He ate my cunt till I thought sure it was going to drop off and then he
moved up and started kissing my mouth. Mmm, that was swell too, tasting my
cunt on his lips and sucking my come off his tongue! It just made me so hot
I could hardly stand it so I grabbed Jimmys cock and started pumping.

He was stripped too and, before I knew what I was doing, I had him
straddling me and I was mouthing the tip of his cock. He was kneeling right
over my breasts and I was rubbing my nipples into his balls while I sucked,
which made it all the nicer. And then he started to come! At first I didnt
want it in my mouth and I pulled away. The first jets splashed on my cheek
and as soon as I felt that warm, slick stuff on my face I knew I had to
have it in my mouth. So I stuffed his big cock back between my lips and
started sucking the come out of him. Man, was that ever some delicious brew
he was shooting out! I know of some girls who claim that a mans come is
the awfullest stuff in the world but, believe me, back when I was seventeen
or eighteen and going with Jimmy or a couple of the guys I dated after he
and I broke up, I thought that come was just the best stuff in the world! I
think I could have lived on the stuff, almost.

Well, it wasnt long till Jimmy and I were really French artists. He
liked to tease me along, to play with my pussy till I was almost ready to
come and then ease off, so Id just simmer for a while. There were times
when I wanted to come so bad Id almost cry. Hell, Id beg and plead with
him to stick his tongue up my cunt and finish me off but -lie was too smart
for that. Hed just lay back and there wasnt a thing I could do to force
him into finishing me.

But then I got smart and started paying attention to what I was doing.
I learned how to play with his cock and balls and to get him so blasted hot
his nuts would almost fall off, he wanted it so bad, and once Id given him
a good case of the ache, he learned not to leave me dangling so long. But
Ill say this for putting it off and stretching it out till you think
youre going to die, you want to come so bad that when you finally do make
it, you really come! Once Jimmy and I broke up, I had it a little more
difficult. Hed fucked me a few times, mostly on real special occasions,
but 1 just never could forget about getting pregnant. That always stayed in
the back of my mind, even when my cunt pumped away like a fire hose, and I
guess thats the main reason I never came quite as well that way. Most of
the guys, though, they thought it was kid stuff to "get by with hand jobs
and several of them were really down on blow jobs and eating pussy. I
remember this one guy he nearly kicked me out of the car when I started
licking his cock.

You cheap little bitch! he yelled out, jerking his prick away and
scooting away from me till youd have thought I was something drug in from
the garbage heap. If Id known you were a cocksucker, Id never have taken
you out!

But by that time I was really hooked on the French way and I just
figured that, if he couldnt dig it, too bad for him. There were lots of
guys around who didnt mind a bit having their dicks sucked, and a fair
number of them were really ready to chew on a girls pussy too. So I was
getting mine pretty regular, even if it wasnt in quite the same way as
most of the other girls.

I guess I was about twenty when I met Paul. He was real nice, just the
coolest guy youd ever want to see. And did be ever love tonguing me! Man,
I could lay over him for an hour or two, just rubbing my cunt into his
mouth and going down on that big fat cock of his! He wasnt nearly as quick
to come as a lot of guys Ive known, and I could spend a long time working
the skin back and forth over the head of his dick, running my tongue around
that groove where the head meets the shaft, and licking on his balls. But
when he finally let go, man! It was like Old Faithful up at Yellowstone.
The way he could spurt out that love juice! We were spending one Saturday
afternoon in his apartment, loving it up like it was going out of style,
when he tried this new thing on*me. I dont know why I did it, but I was
stretched out over him, just having myself a ball with his cock, when all
of a sudden I got this idea to jab my finger into his ass. He bad a real
cute little asshole, with a fringe of black fur around it, and I shoved in
my middle finger up to about the second knuckle. Id never done anything
like that to a guy before, not in my whole life, and I still dont know why
I did it that afternoon.

Wow! He let out a grunt like hed been kicked in the gut and then he
started to let the cream fly! Id already sucked him off once that
afternoon and I wasnt expecting another flood, at least not that soon. But
Im telling you, that man just about drowned me in come! Oh, did he ever
shoot it out! And as soon as hed finished coming, damned if he didnt do
it to me! Yeah, right up my fanny went his finger and then. I knew what Id
done to him.

Id had myself some fine old times with guys before but this one-with
Paul digging his tongue about six inches deep in my cunt and jabbing that
finger up my ass-it just wiped me out completely. I felt as though I was
melting and running down into his mouth. The come was so hard, and it just
went on forever, it seemed, until I couldnt even move any more. I gave a
little groan and rolled off him. Man, I was sucked and fingered right into 
a daze! From that day to this, all Ive got to do is just think about a
finger dipping into my asshole and Im hot. I mean, really hot, like I was
about to let go and have a real, gut-shaking come. Lots of times Ive
brought myself off just by sitting in a chair with my legs crossed and
doing nothing more than thinking about a finger working around in my butt.
Id never been able to do it before, just by crossing my legs and squeezing
them together on my pussy, but now that I had that finger to think about,
and could remember how delicious it had been when Paul ran that finger in
me, I could squeeze a come out of my pussy almost any time.

At first I was a little shy and bashful about talking to Paul about
this. I guess I had my share of hang-ups about the asshole but damn it, I
just loved it so much that I had to say something! It turned out that hed
never been punctured there either, so I guess you could say we took each
others cherry in a way. He was just like me-the feeling of a finger
sliding in that little brownie hole was the greatest thing ever and be was
really up for me doing it to him all the time while we were going down on
each other.

I was taking the Pill by this time and letting Paul give me a fuck in
the cunt every now and then, though I. still didnt like that as much as I
liked the hand jobs and the sucking he could give me. But we tried
fingering each other as we flicked and that was pretty good too, even if we
did have to get in a real awkward position to be able to reach down for
each other. I think thats the main reason why I didnt like butt-fingering
quite as well while we were screwing.

It was a lot easier for me to finger myself while Paul shoved the cock
to me.

I did that a lot. My, its really something to reach into your own
asshole and feel a mans dick working back and forth in your own cunt!
Theyre real close together, you know, and you can feel the man almost as
if your finger was right on his cock. Paul really dug that. Lots of times
hed put his cock in just far enough for me to press through the skin from
the asshole and rub the head of his dick. He said it was sort of like being
flicked, sucked, and jacked off all at the same time! I know one thing-it
sure brought the come to boiling out of his nuts and squirting into my
cunt! I was really into doing it to myself at about that time too. It
seemed that when I was about eighteen, and from then till I was
twenty-three or so, I just couldnt get enough sex. Id get up in the
morning and my thighs would be all wet with pussy drippings and Id be so
fucking hot I could hardly go to the bathroom. Why, Id be sitting on the
john for my morning pee and Id want it so bad I wouldnt even wait till
Id stopped peeing before Id start rubbing my clit. Lots of times Id get
piss on my fingers, I was that eager to get to working on myself. It never
seemed to worry me too much, pissing and finger-diddling at the same time.
As soon as Id get my bladder drained, wham!

In would go a finger or two and Id stand up, just as if I had a man
next to me, and Id really ball myself. I love to do it standing up. It 
makes the come so much stronger and it really knocks me out to do it that
way.

It wasnt too long, you can bet, before I was fingering both holes at
the same time. One band in front, digging into my snatch, and the other
around behind me gouging my fanny. I was grinding back and forth just like
a go-go dancer! Man that was really some fun!

"I also loved watching myself do it. Id straddle this little bench
before my dresser, with a mirror placed on the bench so I could look down
and see how it looked. I could see everything just perfect and it really
turned me on, watching my fingers work in and out of my pussy. Even better,
though, was watching my finger screwing my asshole. Id stand there for as
long as I could, just working the finger all around, in and out, and lots
of times Id fuck first one hole and then the other. I got sort of an extra
kick out of taking my finger out of my ass and then running it up my cunt.
I dont know why that jolted me so much more but it always made me tingle
all over.

I was just twenty-one when I noticed one day that I had something wrong
with my cunt. Man, it itched and burned something fierce and I could tell
that my pussy drippings didnt have that sweet, musky smell or taste they
once had. The guy I was dating at the time, he started complaining about
the way I tasted-he was pretty big on pussy eating too-and  I decided that
Id have to do something. Hell, I didnt know but what Id picked up a dose
of clap or syph or something. I guess I didnt know anything about anything
in those days.

So I went to see this doctor that some of the girls at the office had
talked about. She was a lady doctor, which made it easier to talk about
something being wrong with my cunt. As soon as I told her what was wrong
she caught on right away. She had me strip and get up on the examining
table and she ran a little thing inside my cunt and sent it off to be
tested.

Youd do well to be a little more careful in the future, she told me
after shed made the test. One of those holes is for pleasure and the
other is for nature. You mustnt use them both at the same time. Keep their
functions separate.

What on earth do you mean? I asked, trying to play dumb.

I was still a little hung up about my loving to get it in the ass so
well and I just couldnt come right out and tell her that I knew very well
that both of those holes were for pleasure. She didnt say anything to
that. She just went over to a little cabinet and got out one of those
rubber gloves they wear to poke around inside you. She slipped it on and,
while I was still stretched out on that table with my feet propped up in
those little steel stirrups they have, she shot that greasy finger right up
my asshole! Man, I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt that! I
couldnt have hidden my reaction for anything in the world and she saw
right off that I was really digging that finger of hers.

Maybe she was a little queer, I dont know. Anyway, she finished what 
shed started. Yeah, she finger fucked my asshole till I was having a real
nice come.

Man, was that ever something, having a woman do it to me! I didnt know
whether to lay back and enjoy it or leap up from that table and get the
hell home-but once shed gotten a good hold on me and was flicking my ditty
with her thumb while she was digging into my rear with her finger, I
couldnt have moved if the building had been on five! She brought me off
and I just laid there and came like a baby. After it was all over she
pulled her hand out and threw the glove away. She sat down at her place and
started telling me about what I had.

It turned out that there wasnt anything wrong with liking to get a
little action in your ass. She told me that lots of people do this and the
only reason were so hung up about it is that weve always been told not to
do it. I felt a lot better about that, believe me. And she told me to be
real careful and not to let a guy do it to me in the ass first and then
switch over to my cunt.

Thats how I got that itch and burning in my cunt, switching from one to
the other without washing first.

She was real nice, that doctor, and I told her all about the way Id
been doing with guys. She seemed to understand all about it and she didnt
even blink when I told her Id a lot rather suck a guy off than let him
shoot off in my cunt. She had this kind of atmosphere about her that I
didnt mind a bit, telling her all about the things Id been doing with
guys or doing to myself, and, she said that I wasnt a weirdo at all. I
just had different ideas about what was fun and what wasnt. She gave me a
prescription for some stuff to take and told me to check back with her in,
a couple of weeks. I did just what she told me and inside of two weeks my
cunt was just as sweet and juicy as it had ever been. I was never so
grateful for anything in my whole life as I was to get rid of that awful
burning, stinking in my cunt! I think shed have finger fucked me again,
that time when I went back to see her. Maybe she was a little on the queer
side. I dont know. But she didnt do it to me and I think Im just as glad
about that. It was nice when she made me come but I believe that Id rather
do it with guys. After all, there isnt a girl in the world that can shoot
out thick, juicy, creamy come like a man! I met up with Paul right after
Id finished the treatment shed ordered for me. The guy Id been going
with, I blamed him for getting me all screwed up inside, had broke up with
me during those treatments. Paul was hip to this sort of thing, the stuff
Id gone to see the doctor about. Hed been married once already and his
wife had gotten it too. See, he was another one of those guys that would as
soon suck or finger a woman as give her a tuck in the cunt. I guess hed
switched his finger from her asshole to her cunt once too often.

Anyway, he was real careful never to do it to me.

Sure, Id like to, he told me once when we were balling each other,
because its really a drag getting up to wash off my finger after Ive had
it up your rump. But what the hell, I sure dont want to spoil this pussy 
for eating purposes!

So he never got me infected again, which was something I really
appreciated.

He was really high on my snatch for eating purposes. He always said I
had the sweetest, juiciest box hed ever put a tongue to. He might be right
about that.

He took me to a real swinging party one flight, where there were about
five girls and seven or eight guys, and I really did my thing. I ate every
one of those men, usually right after hed given another one of the girls a
good fucking, and I could taste their cunt on every cock I ate. I didnt
taste a one that had that sweet, ripe, musky taste that Ive got and Paul,
he said the same thing. He ate most of them that night, or at least gave
their pussies a good tonguing, so 1 guess he knew what he was talking
about.

I never was much for that wild swinging type of party though. Except
for that one party, I never was at a place where other people were going at
it and I dont think I miss it much. When I get turned on, see, all I want
to do is get with a man and let it happen. I dont care much about lying
around and watching other girls get it.

Linda G-, the author of the preceding case history, is a secretary for a
small business firm in one of our larger cities. She has never married and
shrugs off questions about her marriage plans by admitting that she seems
to tire of men too quickly to make permanent plans. As her grammar
indicates, she is poorly educated, though her work record shows that she is
capable and efficient at performing the limited duties required of her. She
took a secretarial course in high school and, upon being graduated, went to
work.

The illness which necessitated the visit to the doctor, about which she
spoke at some length, was vaginitis. Specifically, she appears to have
contracted a vaginal trichomonal infection. Vaginitis caused by
trichomonas, writes the author of a popular health column found in many
underground newspapers, is characterized by itching and a foul smelling
yellow-green discharge. In the male there are usually no symptoms though
there may be a thin discharge and some burning or itching on urination.
(Eugene Schoenfeld, M.D., Dear Dr. Hip, p. 51.) The condition is caused by
trichomonas vaginalis, a single-celled organism which is readily
identified under a microscope and which is identical in appearance to an
organism more commonly found in the digestive tract. (Ibid.) The theory,
borne out all too frequently in practice, is that the organism is
transferred from the anus to the vagina by careless lovemaking.

Curiously the trichomonad gives no difficulty as long as it is confined
to the anal tract. Only when it is transferred to the vagina, does it begin
creating problems.

Another common vaginal infection, perhaps even more often found, is the
yeast infection. As the yeast organism grows, it creates a condition with
symptoms similar to those found in trichomoniasis and gonorrhea. Ironically
enough, broad spectrum antibiotics-normally so helpful in many cases-have
the effect of killing off vaginal bacteria which keep down the yeast
organisms. Thus, in treating one illness, we often open the door to
another.

It is quite clear from Lindas account that she willingly engaged in
anal sexual relations. She was not forced into it by men who sought to work
out hidden homosexual fantasies upon her. Not is there any evidence that
she associated anal sexuality with unclean things and thereby derived
extra pleasure from degrading herself in that manner. She displayed no
signs of masochism, either overt or latent. Thus we can probably rule out
two of the more common explanations of anal sexuality in human beings. We
believe that another approach will be more fruitful.

Let us first note Lindas extreme fear of pregnancy. She told us that
even after she had begun taking oral contraceptives, she still had a deep
fear of conceiving and had privately admitted to us that she had more than
once considered having herself sterilized. There is also the matter of her
extreme sensitivity to erotic stimulation. Her description of her first
encounters with boys is graphic evidence of her ability to become aroused
by even the slightest contact with the opposite sex.

Linda was thus superbly equipped with the sensory perceptions needed to
gain a great deal of pleasure from sexual relations. She was also, however,
gripped by a deep and unreasonable fear of the most obvious consequence of
the sexual act, pregnancy. Her readiness to engage in masturbation with her
boyfriends can thus be more easily understood. It afforded her an easy
out and gave her an acceptable substitute for sexual intercourse. Her
interest in the opposite sex extended to the phallus and she quickly became
adept in fondling that organ, thereby providing her partners with
considerable sexual pleasure.

It is not clear how Linda came to associate the anus with sexuality. Her
account, as we have seen, had her acting upon a sudden whim and inserting a
finger into the anus of the man whom she was fellating. Try as she might,
she could not recall ever having given any special thought to the anus
before that experience. Psychiatrists are rightly skeptical of the sudden,
whimsical action and rightly suspect that startling variations from
habitual behavior-such as Linda displayed in inserting her finger into her
partners rectum-are almost always the result of a long, if unconscious,
period of preparation. It is thus probable that she was unconsciously
forming an interest in the anus long before that act and that she had in
fact come to associate it with sexual response.

This kind of behavior is not unknown to students of human sexuality.
Long ago, Havelock Ellis remarked that it would thus seem probable that in
some persons  there is a tendency for the centers of sexual excitation to
be shifted posteriorly, such persons possessing unusually developed
buttocks and an anus with greater sexual sensibility than the normal sexual
centers. Such a state of things must be regarded as constituting a
predisposition only; it is not necessarily final or beyond the reach of 
training. But it is obvious that it constitutes a favorable and even
natural basis for various sexual deviations. (Studies in the Psychology of
Sex, vol. II, Part 2, p. 198.) We might also consider the fact of Lindas
relative lack of interest in vaginal intercourse. Even at the time of her
interview, she stated a strong preference for the other types of sexual
activity mentioned in the foregoing portion of her case history. We believe
that her preferences can be accounted for by referring to her conditioning.
The sex play to which she was introduced by her first boyfriends, together
with her aversion to pregnancy-and Consequently to intercourse-had the
effect of training her to find pleasure in sexual outlets other than
vaginal intercourse. Learning and conditioning in connection with human
sexual behavior involve the same sorts of processes as learning and
conditioning in other types of behavior. But man, because of his highly
developed forebrain, may be more condition able than any of the other
mammals.

The variations which exist in adult sexual behavior probably depend more
upon conditioning than upon variations in the gross anatomy or physiology
of the sexual mechanisms. (Alfred C. Kinsey et at, Sexual Behavior in the
Human Female, p. 644.) I guess it was about two years ago that I started
working at the place where I work now.

There was another woman there then and I was supposed to sort of help
her out around the place, look after the letters and pour the bosss
coffee. The boss is real nice. Hank-thats his name, everybody there first
names everybody else-is about six feet tall and pretty well built,
considering that hes a little over forty. Jean, the woman I was supposed
to be helping, was getting it pretty regular from him, as I figured out in
about a week after starting to work there.

I didnt begrudge it to her, though I was always a little uncomfortable
about balling guys who -worked at the same place I did. It just makes
things a little more complicated you know? But what the hell, Id already
figured out that Hanks -wife -was a total bitch. Shed call him at the
office all -the time and she4 be drunk by noon. I still remember the way
she bitched and whined at us.

She must have treated him worse. Anyway, he and Jean had a thing going.
They used to take off in the afternoons sometimes. I guess they went off to
a motel someplace and really sacked out. When theyd get back Jean would
have this really satisfied look on her face and Hank, he just looked
totally beat. I always figured that Jean was a real hot ass and liked her
dick real regular.

She wasnt married but from what I saw, she might just as well as have
been married to Hank, they screwed that much.

But then they had a big blowup about a year after I started working
there. I never did know what it was that set them off but, whatever it was,
it was a dilly of a fight. Jean lasted about two days after that and let me
tell you, she was just impossible to work with. Finally, one morning when
Hank asked her about some contracts shed  filed away, she blew up and 
told him to shove it.

She flew out of the office and none of us ever saw her again. I dont
know if Hank missed her or not. It was hard to tell what he was thinking.

For about two weeks around that office things were a little tense. I
didnt know what to say, so I just did my work and kept my mouth shut. Jean
had been really inefficient, so I managed to do my work and hers too,
without too much trouble. Hank didnt have much to say at first but then he
started loosening up and pretty soon it seemed as though Jean had never
been there at all. I dont know when he first got interested in me-maybe
hed been interested all along.

Hell, it might even be that thats what he had that argument with Jean
about.

Sure, I thought about what it would be like, balling him. I always
think that about almost any guy. But I hadnt really figured on anything
until one afternoon I was bending over my desk doing something and he had
to squeeze by me to get at the filing cabinet in the corner. Man, he had a
stiff raised up that you could have used to breed elephants  with! I
nearly jumped out of my skin when he squeezed by me and I felt that big,
hard dong of his brush my ass!

I knew right away what it was and since I hadnt had a guy in three or
four days-it was because I was having my period-I was naturally pretty
horny.

Jesus, I never felt anything like that, I said, blurting it right out.
You must be in bad shape.

I guess maybe I was asking for it, now that I look back on it, but
honest, -the words just slipped out. I wasnt trying -to set him up or
anything like that. But it was real obvious that I knew what he had there
and that I wasnt any stranger to pricks. He came over to me and we started
kissing with him rubbing that mammoth thing  into my belly, scraping it
across my thighs and all like that. The next thing I knew I was ripping
open his fly and dragging that monster out into the open.

Lets go into my office, he said. Somebody might come in here and we
dont want that.

I went in with him and be locked the door behind us, I was already so
blasted hot I was about to cream my panties. -Ill bet that Tampax I had up
my cunt was scorched almost! I never even gave a thought to my period, you
see. All I could think of was that prong of his and how I wanted to love it
up good. He had a little sofa in his office and I pushed him down on it so
I could get over him and start loving that  big thing good. Lord, he was
as hot as flame and as hard as iron! I rolled the skin down off the head 
of his dick and the knob was like a great big cooked beet,  all hot and
red and already juicy, he was so hot. Yeah, there was a little thin stream
of come leaking out the peehole so I just naturally had to lap it up, it
looked so good.

Hey, I didnt know you liked to suck dick, he told me. You do that as
if you really loved it!

I do love it, I told him. The way a nice, big cock feels against my
tongue, I just cant help loving it.

Thats real good, he said, but Im dying to tuck you. I want to get
my cock in you up to the balls and fill you full of come!

Thats when I realized that I couldnt do it because I was still having
my period. I knew he didnt have a rubber and  I certainly wasnt going to
let him go into me without anything to protect me-that would have been just
like begging for trouble. So I told him that I wasnt able to tuck because
of the period. I was figuring on giving him a blow job, like I usually did
for guys when I was at that time of the month. I figured he sure wouldnt
want to finger fuck me, what with the period and all that, but I didnt
mind. Just being able to feel him come and to taste his jism squirting into
my mouth would have been enough for me. But, for what reason Ill never
know, I said something else.

If you want to tuck, I said, why dont you tuck me in the ass? Id
love to do it that way with you and it would be just as good, I bet.

Now why would I say a thing like that? Id never -had a cock in my ass
before.

Id never had anything but a guys finger or maybe his tongue and here I
was asking Hank if hed tuck me back there! And him with a cock that many a
girl couldnt -even have gotten into her cunt! Im sure that if Id stopped
to think about it, Id have never suggested that he do it to me that way,
because of the size of his cock. I mean, he was really hung! About nine
inches long, I guess, and almost as big around as a beer bottle, thats how
big that tool of his was! Ive never tucked, a woman in the ass, he told
me, but Id sure like to try it with you!

Well, Ive never been fucked there either, I answered, but Ive had
some guys put their fingers in my butt and I know that I can come that
way. "You dont think Ill be too big for you?

I dont know, but Ive got to find out, I said, as I lifted up my
dress and pulled it over my head.

I stripped right there and he jumped up so he could start getting his
clothes off too. I was so hot for him I couldnt help but finger my ditty a
little while I was waiting for him to strip down, and he seemed to like the
idea of watching me do it to myself. I found out later that hed never seen
a girl do it to her-self and I, well, Ive got to admit that I took a lot
of pleasure in showing him how I did it. But thats another story. I wont
go into that now.

I started to get cold feet a little, once -he was naked and I could
really see that cock -of his. Man, it looked like somebody had hooked a
fireplug onto his middle! But Id -committed myself and besides, the more I
thought about getting that cock inside me, the better the idea sounded. So
I was really up for it. I didnt have much -idea how I ought to be to do it
that way. I just bent over his desk and stuck my rump out, the first time.
I dont even know bow he got his cock wet enough to go in me-I guess he
must have spit on it. The first time he tried, with me bending over the 
desk, it wouldnt go I wasnt bent forward enough for him to get it aimed
just right.

Let me move over on the sofa, I told him, impatience apparent in my
voice.

We moved over there and I knelt down on it with my fanny way up in the
air, like maybe an ostrich. Just his messing around at the desk, trying to
get it in that had been enough to make me want it more than ever. And I
could tell  right away that this was going to be great, if only he didnt
split me wide open with that cunt-stretcher of his. I got all bent over
just right and he spent a minute or two just feeling of me, running his
hands over my pussy and poking my asshole a little with a finger. Man, I
was perched right on the edge of one of the biggest comes Id ever felt and
I almost let go with it when he was just fooling around! Get it in me, I
moaned, trying to keep from letting it burst inside me. Im dying to come.
Youve already got me so hot I cant hold it any longer! Come on put that
cock up my ass!

I wasnt lying either. Even though we hadnt spent much time in
playing with each other, I was really hungry for it. He must have been in
about the same frame of mind, because he didnt waste much time in getting
set to plunge into me. He wetted his cock again and then he bellied up to
me, aiming that -big dick right up into the rim of my ass. Lord, when I
felt his prong touch me I nearly died, it felt so good! I couldnt hold
back. I begged and pleaded for him to dig in there and give me a butt full
of dick. He did it too, though I thought for a minute hed ruined me for
life.

I know now, since Ive done it plenty and gotten the hang of it, that
the trick is to make your-self relax back there. That way, you can let him
in real easy and its really not a big problem at all. The first time,
though, I didnt know that and so it almost killed me, the way he had to
struggle to get his prick into the mouth of my ass. Lord, he really whanged
it to me! The first time or two he pushed sort of gently, but when it
didnt go and he could tell that he and I both were cranking up for a come,
he really drew back and let fly with a hump! Ill tuck your ass if I have
to tear it open! he grunted. And I believe he really might have done it.

But he didnt have to tear me. That last hump he threw at me was
enough, and the head of his cock popped into place. Man! I let out a yelp
like I never heard before! Partly it was because it hurt-but, more, it was
because I knew Id gotten him inside me, all of him, and that it was
feeling good a lot more than it was hurting. Its still funny, the way it
feels sometimes when Im not relaxed good and he goes into -me. I sort of
hurt, kind of 1-ike tearing off a fingernail or something like that, but at
the same time it really feels good-!

Its nothing at all like taking a man in your cunt-the two feelings are
as different as any feelings could be, even if I dont know how to put it
into words.

But the hurting part never lasts very long and usually I never even pay
any attention to it at all. Mostly, I just hang in there and take it until
hes got the head and maybe an inch or two of the shaft rammed into my ass.
Then Ill start working myself around him real slow while he keeps shoving
it deeper.

Ive learned that you sure cant let loose with any wild humps just
after hes got it in, because itll just pop right out and youre back
where you started from. But once hes got a good bit of it socked into me,
then I can really let loose and start grinding. Its funny, but, when a
mans tucking my cunt, I dont much like to move at all. When hes in my
asshole, man, I really let go and shake it all! This first time, though, I
couldnt move at all. As soon as that great big cock of Hanks stretched
out my ass and slithered into the hole. I started to come and it was like
nothing Id ever had before. Well, I guess it was sort of-like the times
before when Id brought myself off by fingering my asshole, or when a guy
had done it to me with his finger, but it was, like, ten thousand times
better and stronger! Partly, I think, it was just because I knew that it
was his dick and not his finger. That seemed to make it a lot better
somehow.

You know a mans so-proud of his cock, it means so much to him, and then
Hanks is so damned  big anyway-all of that together and being rammed into
me seemed to get -my mind all worked up a lot more than normal.

Anyway, I was just coming all over myself. It seemed like I was even
feeling the spasms in my hair, thats how strong they were! And him, he was
getting it too. He told me later that my ass just ripped the skin away from
the head of his cock and stretched it back so tight he could hardly stand
it. Then, when I started coming, it made my ass grip and clutch at him like
nothing hed ever felt before. I was moaning and crying and taking on and I
guess the fever got to him too. Anyway Id only barely started coming good
when he got it too. He let out a groan and then I felt his cock swell up
till it seemed it was twice its normal size. Wham! A great big thick shot
of come spurted up my ass! Pow!

Another! Lord, he really shot the jism to me, and it felt -like he took
about ten minutes to drain b-is balls. I never felt a man come like that
before and Ive been with some guys that could really shoot out the come. I
guess its his balls. Theyre far-and away the biggest pair I ever felt on
a guy and they were just packed with lovely, hot, come that day. It was
probably because he hadnt had himself a good tuck since hed broken up
with Jean. Or maybe he was just a little extra fired up because he was
screwing a new girl in a strange way.

Whatever it was, he really gave me a hosing and I just loved it all.

No, dont take it out, I told him when hed finally stopped coming and
he acted like he might want to pull it out. Leave it in. I want to get it
in me all the way!

It seemed like I just had to get every inch of that monster up my ass
that first time. Once Id started, I wanted to get it all and he seemed
agreeable to that. We had to wait a little while, because we were both just
totaled by the come, but it didnt take long for us to get back to normal.
He never lost a bit of his hard, which made me feel really good. I took
that to mean that he was really wild about doing it to me some more. After
a bit he roused himself up.

He started screwing it into me a little at a time. Man that was just
like one great, long, slow come! I could feel his cock almost as good as if
Id had it in my hands or my mouth. The head felt like it was about ten
times as big around as the shaft. And that rim, it just drove me crazy it
felt so good

Here I want to do it to myself too, I said, and I squirmed around a
little so I could reach up with one hand and start rubbing around my clit.
Damn, I wish I didnt have the monthly. I bet it would be something to
finger fuck while youre tucking my asshole!

I just might have done it anyway, period or not, except that the string
of that damned Tampax was hanging out the mouth of my cunt and I was afraid
I might get it all jammed up inside me and thered be a fierce hassle about
getting it out again. But it wasnt half bad, just feeling around the ditty
and pulling on the lips of my pussy. It seemed like that made my ass even
more sensitive and I could feel him even better.

Im coming again! I moaned, unable to hold back. Youre tucking
another come out of me!

Except that this was one of those Teal nice, slow type of comes, the
kind that sort of creeps out from your snatch and rolls over your body like
a big fog creeping in from the sea. You dont realize it, but theres this
nice, contented, utterly sexy feeling thats running all through your body
and youre  well-, youre just coming from head to toe, thats the only
way I know how to put it.

Since hed already shot off that first time in my ass that made it
slicker and he didnt have a bit of trouble getting it in way deep. He said
that I wasnt quite as tight deep inside as at the mouth of my ass but,
even at that, I was still a pretty good piece of ass. Id reach up with a
finger every now and then and check to see how much of it was left outside
my ass. Once, when I reached up, I felt his balls dangling against me and
that gave me another sexy idea.

Hey, Im gonna rub your nuts against my pussy! I told him. The idea
seemed like a real crazy one and really got me fired up again. Do you
mind if I get a little blood on them?

My period wasnt real heavy, see, and I didnt think Id spot him at
all, but I thought maybe Id better check to be sure. Some guys, you know,
are really uptight about that stuff and they act like it was some kind of
witches brew.

Rub it all you want, he snorted. Ill lean over and grab your tits.
Maybe thatll make it even better for you! Come on, Linda, shake that ass
and milk my prick again! I feel the come. Ill shoot off again if youll
help me!

If Id help him? Man, Id have done just about anything to have felt 
him spew another load of come up my ass! I told him to go ahead but to be
easy. My nipples get really tender when Im fired up like that and, even
though Id already had one whopper of a come, I knew that they were just as
sensitive as theyd ever been. He leaned forward a little and shoved
another inch of cock up my ass. That was just enough to let me get his sack
in my hand and let me tell you, it was a handful! I started rubbing his
nuts over the lips of my pussy real slow and easy, just playing with myself
and being real careful not to squeeze too hard.

That was the hardest part of all. I know that guys are pretty tender
down there too and, while I wanted to cram those nuts right into the mouth
of my cunt, I had to hold back and not hurt him. Even at that, it was just
utterly sexy, rubbing those big hairy things into my pussy and touching
them to my clit. Funny, but just the idea of rubbing my clit against his
balls affected me more than it usually does when I actually put my finger
to it! Jesus, I cant hold it! I yelled out. Come on, Hank, come again!
Make me do it some more!

Even though I already had this nice, easy come worked up and it was
making me feel so wonderful, I found out all of a sudden that just a little
extra effort from him was enough to turn it into a real tornado of come.
That was just what he needed and he really delivered the goods. He let out
another yelp and drew out about half of that big dong and then be really
rammed it borne. He started shooting again and, while it wasnt nearly as
big a come as hed had before, it was enough. I turned loose with one that
-just about wrecked me. Lord, I was shaking and crying and grunting till
youd have thought I was,dying, which was pretty close to the truth, except
that Id never felt so good in all my life! Well, that was my introduction
to real, first-class butt tucking. Ive never regretted it a minute and
neither has Hank. Since that first time weve done everything there is to
do. Ive given him more blow jobs than hed ever had before and hes tucked
my cunt enough to where I can get a little pleasure from it occasionally.

But, still, when were really turned on and we want  to let it all go,
its that back hole every time! Weve found that its best if I lay on my
back and he gets over me, just like cunt-fucking missionary style, except
that he rams his cock into a hole the missionaries never used! Sometimes
hell grease it up by shoving it up my cunt, or sometimes Ill grease him
up with some stuff I found in a drugstore. But, whichever way it is, I just
lift my legs up real high and lay that asshole out for him. Hell aim his
big cock down into the little puckered up rim an4 then its just pure
heaven from then until the time were tucked out and cant even bear to
think about doing it any more.

Its a drag, having him get up and wash his cock off after hes been in
my ass-in case we want to turn around and do some sucking or maybe give 
my cunt a workout-but, believe me, its really worth the trouble! I
wouldnt have him any other way and I wouldnt take anything for all the
times hes made me come till I couldnt feel anything.

There is one point brought out in Lindas case history that deserves 
further mention. It will be noted that she especially stressed two facets
of her first anal intercourse experience: (1) she was greatly affected by
the idea of his introducing his phallus into her anus, and (2) she was
similarly affected by the idea of exciting herself by manually rubbing his
testicles against her vulva. In both cases she clearly distinguished
between the excitement generated by the act and the excitement produced by
thinking about the act.

As Alfred C. Kinsey and his associates noted, most women are not
especially stimulated by especially sexual thoughts, at least not to the
extent that males are affected. However, they also note that a small
portion of the women they studied were psychologically stimulated by a
greater variety of factors, and more in tensely stimulated than any of the
males in the sample. Their responses had been more immediate, they had
responded more frequently, and they had responded to the point of orgasm
with frequencies that had far exceeded those known for any male. A few of
the females were regularly being stimulated by psychological factors to the
point of orgasm, and this almost never happens among any of the males.
(Kinsey et at, Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, p. 688.) Linda is
undoubtedly one of those women who show an extraordinarily high response to
mental stimuli, as evidenced by her mention of the thoughts noted above.

Chapter 02 Freddie F.

How does a fellow get to be gay? I might not know all of the ways or
the proper explanations, but I know of one way thatll turn anybody gay and
thats to be married to a chick like Ellen. Yeah, Ellen, thats the bitchs
name. I ought to know, because I was married to her for almost three years,
and a hell of a marriage it was. Maybe I wouldnt have made the mistake if
Id known more about women at the time that I married her, but I didnt.
Hell, she was the only woman Id ever been to bed with more than once. Id
balled about four cunts before I met up with her but they were all
one-night stands. Ellen, she seemed a little different and I guess I fell
for her act.

You know, people believe a lot of stuff about artists, about how we all
dont do much except slap paint on canvas and ball every babe in sight.
Maybe thats true for some artists, but I never knew one that it fitted.
For me, anyway, after Id been standing in front of an easel for five or
six hours in a row, sweating my balls off and trying to figure out some way
of getting what was in my head down onto canvas, I wasnt ready for
anything but a long time in the sack. And I do mean alone! I thought
painting was damned hard work and Ive never known a painter who didnt
agree with me on that, if on nothing else.

I used to be a painter, you know. Maybe thats what got Ellen
interested in me in the first place. There were times when I suspected her 
of being in love with the idea of being married to a painter. Id just had
a show when I met her for the first time, and it turned out to be the last
one Id ever have. Nobody knew that at the time, though, least of all
Ellen, and, while I got some pretty favorable comments after that first
show, I couldnt ever get it all back together again. Im fairly well
convinced that it was at least partly her fault. The way she nagged and
prodded! Sure, I wanted to be a success as a painter, but, you know
something? I think she wanted it even more! Im certain that shed have
driven me into an insane asylum if Id only have permitted her to do it. So
long as it would have made her the wife of a prominent painter.

The first time I ever saw her, at that first showing, she came on like
a house afire. Id never really had a girl come at me quite as strong as
she did. She just broadsided me. Even if Id wanted to get away from her, I
doubt if I could have made it. Yeah, we wound up in bed together that night
and did she ever lead me through the paces! All the girls Id ever known,
they were sort of shy and backward, especially when we got around to sex,
and theyd act as though they werent quite sure whether they really wanted
to go ahead with it or not.

That wasnt Ellens way at all! She virtually invited herself back to
my studio after the show and, once we were inside, she just let down all
the barriers. Id barely even gotten the door closed and she was up against
me, rubbing her knockers into my chest and feeling of my fly, trying to get
her hand inside and on my cock. Naturally I didnt resist very much and,
almost before I knew what was happening, she had my cock out and was going
down on me like I was the last man in the world! That just about blew my
mind, her eating me that way! Id always been really wild about the idea of
blow jobs, ever since Id first heard about them, but Id never before had
a girl eat my dick. Id stayed away from the gay side of things. I knew, of
course, that there were guys around whod go down on you but, at that time,
I was all hung up on the idea of making it with girls. I just didnt
realize how good it can be, how natural and free it can be, with guys, you
see. A lot of the time, when I was jerking off, I used to imagine that some
really solid chick was kneeling there in front of me, just holding her
mouth open and waiting while I jerked off and shot a big load of come into
her mouth.

Ill have to give her credit. Ellen really knew how to eat dick! I
havent seen many guys on the gay side who were any better at sticking a
cock than that babe. But, I doubt if she did it because she liked it. I
think shed already figured out that there were some guys who could be
handled if you sucked them off good, and she was always ready to do
whatever had to be done to get her way. Of all the people Ive ever known,
Id say that she was the most shameless about it. I used to argue with her
about the cold, ruthless way she used people, but, after a while, I gave it
up. I just couldnt make her see that it was wrong. She really believed you
know that everybody else was just there for her convenience.

Well, anyway, she sucked me off and did a damned good job of it that 
first time. After Id popped my nuts and filled her mouth full of come, she
was just getting warmed up. She swallowed it all, every drop of it, but she
was just beginning. After shed sucked me off that first time she got up
and started undressing, slow and sexy, giving me this big buildup about how
shed wanted me for so long.

Yes, well get undressed and then Ill finally get my fill of cock,
she said. Ive never had my fill, not all I wanted, and I never saw a man
with a prick like yours, Freddie. Ive got a strong suspicion that youre
the man wholl be able to fuck me until I cant take it any more!

I couldnt say a word. I just pulled my clothes off and leaped onto her
right there on the floor of the studio, Id never had a girl say things
like, that to me before, and hearing them from her was like a breath of
fresh air. I just crawled on and we really went to town.

So hard, so big and strong, she purred as she aimed my dick into the
mouth of her cunt. Just the sort of thing Ive been looking for! Oh,
Freddie, darling, youre tearing my cunt apart!

After a minute it sort of bothered me, the way she kept saying the most
outlandish things. I dont have anything against profanity, of course, but
it bothered me, even then, hearing her say things like that. She had a
vocabulary like a truck driver when she wanted to use it, and she had this
idea that a lot of vulgar language made sex a lot better. Im not built
that way. For some curious reason, I dont mind talk like that at all when
Im with guys, but from girls? It doesnt quite seem to fit.

But I didnt have time to think about that, not then. As soon as she
got my prick inside her, she started screaming and heaving about. I wasnt
sure but what I was hurting her or something. It wasnt anything like that.
It was just her way of trying to convince me that I was really a masterful,
overpoweringly successful lover. Ellen could certainly give a convincing
demonstration of a passionate woman working her way to an orgasm, though I
didnt really realize that she was faking until almost a year after we were
married. That first time, she really went out of her way and put on an
outstanding performance. By the time I got off her I was convinced that I
was the greatest lover in the world, even though I hadnt had all that much
experience at it.

Given the intensity of her attack, you might not be surprised to learn
that it succeeded. Its laughable, now that I can look back on it, to
consider how mismatched we were. I had virtually no experience with women
and didnt know the first thing about how devious and selfish they can be.
I was twenty-one, the same age as Ellen, but she was about four hundred
years ahead of me when it came to experience and knowledge of the world. I
never did find out how many men shed had before me. Once she said it was
twenty-nine and other time she said it was thirty-four. But, by that time,
I knew enough about her that I didnt put any stock in anything she said.

She got herself a painter for a husband, all right. Her old man was
giving her plenty- probably so shed stay away from him, if I know the old
boy very well.

Also, she had a trust fund of her own besides that we had a great time
of it on the honeymoon, Acapulco, Puerto Vallarta-all the places up and
down Mexicos Pacific coast. We spent a lot of time in bed, naturally, and
it was then that I began to get an inkling of what kind of evil was inside
her.

There were times, you see, when Ellen would really let go inside and
shed come on as something that was pretty close to her natural self. I
say pretty close to it because I think shed been deceiving herself and
everybody else for so long that shed forgotten what she really was, deep
down inside. But these times, when she forgot about keeping up her front,
she could be just frightening in her intense concern for herself. That self
seemed to come out most clearly in her sex life, which is perhaps one
reason she didnt really like sex. It threatened to get the best of her and
it was something she wasnt always able to control to her own
satisfaction. I dont mean to say that there were ever times when Ellen was
bursting with compassion for other people. There was never any danger of
that. She was concerned only for herself. But at times the depth of that
concern was simply frightening. Let me give you an example.

When she came closest to losing control, she could be overwhelmingly
domineering. You might recall that D. H. Lawrence has one of his characters
speak of a certain type of woman, the type who claws or digs at a man,
like an eagle tearing flesh out of an animal hes just killed? I never
understood the meaning of that phrase until one afternoon in Acapulco. It
was about a week after the wedding, I suppose, and Id dropped off to sleep
after lunch. I woke up to find Ellen kneeling over me. She had my cock in
her mouth and she was trying to suck me up to an erection. She succeeded in
that, naturally, and as soon as I was hard enough for her purposes she
rolled over onto her back and told me to get on her.

Come on, hurry up and get that cock into me! she snapped, just as if
she were talking to one of the hotels servants. I saw you lying there
asleep and I decided that I had to have it again!

I couldnt say anything I was so overpowered by her lust. She was like
a wild animal, panting and staring until I began to wonder if perhaps she
might be ill. She wouldnt have anything but my prick, however, and I
couldnt do anything but give it to her. Shed already gotten me pretty
well in the mood for another round. But when I got on her and had my prick
in place, it was a lot different from what it had ever been before.

Ellen had this peculiar habit when she was fucking. She didnt like to
hold a fellow with her feet. You know how most girls will hook their heels
into your legs or lock them together around your back? She would never do
that. She just hel4 me with her knees. She had a tremendous amount of power
in her thighs, especially when you consider that she never did anything in
the way of exercise, and she could clamp a grip on you that just about
paralyzed you.

This time she clamped her knees together and started working her hips
up and down. Somehow shed gotten hold of me different and her pubic hair 
was rubbing into the base of my belly. Between that hair and her pubic
bones she was really digging into me, up and down in a steady beat. After
a little while it got to be painful, she was rubbing so hard, and there
wasnt a thing I could do about it-I was pinned there between her knees and
just locked into place.

You might think it absurd that a grown man like myself-and Im not
exactly a weakling either!-couldnt begin to move out of her grasp but its
a fact. At first I didnt want to move but later, when it got tube so
tiresome and painful, I couldnt get away from her for anything! And she
kept rubbing, scratching, digging at me with that voracious cunt of hers!
Thats when I understood what Lawrence meant. It flashed into my mind that
she was devouring my prick with that cunt of hers and just almost eating my
flesh. More and more, that image came to be in my mind, until I couldnt
look at her without thinking about a vulture, or a hawk, or an eagle
tearing great hunks of flesh out of its prey

Ellen helped with that realization, I firmly believe. As soon as we got
back from the honey moon and Id settled back down to trying to paint, she
immediately leaped into a social whirl of art life, and my own life became
a living hell. Ive never been especially fond of parties and gadding about
from this townhouse to that penthouse, the way some people do, though for a
few weeks it was an amusing change of pace. It didnt take long, however,
for me to see that most of these people were not interested in art. They
were only interested in being seen in company with each other. They didnt
care about each other, only in being seen with each other. Thats an
important distinction, I believe.

I remember one evening, as we were dressing to go out to some place
where Ellen had wangled us an invitation I became very tired and
disillusioned with the whole business. I was tying my tie and suddenly I
just stopped and looked at her in the mirror.

Whats the point of all this? I asked. Why must we go out tonight and
meet these people? "Darling, its necessary if youre to become a famous
artist, she told me.

Some of the people there are very important in the art world and we
must cultivate them. I happened to know that the people we were going to
meet that night were the same people wed been seeing almost constantly. I
also knew that none of them knew anything about painting, except what they
told each other and that was only a half-understood mishmash of something
theyd read in a newspaper. I said as much and Ellen just blew up! She
ranted and raved, accused me of trying to short change her, of trying to
disrupt her life and upset all her plans. She was really ticked off in a
way that Id never seen her before, never even suspected her of being
capable of. That gave me something to think about, and I began doing some
heavy thinking from that night onward.

You know, Ellen, really believed that she could do it. I mean, that she
could make me into a famous painter just by hanging around that kind of
people, going along with them and catering to them. I tried to suggest to 
her a few times that it might help if I were to be left alone long enough
to do some painting, but she wouldnt hear of that.

Look at -, shed say. Hes the talk of the town and does he matter?
Does he know anything about color or space?

She had me there. The guy she named, along with three or four others
were indeed famous- well, talked about a lot-and none of them knew very
much about what they were doing. Of course they werent talked about by
people who knew anything about painting but, when I pointed this out to
Ellen, she just got madder.

Him? Hes nothing but a broken-down old faggot, she said, when I
mentioned one man who wasnt at all impressed by her new idols. Who pays
any attention to him?

I could have told her that just about every body that cared or knew
very much about painting paid a lot of attention to him, but she wasnt
interested, as I soon discovered. Ellen wanted herself a front-page
painter, somebody who would help make her famous too. It took me several
months to realize this and the truth only penetrated gradually. By that
time we were really pretty far into this new social scene, and were finding
that there was a lot of between4he-sheets activity going on all the time.
You cant imagine some of the grubby, filthy scenes taking place at some of
the parties we attended! People grabbing at one another, tumbling into bed
with the first person they could find. It was really vulgar and
simpleminded.

Ellen loved it, even down to the orgy-type affairs. I suppose it gave
her a boost, thinking that she was living as artists lived; though precious
few real artists ever lived like that! It wasnt quite so surprising to me,
finding that we were getting into that scene, because Id already
discovered that Ellen had all the moral fiber of, a common alley cat! She
came in several times after a day out on the town, and was quite open about
what shed been doing. I mean, when your own wife opens up her purse and
has to take her panties out to find her cigarettes; you begin to suspect
that she hasnt been out trying on hats!

Her adventures didnt do anything to stultify her appetite for me,
however, and more than once she made love to me when her pussy was still
wet with another mans come! I confronted her with the fact, to be sure.
She never even bothered denying it. Her explanation was that everybody else
was doing it, so why shouldnt she?

Furthermore, she would have me know, she believed that by being nice
to some of these people she would be able to build up my name and make me
more of a well-known painter! As if fucking had anything to do with color
and space and line! She really believed it, though, and there was simply
nothing I could do to disabuse her of the silly idea.

It was at one of these sex parties that I made my big break and first
discovered that there was something to life besides lying between Ellens
merciless thighs and having her claw at me with that vicious little snatch
of hers. Not that I was all that interested in making it with any of her 
women acquaintances-they were all at least as self-centered and callous as
she.

Hardly any of them were even as physically attractive as Ellen. She had
a way of concealing her essential hardness under a soft covering so that it
wasnt apparent immediately. Mostly, at these affairs, I would screw Ellen
and then sit back and drink while the others went at each other.
Occasionally a woman would come by and suck me. A few of them, rather liked
kneeling between my legs and eating my cock as I sipped at a Scotch and
water.

On this particular occasion, Ellen and I had been in a bedroom, stark
naked and going through our usual routine. By this stage of our marriage,
I was frankly rather bored with her, the marriage, and the entire crowd. I
showed it by just lying on her and allowing her to do whatever she would.
It was rather a nice way of getting back at her, holding off on my orgasm,
and she didnt like it a bit. Probably because it told her that she wasnt
totally in control of my physical responses! She fucked away at me until
she got tired and then made me get off. Just as I rolled off her, another
fellow wandered into the room and began stroking his prick as he watched
us. I was lying beside Ellen, about half-erect, and she was fuming with
rage. She watched this fellow jerk off for a minute or two-he was
exceptionally well hung, perhaps eight or nine inches and very thick-and
then she conceived this desire to have him.

Why dont you let me do that for you? she muttered, licking her lips
and devouring him with her eyes. Let me work my cunt around you -Ill
bring you off!

He got on her and they went at it for a minute or two, but then he
decided he wanted her on top. Ellen agreed and they rolled over. I was
sitting in a position that allowed me to see his cock going into her cunt
and I watched with a great deal of interest. That big thing, so hard and
round, exerted a strange power on me and I began wondering what it would be
like to bold it in my hand.

Ellen kept grinding herself against him in an effort to bring him off,
but she couldnt. Twice in a row she had failed to convert a man into a
gushing tool for her own use! She got off him after a while and stamped out
of the room, leaving us there.

I was glad that she had left and I said as much. The fellow agreed with
me. I couldnt take my eyes off his cock-it was positively hypnotic. Even
though it was covered with that slimy, fishy oil a woman generates, I
couldnt help but think about sucking him, or perhaps working him off with
my hand. He saw my interest and smiled. 

Why dont you suck it? he asked. 1 was really more interested in you
anyway.

That bitch, she only uses men!

I couldnt resist and so I did. Id never done it to a man before but
Ellen had sucked me often enough that I knew exactly how to make it good. I
leaned over him and took his cock into my mouth. I wrapped my tongue around
his prick and began lapping up and down the thick, hot shaft. Even though I
detested the taste of cunt, I didnt mind it so much that time because
of.the way his cock felt. So warm, so filling! I began working my head up
and down until I was actually flicking him with my mouth.

He seized my head in his hands and began working his cock in and out.
I kept on sucking and before very long, became a long, gushing, powerful
shoot that overwhelmed me with joy. I felt my own cock leaping out of
control and I came too. I never knew such pleasure as I felt at that
moment. From that day on, I became more and more interested in men.

An old saying has it that some men are born queer and others become
that way.

The case of Freddie F. would appear to be an example of that aphorism
being made real. Freddie, a tall and rough-hewn man in his middle thirties,
was an artist, but also the personal secretary of a man who owned and
managed one of the cities most prominent and successful art galleries. His
employer had dealt in paintings all his adult life and had built up a
reputation for knowledge and judgment that made his name a powerful force
in the world of art. Clearly, Freddies employer was not one of those
celebrity-struck art buffs whom his wife adored.

In attempting to account for Freddies decision to confine his sexual
activities to men, a decision which he took after that first experience at
fellating a man, we must recognize that we are treading on dangerous
ground. As one authority in the field has remarked, There is no single
theory that completely explains the cause of this aberration, what causes
one person to become a homosexual may not hold true of another. Whether or
not a child develops homosexual tendencies is dependent upon a number of
contributory factors-parental influence, experiences of a sexual nature
during childhood or early adolescence, feelings of inferiority associated
with specific handicaps, personal reactions to home environment as well as
susceptibility to influences within the community. (Caprio, Variations in
Sexual Behavior, p. 91.) Two of these factors, the second and third listed,
are of special interest in further understanding Freddies behavior.

When asked to describe his earliest sexual experiences, Freddie
admitted that he had learned to masturbate from a childhood friend.
Neither of them had masturbated the other, though this is not necessary in
order for the act to qualify as a homosexual experience in the strictest
definition of the term.

Freddie and his friend quickly enlarged their circle of acquaintances
and it was common for as many as half a dozen of the boys to be
masturbating in unison. This is not unusual-behavior. The circle jerk, as
childhood vernacular terms it, will be familiar to many of our readers.

The unusual aspect of Freddies experience is that he came to associate
the sight of penises with sexual arousal. The sight of an erect phallus,
preferably large, always affected him strongly and, often, he stimulated
himself while masturbating by concentrating upon images of the male sexual
organ. He specifically mentioned that he preferred remembering penises 
which were unusually large. An investigator familiar with homosexuals and
their thought processes remarks that This concern about the size of the
penis is common to most of them. They are either self-conscious because of
their small penis (penis-inferiority), or they possess a large penis and
feel proud that it is larger than that of someone else. They use the penis
as a symbol of masculinity (compensation for effeminacy.) (Caprio,
Variations in Sexual Behavior, p.

125.)

The same writer goes on to observe that many homosexuals lack confidence
in their relations with the opposite sex. His fear that he might not be
able to satisfy a woman sexually accounts for some of his inhibitions.
Obsessed with the idea that he was regarded as a sissy,' becomes obsessed
with the idea that he would probably disappoint a girl sexually. To avoid
any acute frustration in this regard he protects himself by trying not to
think of nice girls in a sexual way (Ibid., p. 126.) Everything about
Freddie suggests that he felt distinctly inferior toward women. He pointed
out that he had had relatively little sexual experience at the time he met
the woman he married. This revelation suggests a disinclination to get
involved with the opposite sex, perhaps due to doubts of his ability to
satisfy their sexual desires. As a child, his interest in art-notoriously
an unmanly interest in our society-would have operated to further this
sense of inferiority and unmanliness. Once he discovered that his wife was
interested in him less for his own sake than for what she could make out of
him, this old feeling of weakness would have been strongly reinforced.

Thus our subjects early experiences with mutual masturbation and his
unsatisfactory relations with the opposite sex would seem to explain his
readiness to convert to the homosexual way of life. His wifes scornful
attitude toward homosexuals, as expressed in her contemptuous dismissal as
an old faggot of the man Freddie held up as an example of a truly
knowledgeable art critic, would have aided him in his decision. By becoming
something she detested, a homosexual, he would in a way be striking back at
her.  As we shall see later, Freddie soon lost his interest in fellating
other men and became exclusively anal centered. He had no interest at all
in sodomizing other men; his desire was to be sodomized. Ordinarily this
desire suggests a subconscious wish, or a conscious one, to be a woman
rather than a man. By offering himself as a receptacle for the lovers
phallus, the passive sodomite can play the womans role in sexual
intercourse and thus feed his own fantasies. In many cases, such desires
also express themselves in transvestitism, or the wearing of the clothes
appropriate to the opposite sex.

Freddie displayed none of this characteristic. In appearance and
conversation be gave the impression of solid masculinity, though this 
appearance was quite deceiving. This is not surprising, since a certain
number of men who appear muscular, athletic, and manly in every respect are
actually enthusiastic homosexuals. Some of those over muscled young men
whose pictures adorn the physical culture magazines are only interested in
the endowments -of other young men. Obviously they have enough male sex
hormones. (Reuben, Everything You At ways Wanted To Know About Sex, p.
130.) Thus there is no correlation between the way a male homosexual looks
and the way he prefers to have his sexual pleasure.

Herb, the guy I'd sucked off at that party, didnt waste much time in
getting me tied into the gay world. We met at a couple more of those sex
parties. He wasnt one hundred percent gay. Hed ball girls just enough so
that nobody accused him of being overly gay. At each of these parties I
went down on him again. Really, it was far more satisfying to suck him than
it had ever been to fuck a girl, especially Ellen. I was completely soured
on her by this time and I knew that everything in our marriage had simply
been a gigantic hoax. She cared nothing about me whatever and Id be
surprised to find out I ever so much so much as gave her even a flicker of
pleasure in all the time we spend in bed together.

It was quite different with men. When a man comes, you know it! You
cant help but see or feel or taste the flow of his come. I quickly found
that this ability of mine, to deliver sexual pleasure, was very satisfying
to me. Before Id never been really sure whether I was making the woman
feel good or not. Now there was no doubt whatever about it. I could tell
right away that making it with guys was completely in another realm as far
as real, lasting satisfaction was concerned.

As soon as I discovered hew great it was to make it with a guy, I just
dried up altogether as far as Ellen was concerned. That really burned her
up, finding out that I didnt need her or want her any more. In a way, that
was one of the greatest satisfactions about switching over to the gay side
of things. Giving that selfish bitch her comeuppance was one of the most
enjoyable things I ever did. You could tell it in my painting, even, that I
was feeling better inside.

A lot of the tensions that had marred the work Id been doing, they all
began working themselves out and for a time there I was really painting
pretty well.

Not like I had just before that first show, unfortunately. But for a
time I thought I was going to be able to put something new together and
really make a go of it.

I peaked out at just about that time, though, and after working with
canvas for a month or so I finally had to give up and admit the truth-Id
painted myself out, totally and completely, and Id gotten to the point
where I didnt even care any more about trying to put it alt down on
canvas. Thats the ultimate dead end for a painter, when you dont care any
more, and I could see the handwriting on the wall.

Fortunately Id met Gerald by that time. He could see that I was
through as a painter and when I finally got around to admitting it to 
myself he took me on as his secretary. I havent lost my feeling for
painting, you understand. Ive only lost my desire to paint. I can still
appreciate the work that others are doing, however. Thats one thing that
makes me valuable to Gerald. Im pretty sure that he would keep me on as
his secretary even if we stopped being lovers, so long as it wasnt one of
those tempestuous, melodramatic breaks where people screech and throw
things at each other and say dreadful things. Not that theres much
likelihood of that! Gerald must have heard through the grapevine that I
was coming on strong as far as the gay scene was concerned. Wed known each
other for several years and, yes, I was perfectly aware of his preference
for men as lovers. Wed always been friends, though Im not quite sure why.
My painting was never good enough to excite his admiration; even the best
work I ever did. There are times when I believe that he saw, even that far
ago, that he and I had a great future together.

Youll have to understand that, at the time that Gerald and I first
became lovers, I still didnt have much experience at this sort of thing.
As far as I was concerned, sucking was the absolute ultimate in sex and Id
have been perfectly content to have left it at that. And especially when
its a question of Gerald-hes monumentally hung, you know, and has a cock
thats simply the most beautiful thing Ive ever seen. Its every bit of
ten inches long and has this magnificently sculpted head thats perfectly
immense: Its simply a gorgeous prick.

We were up in his studio the first time that we balled. Id come there
to meet him for an appointment. Gerald was showering when I arrived. I know
that thats a very outdated way of getting the message across but it worked
with me and thats what matters, isnt it? I came into the Studio and he
called me into the bedroom. When he came out of the bathroom he was naked,
obviously, and I couldnt help staring at his meat. It was so huge, so
attractive, that I was overwhelmed. Id never seen one so large, especially
when it wasnt hard, and the sight was intoxicatingly erotic. "Its only a
prick, he said, throwing the towel aside when hed finished with it.
Every man has one!

But how many men have one like that? I asked. Its beautiful!

Would you like to make it get hard? he asked. So it stands up proud
and stiff? Would you like that, Freddie?

God yes! I exclaimed. Its so beautiful!

I must have sounded like a silly teenager, repeating myself like that,
but I simply couldnt control myself. Ive been excited before but that
afternoon with Gerald, I was excited beyond anything Id ever felt before
in my entire life. Id had some experiences with a couple of other fellows
in addition to Herb, by that time, and I knew pretty well what was expected
of me. But when I got a glimpse of Geralds cock I simply dissolved into a
quivering mass with no self-control at all! Suck it up for me, Gerald
whispered, moving closer to me and standing directly before me. Use your
tips and make it firm and stiff! Pull the skin back with your lips so you
can use your tongue to make me ready!

He wasnt circumcised and I had the unique joy of skinning a fellow
back with my mouth. Mmm, what a joy, to feel the naked head swelling out
into your, mouth as you force the Skin back! I almost shot off then, as I
was exciting him, but I managed to hold it back. He was coming around,
slowly but definitely, and it wasnt too long before I had raised a
tremendous hard for him. Gerald is about ten years older than I, so it
takes him a little while to get completely ready, but, once hes hard, hes
just a whole lot of man! Why dont you lie back here so I can go down on
you properly? I suggested.

Or would you rather go at it together?

Lets not play around with childish games, he replied, standing back
to admire the change I had brought about. Why dont you undress and lets
act like adults?

What do you mean? I asked, not knowing what he was talking about.

I mean that Id like to fuck you in the ass, he said, looking at me
in surprise. Surely you like it that way, dont you?

I dont know, I confessed. Ive never tried it like that. He was
absolutely dumbfounded when I said that Id never been fucked in the
asshole. At first he wouldnt believe it, but I suppose my surprise and
innocence showed through well enough for him to see that I really didnt
know anything about it. He couldnt get over the fact that I was a
virgin-anal, to be sure, but then thats the only kind that matters in our
world -and that I was his for the taking.

Ive been fucking guys for twenty-five years, he exclaimed, and Ive
never yet had a cherry! At last, and it had to be with you! Oh, Freddie,
Im going to do things to you thatll make you ache all over with pleasure!
Im going to fuck that tight little asshole of yours until you come from
head to foot!

Youll shoot come so far into the air well both have a sperm shower!
Oh, baby, are you ever going to remember this!

He started undressing me and I helped as best I could, which wasnt too
much, since he was so eager to get at me. When he got my trousers and
shorts off, he raved ecstatically about my gear. He was especially taken
with my balls and he swore that hed drain them over and over until I
couldnt come for a week! Hes the sort, you know, who loves a great, huge,
voluptuous discharge in his lovers and if I do say it, Ive never seen
anyone-not even Gerald, as well-hung as he is-with a pair of balls the size
of mine.

Of course I was a little uncertain about letting him get that big cock
of his up my ass. My concern showed, but he promised me that it would be
the greatest thing in the world and that, once Id tried it, I would never
go back to sucking or any other kind of sexual activity. Id never even
tried fingering myself in the ass. To be perfectly frank about it, Id
never so much as considered the whole as a possibility so far as sex is
concerned! Somehow, though, I had a lot of confidence in Gerald and I felt
that if it was at all possible, he would do it to me just as he said.

The first thing, he said to me as he went over to a little stand
beside his bed, is to get some lubricant. This is the one place where girls
have it over us-theyre self-lubricating! But this little tube of surgical
jelly is the stuff. Itll make everything possible and enjoyable. You just
sit there, you dear boy, and Ill get us ready for some of the intense
pleasure you ever experienced in your life!

Gerald squirted out a big glob of the stuff into his hand and rubbed it
all over his cock, greasing the tool from tip to base. Then he used his
finger to grease my whole. As soon as he put his finger in that tight
little opening, I sensed that I was in for a really momentous experience.
Even his finger was extremely delightful and I could see that he was right
about it being so marvelous.

Yes, youre made for butt fucking, be said, noticing the way Id
reacted*hen he put his finger up my ass. Youve got a tender little one
there and itll go mad with pleasure when I spread it wide open with my
cock! Freddie, this is the greatest day in my life, the absolutely
greatest!

Once hed gotten us both greased up properly, he had me lie on my back.
He explained that sometimes guys liked it better doing it doggie style but
he wanted to see the expression on my face when I felt his cock going in
and when I felt him start to come. He had me prop my legs up on his
shoulders. Id seen some women getting fucked that way at the parties Ellen
and I had attended. The idea of getting it just the way they did was very
appealing to me. Then he started shoving the cock to me. At first I didnt
feel anything but then, all of a sudden, there was a blinding pain
radiating out from my ass. It felt exactly as though someone were cutting
me open! Youve got to relax, he told me. Concentrate on relaxing your
muscles, Freddie. Its going in perfectly. If youll just not fight against
me, Ill have it in all the way in a moment and then we can get down to
some serious fucking!

I reached down between us and felt, just to see how it was going. You
can imagine my surprise when I found that he already had three or four
inches of dick up my ass already! I did just as he said and after a moment
or two I found that I could make it a lot easier on myself by relaxing all
the muscles in my rump. It took a little while before I could really get
the hang of it but, once Id caught onto the secret, it went a lot easier.
You know, Ive read some case histories and personal experiences of people,
mostly women, telling about their introduction to butt fucking and just
about all of them agree that the first moment or two is the worst, at least
until you get used to it.

It was certainly that way for me. Perhaps it was due to Geralds
experience, I dont know, but the painful part didnt last very tong at
all. I imagine it was partly the shock of being had in that way, together
with the newness of it, that made the first experience so painful for me. I
know that the second and third times he did it to me werent nearly so bad
and now, of course, he slides into me as easy as can be.

God, youre tight! he told me, panting very hard, and beginning to get
extremely excited. Your ass is gripping me like a vise!

Thats another thing about Gerald that I like a great deal. Some of the
gay guys, you know, come on in a very refined, delicate sort of way,
sometimes even effeminately. I especially despise that kind of man-I like a
man whos not ashamed of being a man, whos strong and virile and utterly
masculine. And while I dont especially like to use profanity in polite
conversation, I certainly relish hearing strong talk when Im making love.
Geralds exactly the same way-ordinarily hell go for days without letting
so much as a damn slip out, but when hes in bed with me he really lets
out all the stops!

Puck it to me! I muttered, holding onto him tightly and trying to get
my ass to working around his cock Shove it deep and Ill fuck your balls
off! Ill drain you with my asshole!

Youve got the sweetest fucking action Ive ever seen, he said,
drawing in a deep breath and really beginning to drive his cock home. Im
going to fill you so full of prick and* come youll wonder whats happened
to you! Ill make you come forever!

Just then he reached in with one hand and started jacking me off. That
was a completely new revelation to me. Id never even thought about my
cock. All I could think of was his wonderful cock and the way he was
driving it deeper and deeper into my asshole. When he started jerking me
off, I simply went into orbit, the sensations were so deliciously strong. I
could feel every inch of his big prick boring deep into my ass. Hed
stretched me to the limit, naturally, and I was tight as a drum. And then
his fist, gripping my prick and sliding up and down! His hand was still wet
with the surgical jelly and it slipped easily up and down the shaft of my
cock. I simply turned into a semen-fountain and, the next thing I knew, I
was shooting come all over us both.

That was only the beginning, however. Geralds the type who gets most
excited when his partner begins to come and, once he saw the stuff I was
producing, he simply went wild. Oh, the way he fucked my ass! The way he
whipped his cock in and out of my rear! I thought hed tear a new hole down
there, honest. Then, that last bull-like lunge when he tried to sink it all
into me! He held himself there, as deep as he could get it, and then the
come started jetting out of his cock! Oh, he shot, and shot, and shot,
until I was certain Id drained him completely. But then he seemed to get a
second wind and he was shooting some more of that heavenly stuff into my
ass! It went on forever, it seemed, and all the while he was grunting and
sobbing and carrying on. Youd have thought he was undergoing the Chinese
water torture! Id,have been concerned about him except that I could feel
his cock leaping about and spurting out hot, come and I knew that he was
feeling pleasure, not pain.

Ive never, had an ass as good as that! he cried out when at last
hed finished coming and hed pulled his cock from my ass. Ive laid some
sweet men in my time, but that was the greatest ever!

Let me tell you, I never heard anything from Ellen which was a tenth as
welcome as those words I heard from Gerald the first time he fucked me in
the ass. And I never felt anything in my entire life that was nearly as
exciting and satisfying; all at the same time, as when I felt his big
stud-horse prick begin shooting come up my ass. Feeling him come, listening
to him, having him in me, was simply the best thing that bad ever happened
to me. At last, I felt from the bottom of my heart that Id really given
sexual pleasure to someone else. I felt this pleasure and satisfaction so
strongly that it was almost incidental when I began to get my own come.

Yes, Gerald was still jacking me off as fast as he could and my prick
was responding with a tremendous climax. The sperm shot up between us,
squirting up onto his chest and shooting all over mine until we were both
bathed in the stuff. Id never before been really fond of feeling the hot,
sticky stuff on my own body but now, once he was doing, it to me and I was
enclosing all his tremendous, lovely cock in my ass, I hadnt mind it a
bit. I just laid there and shot off all over both of us.

Lovely come! Beautiful, hot, sticky, thick come! he breathed, looking
down to see what he had brought about. What a shoot! Freddie, when I get
off you Im going to lick every drop of that delicious come off your chest
and belly. Fortunately Gerald isnt one of those guys that detests the
sight and feel of sperm. There are some men that way, you know.-Theyre
just really hot to have you suck them off, or maybe to fuck you in the ass,
but as soon as they pop their nuts theyre through with you. Its almost as
if they were ashamed of having gone so far. You couldnt get one of those
fellows to suck you or to let you fuck them in the ass for anything in the
world. Geralds different. Hes simply a total sexual being and hes ready
for just about anything thats sexual, when hes in the mood. Anything I
can suggest, hes ready for it.

Ive tried fucking him in the ass a couple of times. Its all right, I
suppose, but I only did it because he insisted that I try it. For me, the
supreme pleasure is having him inside me. I suppose Ive got an essentially
feminine point of view. Certainly Id much rather play the womans part
when we get down to sex play. Sometimes Geralds in the mood for a blow job
and of course Im always only too happy to honor his wishes in that
respect! Mostly, though, we just keep on with what has already worked so
well for us-him packing my ass with his mammoth cock. Thats still the
best solution Ive found for handling the sexual drive and its one that
Ill always love.

Theres only one drawback to anal sexuality, as far as I can tell, and
thats the soreness. Yes, even now, after hes been up my butt for who
knows how many times, Im still pretty sore the morning after. That isnt
such a great problem, fortunately, because the soreness is almost always
gone by the next evening. And since Geralds sex drive has diminished
somewhat, he very rarely wants me in the morning, after weve made love
the night before. If hes exceptionally horny I usually give him a blow job
and hes satisfied with that.

Id gladly lie there and let him wallop the prick to me again in the
ass, but he knows how sore I am, so he never suggests doing it that way.
Hes so considerate and thoughtful! Mostly we do it the way he did it to
me that first time around-you know, with me on my back and him lying over
me. Thats the most satisfying way that I know of, since it allows us to
see each other, to catch all the fleeting expressions of love and joy as
they pulse through our bodies. Occasionally hell have me kneel and hell
come into me from the rear, reaching around so he can jack me off. Thats
not bad but most of the time I like it better when were face to face.

I think one of the reasons we get along so well is that neither of us
is really dedicated to the ideal of faithfulness. I mean, if Gerald sees a
likely piece of ass, hell take it if hes in the mood and its the same
with me. We mainly keep it for each other but were not dominated by the
idea, you understand. Occasionally well get together with another friend
or two and things will get a little more complex.

Just last week, for example, we had this very nice young man in for
dinner and we had a little party afterwards, just the three of us. He was
only twenty or so and extremely virile. I sucked him off a couple of times
while Gerald watched. Hes something of a voyeur, Gerald is! Once wed
performed enough to get Geralds cock as stiff as it could be, he mounted
me from the rear. Teddy, the other fellow, lay on his back with me over him
so that we could eat each other as Gerald fucked his big tool into my
asshole. It turned out that Teddy had a sensitive ass too and so I
finger-fucked his ass while I was going down on him. He ate me at the same
time and we were all creaming together after a while. That was an
incredibly erotic evening for all of us. I must have come three times at
least and Gerald was simply incredible. He stayed in my ass for I dont
know how long, just fucking away like a mad boar, and after hed shot me
full of come, Teddy persuaded him to have another round. That time he got
on Teddy and shoved it up his ass! I was so exhausted and weak from the
climaxes Id already had that I couldnt move at all, so I just lay there
and watched them go at it. Altogether it was a very satisfying evening and
its one that Ill remember for a long time.

Homosexual marriages, whether formal or informal, are not noted for
their longevity. As Dr. David Reuben remarks, male homosexuals who stay
together for extended periods are mighty rare birds among the homosexual
flock Live together? Yes. Happily? Hardly. The other part of these
marriages that doesnt fit in with happiness is that the principals never
stop cruising. They may set up housekeeping together, but the parade of
penises usually continues unabated. Only this time, jealousy, threats,
tantrums, and mutual betrayal are thrown in for good measure. Mercifully
for both of them, the life expectancy of their relationship together is
brief. (Reuben, Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex, p. 143.)
Freddies relationship with Gerald would appear to have a slightly better
chance for lasting happiness than the average homosexual liaison. The main
reason for offering this judgment is the readiness with which both of them 
gratify their wayward impulses and display no overt jealousy toward the
other partners cruising practices. This willingness to accept occasional
infidelity in the partner suggests a slightly higher level of maturity on
their part and thus indicates a somewhat better chance for a continued
sexual relationship.

CHAPTER THREE

Judy C.

Sure, I know all about that all-American, Corn Flakes girl look. Ive
been hearing it all my life, I think. But you know what the funniest part
of it all is? I wasnt even in the country for nearly all the time I was
growing up! What I mean is Mom and I moved out to Libya to be with Dad when
I was four. From then until I was thirteen, we just moved with him from one
job to another. All that time, except for some vacations, we were never in
the United States! But still Ive got this blonde hair, these blue eyes.
Why, when I came back to the States to start in that boarding school, I
even had pigtails and freckles! I cant help coming on that way, but youll
have to admit that its only skin deep underneath Im quite a different
person.

Those camps where we spent most of our time werent really so bad. I
mean, they werent nearly as bad as Mom let on. I think she did it mostly
to be complaining and to give Dad a hard time. They didnt fight or argue
all that much but, every once in a while, theyd really let their hair down
and let everything get out in the open. Sure, some of the camps were pretty
primitive-most of them didnt have running water and you were lucky if you
had an enclosed place where you could take a crap. We stayed in a lot of
places where you just had to hang your ass over a trench and let it go.
But, I still dont know why Mom complained so much about it all. She was
always pretty big on camping and the outdoor life. Maybe she just wanted
something to piss and moan about.

Maybe she was just taking it out on him because he knocked her up
again. See, they hadnt originally intended to have any children at all and
then theyd had me. That nearly ripped it for them. Thats when Mom went
back to the States and she wouldnt go back to Dad till I was almost four.
Right after they got back together again, barn! Another baby up the old
cock hole! Mom was about to go out of her mind when she found out she had
me up her cunt.

The way I know about all this is that when my grandmother died three
years ago-this was Moms mother-I was the one who had to go over and get
the stuff all sorted out. There were a lot of letters Morn had written,
going back to when shed first met Dad; and I read them all. I found out a
lot of things I hadnt known the afternoon I opened up that old trunk, 
believe me! Maybe another reason Morn always bitched about the camps was
that, if there was a house at all, it was usually just a little one or two
room hut with cardboard for walls and all that sort of thing. I figured
out, from things I remembered hearing her say and from what I saw in the
letters, that it really bugged her, having to screw Dad with Billy and me
sleeping in the same room.

She was a real hot ass, no doubt about it, and I guess she loved her
prick. But I can see how it might inhibit you a little, trying to ball your
old man with a couple of kids sleeping six or eight feet away.

One way they used to cope with that kind of situation was to fuck in
the bathroom, whenever they had one. Mom would turn the shower on- most of
those showers were lined with flattened out gasoline drums-and that would
make enough noise till youd think the house was coming down. I never
understood why they would both get in the bathroom at the same time until
one day I happened to find out.

We were taking a vacation, a short one, and wed rented a little beach
house on Crete. This one was a real palace-at least, it had two
bathrooms-and Billy and I had a bedroom to ourselves. For some reason,
though, Mom and Dad didnt give up the old ways. Maybe theyd gotten hooked
on bathroom screwing, I dont know. They were going at it in the john. The
way I found out is that I was looking in this little cupboard under my own
lavatory and I peeked through a crack where the plumbing went through. It
was a really crummily built house and you could see right in to where they
were.

Mom was sitting over Dad, with her back to him. He was on the stool and
she was just fitting his tool up into her cunt. Man! I never knew he had a
thing like that hooked onto him! It looked about the size of my forearm and
it had this big red knob at the end. But Mom wasnt scared of it, not one
bit! Man, she gathered that big hunk of cock up and just rammed it up her
cunt! And then, when she got a good cunt-grip on it, she really went to
town! Of all the grunting and heaving and ass-grinding you ever saw, she
really put on the best show ever; and, when shed fucked him into a big
come, she just hopped right off and started going down on him! Once Id
peeked through that hole and saw what was going on I was hooked. I couldnt
have looked away for anything in the world. I didnt have the slightest
idea what they were doing. Shit, I wasnt but seven or eight at the time.
What could you expect from me? It really got hold of me. I didnt come or
anything like that while I was watching but, as I remember, I got a nice
little glow down in my pussy. Of course I didnt know what to do about it
then.

Anyway, I really remember the bathrooms, or the lack of them, at the
places we stayed when I was growing up. Every time Id go out to pee or
take a shit, if it was one of the places where we had to go outdoors and
there wasnt any place to hide, Mom would always tell me to be sure and
look around so nobody would see me doing it. I dont know what could be so
damned exciting about watching a little girl piss or shit, but she sure 
went on about it.

And Billy, I guess I remember him too, the little turd. Man, it really
knocked me out when he was born. I guess it was natural for Da4 to take on
about me right after Mom and I hail moved out to join him. After all, I was
his only child and it had been a long time since hed seen me. That first
year, man, he really took on about me and acted like I was just the
greatest thing in the world. And then Billy came along. It was just the
difference between night and day, the difference when he made the scene. I
guess I was a nasty little shit for a while. Ive read a little psychology
since then and I know that theres such a thing as sibling rivalry. But I
also know that it wasnt right, Dad taking on about him so much.

What the hell, he couldnt do anything but lay there in the crib and
yell for the nipple. Either that or mess up his diapers. God, the times I
had to wipe the crap off his ass! Mom hated diapers and shed always try
to get me to change him if she could. I guess thats one reason I started
going outside so much, just to get away from all that crap. Im just
positive that there were times when I could cheerfully have let the little
asshole wander off into the desert by himself. I detested him that much.

But that wasnt all of it. At the same time that I hated him, Id hate
myself too. You know, everyone had always given me that big line about
famil3f solidarity and all that. If I say it myself, we were a pretty tight
family and I guess thats why I sometimes felt so bad about the way I felt
and acted when Billy was around. There were times-not very many, but there
were some-when Id really go overboard trying to make it up to him for all
the bad things Id done or thought.

Thats exactly what led to my getting the only spanking I ever got in
my life.

It wasnt very long after that time that I first saw Mom and Dad fucking
in the john, as a matter of fact. Billy and I had gone down to the beach,
to a fairly secluded little cove that we used sometimes, and wed had a
little swim. When we got out, hed howled and cried till Id taken his
bathing suit off. Hed gotten some sand on it and he thought it was ruined.

Well, the more I looked at him running around naked the more I thought
about what Id seen Mom do that time with Dad. I dont mean the tucking
part-I knew that was out already. I mean the sucking part, the part where
shed licked his cock off after shed fucked him. Well, after a little bit
I just couldnt stand it any more and I got Billy down so I could suck on
his cock. It was such a tiny little thing I barely could get hold of it
with my lips. But it got hard and I believe that he was getting a pretty
good feeling out of it. He got real still and quiet when I got my mouth on
it, like maybe he was reeling it pretty good.

Regardless of whether he was feeling it or not, that was about the time
Morn came in and caught me going down on him. Man, was she ever ticked off!
That was the only time I ever got a spanking in my entire life but she
really laid it on me.

You little whore! she yelled out when she saw what I was doing. Ill 
beat your ass into a pulp! The very idea, doing that to your own baby
brother!

And she damn near did beat my ass to a pulp, too. She yanked up my
dress and started whaling my butt with a hairbrush, just like in the
cartoons. I thought shed never quit. I didnt even have a chance to
explain that I was just doing what Id seen her do, though I guess now its
just as well that I didnt go into that! Anyway, she really did a job on
me. Hell, I wasnt intending to hurt the little fart. I just wanted to see
what it felt like! And Billy, I think, was sort of enjoying it.

Anyway, Mom was sure now, that the camp life was making me into a
whore, even though I was only eight or nine. She was always really uptight
about maybe One of the workers getting a prick into me, and she used to
harp at me all the time about being careful not to wander off. Hell, I
dont think there was all that much danger but what could I do? I stayed
around pretty close to the campsite, wherever it happened to be. It wasnt
long after shed caught me sucking Billy that she started talking to Dad
about sending me to a boarding school.

All that time, you understand, I was getting my education through one
of those correspondence course deals that some religious order in the
States has set up. Between that and what I got from Mom and Dad, together
with a tutor they hired for one summer, I was in pretty good academic
shape. I had to take an entrance exam but I didnt have any trouble with
that. So, I was ready to go to boarding school just after Id turned
thirteen. I wasnt a total novice about sex s4ff when I came back to the
States. Thats mostly because, of Enid, the tutor Mom and Dad had gotten
for me. She turned up one summer just after Pd turned eleven and we became
pretty good friends. She was English and about twenty at the time, I guess.
She had a real good idea of what it was like to be a girl out in the
wilderness and no other girls around for hundreds of miles.

I learned about finger fucking from Enid. She called it trigging, which
is what the English sometimes call it, but it was the same thing. I came up
on her in the bushes once, when I was going out to pee, and found her
sprawled out with her shorts down around her ankles and both hands between
her legs. Man, she was really ripping it off! I didnt have the faintest
idea what she was doing, of course, but she was pretty nice about showing
me what was what.

I hadnt even started having periods at that time and my pussy was
still a little, undeveloped thing, but I could make it feel pretty good,
despite all that. She wanted me to do it to her sometimes-I guess she was a
little on the queer side-but I couldnt ever get up my nerve to do that.
Id just sit and rub myself while I watched her drive her fingers up her
cunt. She had thi8 thing about liking to stretch her cunthole-shed stick
in both index fingers and then pull it apart so you could see way up
inside, really exciting to look at. Shed just open it up and let it lose,
open it up and let it close, over and over until, POP! Shed have herself a
nice come going, and then it would be all over with. She told me about a 
lot of other ways and said that I should experiment around with them until
I found the one that made it happen best for me.

Curiously, she didnt say anything about the asshole. I guess that
wasnt very sensitive for her. But I found out about it myself, once I
really got into it and started doing it good. The first time I ever did it
to myself was in the john at a little house we had. This was about six
months before I left for the States and the boarding school, and it was
absolutely the greatest, most exciting, most fulfilling discovery Ive ever
made in my entire life! Id already started having periods by that time,
of course, and Id developed a fairly thick growth of pussy fur and the
lips of my pussy had already grown out pretty well. I dont guess I ever
had a cherry. The first time I ever put my finger in my cunt I rammed it in
up to the palm and I never felt anything remotely resembling a cherry. Ive
heard that most girls dont have them.

Theyre mostly a figment of the guys imaginations, I guess.

Anyway, I was sitting there on the john and finger fucking to beat the
band this particular day. I was in the john because that was the safest
place to be.

Since there was only the one bedroom in the cabin, I couldnt do it in
bed or else Mom and Dad would hear me when I started to come. I wasnt
having a whole lot of luck that afternoon and it seemed like the come was
locked up some place way deep in my cunt. Nothing I could do would get it
out. Finally I stopped gouging and just sat there, letting my fingers
wander around all over the lips of my pussy.

Id already found out that that little patch of meat just to the rear
of my cunt was pretty lively-you know, that spot between the cunt and the
asshole. I was rubbing that, along with my clit, sort of working back and
forth between them, and all of a sudden I asked myself, Why not? I mean,
why not try sticking my finger in my, ass? As soon as the thought hit me I
was gone. There wasnt a thing in the world 1 could do about it! Man; it
was positively the most exciting idea Id ever had and I didnt waste any
time in getting to it.

My fingers were already plenty slippery, from having been in my cunt.
Even though I couldnt come, Id gotten myself hot enough that I was plenty
wet and juicy. That finger slipped in just as easy as pie! And oh my, what
a nice feeling! It was at least as sensitive as my cunt and when I thought
of what Mom would say if she could see me sitting there and finger fucking
my own asshole, I just curled up inside. Well, I just drove the finger in
good and deep and kept it there while I rubbed another finger over my clit.
I couldnt bear to move my finger around inside my ass very much, it hurt
so much, but by just leaving it there and keeping it still I managed to get
myself a really first-class come out, of it.

As soon as the come hit me, I knew that Id stumbled onto something
really big. I didnt dare even think about it much, it affected me so, but
I just knew deep down inside that Id graduated into the real big leagues.
From the way Mom had always talked, I knew that it was wrong to play with 
your asshole and that it was a very nasty part of your body but hell, there
were times when I just couldnt keep from doing it to myself. It always
really knocked me for a loop, fingering myself in the butt, but there were
times when I just seemed to be all knotted up inside and there wasnt any
way I could keep from doing it to myself that way. I dont know quite what
it was that made me do it, or why. I could come so much more strongly with
my finger in my ass.

It sure wasnt just because of the extra pleasure! Why, there were
times when I felt so bad about doing it that way that I thought about
running away or maybe even trying suicide or something like that. Why,
there were times I could almost cry, I felt so bad about the things I did
to myself! I just knew that I was turning into a queer; or some kind of
pervert, but in spite of all that, Id still win4 up sitting in the john
about once a month and gouging hell out of my fanny.

Starting to date when I was in boarding school didnt help either. It
was a pretty classy school, I guess, and just about all the girls were
really into sex. My roommate, Lois, was one of the worst of the lot. She
was from a really rich New York family and she had just about every kind of
hang-up there is. She used to tell me that she hated to tuck, but that even
more she hated not doing it. So she usually wound up with a prick up her
cunt. I dont know what her problem was but she used to do her studying
with a book in one hand and her pussy in the other! Well, Lois found, out
that I sometimes finger fucked myself in the ass. I couldnt keep it from
her. It just came out one day when we were talking about what wed done in
the sex line. She wanted to know if Id ever let a guy tuck me there. Wow!
Id barely even let guys get their cocks up my cunt, I was that green, but
I had let a couple of guys screw me. It hadnt done amp; whole lot for me,
partly because well, I guess I was just too used to doing it my own way.

The more I thought about what Lois had said, the more, hung up I
became. I mean, there was part of me that was saying Do it! and then
there was another part of me that was saying Dont! So I was pulled in
both directions at once.

I wanted to and I didnt. I knew that it was terribly wrong and that
people shouldnt do it that way but, at the same time, I really wanted to
take a fellow that way. I just couldnt get the thought out of my mind-the
idea of a medium-sized cock sliding into my ass, filling me full of hard
meat an4 then shooting come in way deep. That really turned me on. There
were times when Id turn into jelly it seemed, just by letting thoughts
like that run through my mind.

Ill always believe that Lois clued that guy in, the first time I ever
got tucked in the asshole. See, she and Id gone up to this college for a
weekend date with- a couple of guys that she knew pretty well. She was
already thick with both of them and she told me all about Ricky, the guy I
was supposed to be dating for the weekend

He doesnt have a really big prick, she told me, but that thing is
just made of solid steel! He can pump all night if he wants to and never 
let a drop of come out. Youll really have a ball with him. And he just
loves eating a girls cunt out!

With a recommendation like that, you can bet that I was looking forward
to the weekend with mixed emotions. Lois made it crystal clear that she was
going only because of Tim, the other guy. He had a cock the size of a post,
it seemed, and she was always red hot to take on the biggest guy around.
Neither one of us said anything about doing it in the ass, but I still
think shed already told Ricky to try me out that way. I was mostly
wondering what it would be like to have a guy eating my pussy. I hadnt
ever had a fellow do that to me before.

The weekend was about like any of twenty or thirty others that I went
on while I was in boarding school-a football game, a dance, a couple of
parties. And a lot of sex mixed in between all that other stuff. It was a
pretty busy time.

The first chance Ricky and I got, we slipped off and started making out.
Just like Lois said, he was really hot to go down on me and I well, I
thought it was pretty good. Especially when he started licking my asshole!
Yeah, he was rubbing his tongue over the opening and trying to stick it in
me! That really knocked me out and when he switched around I just couldnt
say no to him. I laid there and watched while he ran his cock into my cunt
to get it slippery and then well, he just shot that cock right up my
asshole! I guess all the practice Id already had, doing myself with my
finger, was enough to loosen me up for him. Anyway, I didnt have any
trouble at all in getting him inside me.

I reached down to make sure that he really was going into my ass and
there wasnt a bit of doubt about it. His cock was right in the middle of
my ass! I was already about half silly it felt so damned -good, and then I
started fingering my ditty and cunt while he was fucking my ass pretty
hard. God, it was just out of sight, all that feeling mixed in together and
with me thinking all the time, Ive done it now Ive got a guy in my ass! I
was lying on my back with my legs up in the air, so I couldnt move too
much, but I could squeeze my asshole-you just bear down, as if you were
trying to shit- and that made it real good for Ricky.

Great tucking! he told me. Youve got the greatest asshole in the
world!

Fuck it then, I told him. Fuck my ass- hole! Fuck-the shit out of
me!

He did it. Man, I was just coming all over and when I felt him let go
with his come it was simply incredible, the way my clit and cunt and
asshole all started working together and making it better than ever!

Judy C. the source of the case history considered in this Chapter, came
to our attention through the alertness of a colleague conducting
sensitivity training sessions for business executives and certain selected
employees of the firms employing those executives. Judy was personal
secretary to the advertising director of a very large company. During the
training session, which her employer did not attend, Judy admitted that she
was- having an affair with her boss and they frequently resorted to anal
intercourse. Certain other statements which she made during the training
session caused the director to refer her to us. She subsequently agreed to
cooperate with our research.

Judys fascination with anal sex can be understood by referring back to
her earlier years. The reader may already have noticed how often her early
sexual experiences were associated in some way with bathrooms or with
defecation and urination. Her first sight of her parents lovemaking, for
example, came when she peeped under a lavatory into the connecting
bathroom. She also mentioned that the bathroom frequently served her
parents as a place in which to make love. Furthermore, when she saw her
parents m4ing love for the first time, her father was sitting on the
toilet, exactly as if he were defecating. Her own initial explorations of
her vulva and her subsequent attempts at masturbation came in the bathroom.
Her introduction to masturbation, via the imported tutor, came as she was
searching for a suitable spot outdoors in which to urinate.

Small wonder, then, that Judy came to associate sexuality with the
bathroom and with voiding.

These circumstances only disposed the girl toward anal sexuality; they
did not force her in that direction. Other factors must also be considered
in explaining this development in her personality. The mothers anxiety
about toilet facilities at the camps where they lived would have made the
girl highly conscious of urination and defecation as functions. The mother
also cautioned the girl not to stray too far from the cabin or tent, lest
she fall into the clutches of a rapist. Probably the mothers fears were
exaggerated but, here again, it can be seen that anxieties of this sort
might easily lead the girl to associate the toilet with the sexual act. The
mother seems to have held the old-fashioned notion that toilet functions
were dirty and nasty. The fact that she harped about them constantly
suggests that the mother herself had problems in this area.

Psychoanalysts frequently distinguish between anal and urinary
eroticism. The distinction is well taken in Judys case; she seems to have
reserved her sexual interest for the anus alone and to have ignored the
urinary function completely. Children frequently lump the two together in a
rough and ready fashion, deriving erotic excitement from both. With the
approach to puberty, and the development of the ideal emotions, both
excretory functions alike normally recede into the background and neither
is likely to be, as it frequently was before, a deliberate source of
pleasurable interest. That new influence, however, works unequally on the
two functions, powerfully on the bowel activity, which is felt to be
dirty, more weakly on the vesicle activity, to which the same objection
cannot be made, and which has about it nothing unaesthetic. Hence it is
that some degree of urethral eroticism is regarded as coming within the
normal sphere, while anal eroticism can only so be brought in when it is
held apart from the action of the bowels and confined to the sensitivity of
the anus itself. (Ellis, Studies in the Psychology of Sex, II, Part 2, pp 
426427.) Ellis does not claim that this summary explains every case of anal
eroticism, but it helps us understand Judys case better. She kept her
fascination with the defecator act, and especially with the anus. The
reason for this, we suspect, is associated with her relations with her
younger brother. It will be noted that her earliest memories of that
brother were not pleasant. He was not a planned child; doubtless the dismay
of the parents was partly transmitted to the daughter, who also experienced
the loss of the parents affections. Thus she harbored a long-standing
resentment of her brother. She seems to have generalized this resentment to
some extent and to have transferred it to men in general, as we shall see
in a moment. Here the principal concern is to suggest her resentment of her
young brother as a source of future guilt.

We suspect that Judys excursions into anal sexuality can best be
understood as a way of punishing herself for her resentment of her
brother. She had plenty of reason to associate her buttocks with that
brother. The only spanking she ever received came after she had attempted
to perform fellatio upon him. It seems quite probable that she felt bad
about her resentment of his presence, however understandable that feeling
might be, and that she conceived of anal eroticism as a way of punishing
herself for those feelings. There is no doubt that she saw anal sex as
dirty and degrading. Far from rejecting it on those grounds, she was all
the more willing to engage in it.

Judys language is also relevant to his consideration of her emotional
makeup.

The reader will doubtless have noted her free use of vulgarisms,
especially of words and phrases denoting the anus and its functions. This
language is highly significant, according to one of the most respected
figures in recent psychoanalytic thinking: The frequent and casual use of
four-letter words by some women, especially of expressions denoting sexual
and excretory functions, is rarely characteristic of a low level of
upbringing and education. In most cases it is an unconscious travesty or
parody of men and their manners and reveals a concealed and often repressed
hostility to the male. (Theodor Reik, The Need to Be Loved, p. 146.)
Judys casual use of vulgarisms can thus be interpreted as suggesting a
lingering dislike of men-perhaps a hangover from her resentment of her
younger brother-and thus her use of them as vehicles for performing anal
sexual acts would further make those acts repulsive and degrading to her.
In this way, her underlying guilt feelings could thus be assuaged all the
more easily. Although she periodically swore off anal sex and vowed to
devote herself to a more orthodox life style, she could never live up to
her resolutions. Periodically she would feel impelled to give in to a man,
and would then embark upon a series of escapades Involving anal sex. There
is little doubt that these sessions served primarily to relieve her of her
accumulated guilt feelings.

That first time, when I got that Rickys cock up my asshole and let him
fuck me until he shot his come in there that just turned me around like 
Ive never been affected before. You know, there are some things that only
affect you a little and some others that just totally blow your mind? Well,
getting Rickys prick up my ass was definitely the other kind of thing!
Man, I just went wild, especially when I felt him start to come. Id felt
guys shoot off in my cunt before and Id held their pricks when theyd shot
their nuts off but this, this was just another world! 1 dont know, I think
maybe it was just the idea of him being in my ass and squirting his come up
there, mixing it with my shit, that turned me on so much. Anyway, I know
that after it was over I staggered into the bathroom-we were in the
schools gym, hidden out in a little room he knew about-and sat down on the
john to have a crap. As soon as I started forcing the turd out, the come
started rolling too and I just started coming all over again, without even
touching myself at all! That was a Saturday morning that Ricky and I had
our first butt fucking session. It sort of knocked him out too because he
didnt act very horny till late that afternoon. I was just totally
disgusted with myself, even though Id come like anything, and I really
didnt want to have any more to do with him.

But what the hell, I was there for the weekend and Id already let him
do it to me once, so what could I do? That afternoon he came on pretty
strong and wanted some more, so I agreed to take a walk with him and, of
course, it was a walk in the woods. Thank God the weather was mice. This
was in the spring-April, I think-and it was fairly warm. Otherwise I might
have died of pneumonia! S As soon as we got out of sight of the campus he
started in on me. He hadnt fooled me any. I knew that he wanted to fuck
some more, probably in my ass, and I I was going into that hung-up frame
of mind all over again. You know, I wanted to and I didnt want to? That
kind of feeling. But as Ive already said, Id done it once before with
him, that very morning, and I didnt see how I could back out without
making him feel awful. So I agreed and we ducked back into the bushes.

This time it was just straight sex. No romance, no kissing, nothing but
just a pure, all-out fuck! The leaves were still pretty damp and soggy and
Ricky didnt have a blanket or anything, so we didnt try to do it lying
down.

Instead, he just got me down on all fours and crawled on behind me. It
was the first time Id ever done it dog-fashion, either in my ass or in my
cunt, and I sort of liked it. Though it wasnt nearly as exciting as when I
was facing him and could look down and see his big cock going into me. He
spat on the head of his prick so it would go in easy and then he just
reamed me out! It was just like the first time. I hated myself for enjoying
it but the sensations were so incredibly good that I couldnt have made him
stop, no matter what had been going on.

Well, you can be sure that little Ricky didnt keep his news to
himself.

Within a couple of weeks I believe that everyone in my boarding School
and all the guys in the better colleges in that part of the country were
aware of how well I liked a prick Everywhere I went, I got these funny 
looks and propositions from guys that wanted to see what it was like,
running their cocks up a girls asshole. Several of them were very frank
about it. One guy even said that hed like to try it and see if a girls
asshole was any different from a guys! I guess hed been working the gay
side for a while and maybe wanted to change his luck.

After a reception like that, I was just furious with Ricky for having
blabbed about it, but it was too late then. I didnt date another boy for a
month. I just stayed at the school and occasionally Id finger fuck
myself, almost always in the ass, but otherwise I tried to live like a nun.
There were times when I really hated myself for letting Ricky fuck me in
the ass. But then there were other times when I thought Id have to tie
myself in the room to keep from running out and grabbing the first man I
saw and making him give it to me that way!  Its a good thing I didnt
stay at that boarding school past the spring, when I got my first taste of
that kind of sex. I got out and tried a couple of years of college, but it
turned out to be a total failure too. I dont know what the problem was. I
just couldnt seem to settle down and keep my nose in those books. Part of
it was the sex, I know that. It seemed that, as I grew older, I wanted it
more and more. I mean, I wanted to do it the way I had with Ricky, with the
guy going into my ass.

I was lucky that I didnt have to stay in college. I was spending
Easter vacation at Atlanta, where I was staying with some friends Of Mom
and Dads, and when I mentioned that I was utterly sick to death of college
and books and all that, the man asked me why didnt I go to work? I hadnt
really given it much thought, except to guess that I wouldnt be able to
get anything very interesting. You know, I hadnt gotten my degree and all
that. But I found out that there are a lot of good jobs around where you
dont need a degree at all.

Like the one Ive got now, for example.

This fellow mentioned my name to a few people he knew and this company
agreed to take me on as a trainee for personal secretary to the bigwigs.
Really, you dont have to know much about typing or shorthand to do that
kind of job. They mostly want somebody with a nice figure and a pleasant
voice to answer their telephone, fix them a drink, announce other bigwigs
and generally give the office a little tone.

I didnt know when I started the, training program that one of my
duties would be to handle the bosss sex drive. Apparently it works out
different for different girls. Some of them, I know, pimp for their bosses.
You know arrange to get him dates with other girls wholl give him what he
wants, things like that. Jeff, my boss, has never asked me to do anything
like that. Hell, hes smooth enough that he can go out and get all the ass
he wants! I must have worked for him six months before he made his first
pass at me. It was right after hed spent a long afternoon in conference
with the absolute top brass of the company. He came back from the
conference just beat, and I fixed him a drink. We sat down in his office
and began to talk and before I knew it, my heart was going out to him. 
Maybe it was a misplaced material impulse or something like that but, for a
change, I really related to a man. I mean, I saw him as a human being and
not just something I could use to make me feel good.

That was a new experience for me and I didnt quite know what to make of
it.

We ended up going out for dinner. He called his wife and made some kind
of excuse. It didnt have to be very good because they didnt get along
very well.

I dont even know why he bothered calling. If Id been his wife, Id
have known for sure that he was getting his ass somewhere else, the way he
behaved! Well, as you might expect, we ended up back at my apartment. It
wasnt too long before it was time for bed. We were really pretty hot for
each other.

Once we got into the bedroom and got our clothes off, he just fell over
onto the bed, rolling onto his back and laying there. He wasnt even hard,
which sort of put me off a little. I was used to guys getting it up by
themselves, you know. It was a little unusual, getting naked with a guy and
then finding his cock still limp.

Youll have to get me hard, he told me. Do you like to suck?

I dont mind it, I said to him. In fact I sort of like L Ive never
had a man get hard in my mouth before. Maybe itll be something really
groovy. To be truthful about it, Id never felt a man get hard at all. As
far as I knew they must had hard cocks all the time, though of course I
understood that this wasnt so. It was just that Id only seen them in
situations where they were getting ready to use their pricks. I stood there
for a minute, just looking at him, and then I knelt down on the bed beside
him so I could lean over and start kissing his prick.

Get your legs over me, he said. Id like to eat your pussy while
youre sucking me up..

Jeffs always had this thing about liking to talk real dirty to me
while were balling. That startled me at first, because ordinarily he never
says anything at all out of line. When were messing around and getting
ready for sex, though, its like he becomes a completely different man.

I havent had a bath since this morning, I reminded him. I felt like
coming right out and saying that Id been pissing through my pussy all day
but I figured he could work that out by himself. 4Are you sure you want me
like this?

Youll be just right, he said. Id rather eat a pussy thats been
mellowing for a while. Come on, Judy, get over me and let me get my tongue
in you!

That settled it for me. If he wanted me just the way I was, who was I
to argue with him? I climbed aboard and settled my snatch right over his
face; He spent a little time just admiring my crack, kissing my thighs and
opening up the lips with his fingers. All the while, in between kisses, he
was telling me what a great looking pussy I had. Nobody had ever
complimented me on my box before and I sort of took to the things he was 
saying about me.

Funny, but I didnt even give a thought to whether his prick might be
clean or not. I guess Ill have to be truthful and admit that I was about
like him. Id much rather suck a man twelve hours, or even a day, after
hes bathed. Theres something about the idea of working my tongue down
into that little pee-hole, knowing that hes been using it that really
turns me on. Not that Ive ever been able to detect the taste of piss. It
isnt that kind of turn-on at all.

How about this? he asked me, and then he started running his tongue
around my asshole.

Jesus! I never thought hed want to do that to me! When I found out
that he had interest in the butt, I just about creamed right in his face.
Yeah, I was about to go wild there and hed just barely started working on
me! Ah, you do like it, he said, and then he gave a little laugh. I was
hoping youd be the kind who likes this Sort of play.

God, be careful, I told him. That just kills me. It makes me want to
come all over! Dont make me come yet. I want to save it and do it with
you!

Ill be careful, he promised. Ill just tease you along and get you
ready to pop. I dont want you creaming yet. His cock was starting to get
some life in it and that was just out of sight, feeling it get stiff and
growing in my mouth. Talk about something sexy, that was just about the
most exciting thing Id ever felt. Jeff wasnt satisfied with just licking
my asshole, by the way. After hed worked it over with his tongue for a
while, he started playing games with his finger. Ugghh! I nearly died it
felt so good when he fingered me good and deep! And when he tongued my clit
at the same time that he was ramming that finger in, I just went all to
pieces. 

Youve got to fuck me, I whimpered. I cant take it any more. Ive
got to have your prick! Ive got to have it inside me!

Where do you want it? he asked me. Shall I fuck you in the asshole?
Is that how you want it?

You know its how I want it, I told him. I love to feel a man going
in my ass!

Except that I was just a little worried about him. Once Id sucked him
up to a hard, it turned out that he really had a dick on him! He was far
and, away the biggest man Id ever had and I was a little afraid that he
might tear something, trying to get all that big tool into my butt.

Dont worry, he said. He was shrewd enough to see that I was a
little scared of taking his big cock. Ill be careful with you. I wont
hurt you. I want it, I told him, but Im afraid of it. Ive never bad a
thing that big in my ass before. But I want it. I really do!

Youll have it, he answered. Just concentrate on relaxing and
everything will go smooth, I promise. Just lie there and make yourself
comfortable. Relax and spread your legs out wide. Ill do the rest.

He was as good as his word Ill say that for him. I suppose hed gotten
a lot of practice at screwing women in the rear, though Im not sure where
hed gotten it. Some of the things he said made me wonder if maybe his
wife didnt like it that way, but then he said so the other things, after
wed gotten to know each other better, that made me think maybe she was
really opposed to him doing it that way. Whatever the answer is, he sure
knew how to go about it and make it good for a girl! To start off with, he
put his cock up my cunt. That was just to get it- good and slippery, he
said, and Ill have to admit that I was as juicy as Id ever been. Lord,
just thinking about getting my asshole around that big pole of his made me
want to Furl up and die! He used his finger, too, to dip into my cunt and
smear the drippings over my ass and lubricate the mouth a little. As soon
as hed done that I was so close to coming I knew I couldnt hold it back.

Youve done it to me, I whispered, trying to hold it back until he
could get it in me. Im going to come. I just cant keep from coming now!
Your finger was enough to drive me up the wall!

Hold on, Judy, he said, reaching down to aim his cock up to the mouth
of my ass, Ill have it in you in a minute and then well both come!
Youve really got me worked up. I know Ill shoot my balls off as soon as I
feel your ass slip around me!

Hurry, get it in, I moaned, biting my lip and trying to keep the come
back for just another minute.

I was so intent on getting him into my asshole that I forgot all about
him being so big. That made me relax, I suppose, and it wasnt any trouble
at all getting him in. His tool went in just as easy, as if it were going
in my cunt, and from then on it was just one great long stream of pleasure.
Oh, I really had myself a time, laying there and letting that good feeling
roll all over me when he started driving his cock home. Just as he said, he
started shooting come as soon as the rim of my asshole popped around the
head of his dick and that made him all the more anxious to get more of it
inside me.

Lord, he just drew back and fucked my ass till I thought sure it was
going to fall off! I was coming from the moment his prick started spreading
the mouth of my ass, all the way down to the time he finally stopped
squirting the come in me, and when he finally fell on me and lay still, I
just felt totally drained.

That first time with Jeff, I think, was about the only time Ive ever
done anything with a man and didnt really hate myself at the very instant
that it was all happening. Of course, after it was all over and hed taken
his cock out of my ass, then I started feeling terrible. But that first
moment, when he was just getting it into me, I just felt as though I were
doing something halfway nice. I dont think I ever felt quite that way
before or since.

There amp; one thing about letting guys fuck you in the ass-every time
Ive tried it, the guys been so totally whipped by it that its just one
time around and thats it for them. Before I started making them flick me
in the ass, back when I didnt know anything but screwing the regular way, 
some of those fellows would go two or three times without ever taking their
pricks out. You know, theyd fuck till they came the first time, then
they'd lay there for a little while and -then theyd start in again and
fuck some more. It sure isnt that way when theyre in my ass. Then its
just one time and theyre done. I guess its got something to do with it
being so much better back there. 

Anyway, whatever the explanation is, Jeff was finished after that one
time.

Its just as well that he was because Im not sure I could have taken
him again. His prick is awfully big, long and thick, and I was fairly sore
the next morning. It didnt keep me from going to work, of course, but Im
just as glad there wasnt any strenuous activity connected with the job!
Jeff acted as though nothing had happened, except for a moment or two when
we were alone.

Then he let me know that he thought it had been wonderful. That made me
feel good because, by that time, I was really getting down inside myself
and feeling awful about the way Id behaved with him.

We must have gone on for almost a week, acting perfectly normal toward
each other. Hes in his mid-forties and I imagine he doesnt want a woman
quite as much as he once did. Thats nice for me. I dont think I could
stand it if he wanted me all the time. Most of the time we are about like
any executive and his secretary are supposed to be-businesslike and
efficient. Im sure, now that I know him better that he sensed the way I
felt about it all and that he was deliberately holding himself back. Hes
very sensitive, you know, and he can really adapt himself to another
persons moods.

Sure enough, it wasnt very long until I could feel that old desire
building up inside me again. Usually it starts as sort of a gnawing ache,
very small, but then it just keeps on building until Im dying to fuck,
ready to do almost anything to get rid of that terrible want between my
legs. I tried to hide it and to get by with finger fucking myself but that
just wouldnt work. Once Id had the best, it was hard to settle for
something a lot less significant! Jeff must have seen the way I was being
bothered because he was the one who got to me -I didnt go to him. It
happened after work one day, a day when Id barely been able to get around,
I was so hung up and so horny. When I went into his office to say good-bye
for the day, he just looked at me in that peculiar way of his and I could
feel my pussy starting to crawl.

Close the door and come here, he told me.

I did and he started loving me. We didnt have to worry about anyone
interrupting us. No one ever goes into an executives office without
knocking first. We were almost naked when I got this brainstorm of mine. I
guess seeing Jeffs cock-he was rock hard this time-made me think of it, or
maybe it was something else. Anyway, I suggested that we go into his john
and do our fucking there. He thought it was a nice idea and, as soon as he
was stripped, in we went! He sat on the stool and let me sit over him. I 
started to do it facing him but then I turned around and backed down onto
him, first putting my cunt over his cock to get it slippery enough and then
getting off and moving forward just enough that his prod would dip right
into my asshole. It wasnt until Id already made the switch that I
realized what Id done-I was get ting flicked in exactly the same waythat. Mom was getting it from Dad that time that I saw them in their
bathroom! When I realized that, I just about shit all over myself, it was
so sexy, and then I reached down to grab hold of my pussy and, man, it was
just Come City from then on. I just had myself a perfectly wonderful time
with that big cock of my boss up my ass!

One might assume, from reading the second portion of Judys case
history, that she had come to view her relations with men in a slightly
different light and that her relations with Jeff were more nearly normal
than the earlier affairs into which her guilt had driven her. We must
caution the reader against drawing an overly hasty conclusion. Judys
behavior still shows strong evidence of her fundamental distaste for the
acts to which she was driven. This distaste is quite apparent in her
account of their love play inside Jeffs bathroom. She mentioned that at
first she started to sit on him with her face toward him but that she
turned and presented her back to him. This change is highly significant, as
we can see from Albert Elliss conclusion that a man, who feels so guilty
about having intercourse with any woman that he is afraid to look her in
the eye while having it, and consequently always enters her vagina from the
rear, is a distinct sex neurotic or deviate-even though he is engaging in a
sex act that under most circumstances would not in the least be berated or
perverted. (Ellis, Art and Science of Love, p. 227.) While Dr. Elliss
words applied to males and vaginal intercourse, we can easily see that the
basic contention would also hold when we consider the case of a woman
addicted to anal sexual acts. Despite the slight change in her verbal
attitudes, Judys essential loathing for anal sex continues, as does her
need to be symbolically punished and degraded for her imagined offenses of
long ago.

CHAPTER FOUR

Geraldine B.

Got a date tonight? Helen asked me as we walked out to the parking lot
after another day in the secretarial pool.

Yeah, Im going bowling with Harry, I told her.

Harry? That creep? Jeez, what a washout he was when he took me out!

Oh, youve been out with him, huh? What was he like?

Hes all right, I guess, except that hes not much good for anything
except bowling and dancing, Helen said. When it comes to loving, he just 
cant get up to the mark. Of course, with you he might be different, but
thats the way I found him.

What was the problem? I asked.

Helens one of my best friends and usually we just let it hang out all
the way together; we dont hold anything back. Ive found thats the best
way to be when its just girls together, especially when the subject is
guys. You can find out a lot that you need to know from other girls, and
sometimes they can save you a lot of grief. Helens a big, busty blonde and
she really gives all the guys a workout. I guess shes dated just about
every one of the, salesmen that work through our pool and some of the big
shot executives too. Shes modern enough to know that they arent taking
her out because of her fine mind or anything like that and I think she sort
of enjoys getting a lot of attention from guys-especially the kind of
attention that ends up with her getting in bed with them! Hes just a
shrimp, she told me. I mean, like hardly anything at all!

You mean between his legs? I asked.

Where else? Oh, hes hip enough, she said. You know, about going down
on a girl and all that, but he just doesnt have the site I like in a guy.
Hey, you know something? I said, looking at her with surprise. I never
thought about that. It really makes a difference, doesnt it? I mean, how
big a guy is down there? Honey, it makes all the difference in the
world, she said, giving me that woman-to-woman look that told me she was
really leveling with me. A little guy, hes all right, I guess, till
youve had a real man in that little hole.

Then you really start to see what its all about!

Now you might think Im putting you on, but when Helen and I had that
little talk I really didnt know it made that much 6f a difference. Of
course, up until that time I hadnt really had much experience with any guy
that was very big down there. I was nineteen -then, fresh out of business
school and Ill admit that I had a lot to learn about things. I sure wasnt
any virgin. Id let a guy stick it to me when I was sixteen, and since that
time Id gotten serious with seven or eight guys, I suppose. But it didnt
last long with any of them.

I knew now that they didnt get really worked up about me because I
didnt know how to do it; and I never got much fun out of it.

The evening with Harry turned out to be one of the most educational
events of my entire life. Not because Harry showed me anything. He was just
about the way. Helen said he was. But that was the first time that I ever
really paid much attention to a guy, or to what I was doing with him. Later
that night, after wed left Harrys place and hed dropped me off at my
efficiency, I started thinking about what all wed done and I realized that
Helen was right: he didnt have much between his legs! I didnt get out a
tape and measure him or anything like that but when I was jacking him off,
trying to get him bard enough for fucking, I took a good close look at what
I bad in my band. I tiled to guess about how much of it was sticking out of
my palm and later, when I was back at my place, I did a little measuring.

The way I figured it, Harry had about five and a half or maybe six
inches of prick. Now I knew damned well, from listening to girls at the
office, that this wasnt a whole lot. I didnt know what was big, though,
and I put it to Helen the first chance I got.

How big is big? I asked her. "I mean, when youre talking about a
guys cock?

How big do they get?

Ah, you noticed what I was talking about! she said triumphantly, a
big smile on her face.

Helen told me a lot about guys and how they can differ so much. Like,
maybe one guy wont be very long but hell have a real thick one and then
another guy might be really long, maybe eight or nine inches, but he
wouldnt be any bigger around than Harrys is.

The real studs, though, are the ones that have it both long and thick,
she told me, and you could tell from the look in her eyes that she really
liked that kind the best. A guy like that, you can really tell it when ho
starts putting the meat to you!

Doesnt it hurt, having a guy that big? I asked. I mean, that would
be almost twice as long as Harrys prick and.a lot bigger around. What
would happen if he drew back and really shoved it all in you at once?

Geraldine, honey, its just the greatest feeling in the world, she
told me.

Oh, it might hurt a. little, especially if he puts it in you a little
too soon, before youre really warmed up and ready to take it, but believe
me, its the kind of hurt a girl can really learn to love!

I was just aching to ask her which one of the guys at the office had
the biggest prick; but I was ashamed to let her know how much I wanted to
try it out. I just said something about like youd expect me to say. Ill
have Jo think about it, or something dippy like that-and started talking
about something else.

Besides, I didnt want to mention it but I had a pretty good idea of
where I could find a guy that just might fit the requirements. See, I
happen to live in a kind of ratty neighborhood and theres this one guy who
hangs around there that drives this great, huge motorcycle. Hes not a real
Hells Angel, or anything bad like that, I dont think, but hes a little
flashier than most of the guys I know.

Hed let me know several times that he was interested, and when I got
to thinking about it, it seemed that I could remember seeing a really big
lump in the front of his jeans. You know, about where his prick would be.
And that got me started to thinking that he might have a really big one. I
wont say that I went right out with the idea of making it with this guy
but on the other hand, I did keep my eyes open! Sure enough, it wasnt
long before I ran into this guy and he was just as brassy as ever. He was
lounging against his cycle when I walked by. He made some kind of wisecrack
and instead of ignoring him, like I usually did, I stopped and answered
him. Well, one thing led to another and the way it came out was, I agreed 
to go riding with him the next day which was Saturday.

Saturday rolled around and I went out to the filling station where hed
asked me to meet him. I was wearing a pair of jeans. When he came roaring
up, I hopped on the back and off we went. Man that was really something;
straddling that big machine and feeling it roar and hum between my legs!
That was sort of sexy itself; just having my box sitting so close to that
great big engine. He went fast- as hell, of course, and I hung on for dear
life. That only got me a little more turned on because by grabbing on, I
pushed my breasts into his back. And that always turns me on, rubbing my
nipples into a guy. Theyre pretty sensitive and almost anything touching
them will usually get me into a raunchy mood.

He drove up into the hills back of the neighborhood where we lived and
then we turned off onto a little dirt road, getting way far back into the
woods. I was pretty sure that he wasnt taking me up there to admire the
scenery and, sure enough, he parked the bike after a while and started
talking sex to me.

We were off the bike and leaning against it. I deliberately shoved my
boobies out, making them press against my shirt so theyd stand out better.
And it had an effect on him. I looked down at the front of his jeans out of
the corner of my eye, and wow! This guy looked like hed rolled up the
Sunday newspaper and shoved it.down his pants! It was just something else!
As soon as I saw that great, huge thing bulging out the front of his jeans
I knew I had to have it.

AS it turned out, I would have gotten it whether I wanted it or not.
This guy-his name was Jerry-was dead set on giving it, to me. And I guess
it would have been a rape scene if I hadnt been so willing to go ahead. I
ran my hand down over that lump and he told me to open up his jeans and
start playing with it. I did. And as soon as I had his pants down around
his thighs I started wondering if maybe I hadnt gotten more than Id
bargained for. Harry, you know, I could hold his rod in one hand and there
would be an inch or 80 of stiff meat sticking out of either end. Jerry,
though, I could grab him with both hands and there was still some left
over. It was the biggest one Id ever seen! What do you think about that?
he asked, as I rolled the skin back and forth over the head.

That thing was made for fucking, you know!

I know it, I said, hardly able to believe I was seeing something real.
Gee, I never had one this big before! Its liable to tear me in two!

Nah, itll just make you feel good, he said. I bet you got a lot of
stretch in that cunt of yours!

Nobody had ever said anything like that to me before. I mean, theyd
never just come right out and said words like cunt to my face. Usually
Id have been offended. But this time, it just made me a little hornier. I
guess I just like being talked to that way. Jerry must have noticed because
he really started laying it on the line.

Yeah, Im gonna have you pull them jeans off, he said, grabbing a
handful of my hair and pulling my face back. And then Im gonna lay your 
ass down on them pine needles over there and shove this tool up your cunt.
And you know something? Youre gonna love it. Youre gonna get yourself
fucked till your tongue hangs out!

Just hearing that seemed to make me twice as horny! I pulled away from
him and started opening up the front of my shirt. He just stood there and
watched while I pulled off mf shirt and bra. I started opening up my jeans.
I hadnt worn any panties and his eyes got this squinty, concentrated look
when I unzipped the jeans and pulled them down enough for him to see that I
was naked underneath.

Thats what youve got waiting for you! I said, standing up so he
could see my bush and get a glimpse of the slit. Ill wrap my pussy around
your cock and drain your balls!

Actually I was just saying that. Once Id gotten a look at his sack I
wasnt sure if I could ever drain him. I mean, you could have dropped a
couple of baseballs in that sack of his and it wouldnt have been much
bigger! I finished skinning out of my jeans and spread them out on the pine
needles. Then I got down on them and spread my legs out real wide. I
started messing around with the lips of my pussy, pinching them together
and running a finger up into my cunt. That really got him. And he just took
a dive, almost, landing right in the middle of me.

Get that hand out of the way, he snorted. I can put it in myself!

All I wanted to do was just spread the lips out wide and make sure all
the cunt hairs were out of the way. I had a guy ram it in me once and a
hair got caught. Talk about something that hurt! Jerry wasnt having any of
that though.

He just piled on and started humping. The first jab or two missed and I
thought sure he was going to drill me a new cunt, or maybe just do it
outside me. But then he moved a little and it went right in between the
lips. Man! Did I ever know that Id been stabbed by a man! It felt like I
was just being sliced open! He rammed in a good -bit of his cock on that
first shove. As much as Id ever had inside me. I could really tell when he
started working on the part where nobody had ever been before. It was like
that part of my cunt was a lot tighter and he just pried it apart. He
didnt give a damn about what I was feeling, or whether I liked it or
anything. He just wanted to get more of my cunt wrapped around that big
thing. He kept on ramming it in further and further. Just digging as hard
as he could and grunting like a man doing pushups. Finally, after hed
banged it in right to the bottom, he pulled it out and straightened up so
he could lay it against my belly.

Grab it! he said. Grab it with your hand and jack me off so I can see
the come on your belly!

I was really shook up by that. But I guess I was so stunned by it all
that I couldnt take time to think. So, I did it. He was so big, so hard
and of course be was real slick from all the juice in my cunt. So, I just
wrapped my fist around it and started working. The head of his cock was in
the palm of my hand and when he started shooting his nuts off it squirted 
all over my band. He made me take my hand away and let it shoot out onto
my tummy. It got all over me, even up onto my boobs. And he seemed to like
that a lot.

He just hung there for a minute after his prick had stopped squirting.
And then be told me to rub the head of his dick into a big puddle of cream
over my navel. I was sort of getting to enjoy it by then and it was nice,
dipping that big tip into the come and getting it all covered with the
stuff.

Now suck it! he ordered, moving up so it was closer to my face. Lick
that come off, bitch!

I was really scared by then. He had a mean  look on his face and I
knew that if I didnt do just what he said hed beat hell out of me. He was
just the sort that would do it too-real mean and angry. Anyway, the idea
struck me as sort of sexy, and I went ahead and did it. The come didnt
taste so bad, especially since it was flavored with my cunt. And I really
got a bang out of it, once Id gotten over being so scared. The sight of
his dick going in my mouth must have fired him up because in just a minute
or two he started coming again. It wasnt a big one, just a few little
dribbles, but I could feel it pulsing against my tongue and then that
thick, rich stuff started rolling out and I well, I just loved it.

Ill never know why I didnt say something to him about doing it in my
ass, unless maybe it was because I was afraid that getting plunked with one
that big might rupture the opening and really fix me up good. Maybe I was
still too  hung up on it to be able to come right out and mention it to a
fellow. But whatever the reason was, I didnt say anything about it.

You see, Ive known for a long time that my asshole is  the most
sensitive part of me. Oh, maybe not sensitive, but anyway the part that has
the best feeling. I found that out, a long time ago. I think the first time
I realized it was when I was about thirteen, when I was sitting on the
john. Id just found out about guys and what they do to girls. A friend at
school had told me everything about it. And, frankly, I thought it was
pretty wild.

I was pretty constipated at the time and Id sat there a long time
without anything happening. I was thinking about what Lucille had told me,
about her doing it with her boyfriend. And it really got to me. Id been
fingering myself for two or three years. Not that Id ever gotten a really
good come out of it.

But enough to know that I could make myself feel pretty good just by
rubbing my clit. The more I thought about Lucille laying back and letting
Doug-that was her boyfriend, a greasy sort but she was hot for, him-see her
snatch and everything, the hotter I got. And I started rubbing my cit. I
didnt get any orgasm, of course, but it really felt good. I kept it up for
a little while and then I tried to finish up my business and get rid of
that constipation.

Something happened because I really let go with a load! I mean, a butt
buster, as we used to call them, and it nearly tore my ass off sliding 
out.

Lord, what a feeling that was! All of a sudden that turd was rolling out
of me and I felt my clit begin to twitch and throb. And man, I was having
myself a come like Id never even imagined! It just tore me in two, almost,
and when it was over I couldnt do anything but sit there, sort of keeled
over. And wonder what had happened.

That was how I got the idea that my ass was something special. I waited
a day or two; then one evening, while I was lying in bed fingering my clit,
I decided to see if maybe I could get the same feeling by putting something
in instead of letting something out. I mean, I figured if it works one way
maybe itll work the same way in reverse, right? So I started trying to get
a finger up my ass.

It was too dry, of course, so I moistened the finger by running it
through the lips of my pussy. That got it slick enough and it slipped right
in.

Wow-ee! I knew right off that Id stumbled into a gold mine and I just
finger fucked myself into a tizzy! I forgot all about my clit. All I could
think of was working that finger back and forth in my asshole. Every wiggle
of my finger made it better until finally I just about passed out. It was
so good! What made it even better, I think, was remembering how Mom used to
go on so about how she hated changing Billys diapers when he was a baby.
Billy-hes my younger brother-really gave her a lot of trouble on the
toilet training bit and it ran her ragged. I dont know why she popped into
my mind when I was doing that, but I kept wondering just what shed say if
she were to walk into my room and see me there with a finger jammed way up
my asshole. Ill bet that would really have blown her mind but good! I
kept it up for a long time. It seemed that I could make the feeling last
however long I wanted and, since it was so blasted good, I really gave
myself a reaming. The old way- clit rubbing, what Id been used to doingwasnt even in it, compared to this. I must have fucked myself for nearly
an hour that night.

And for almost all of that time I was coming. I simply couldnt get
enough of that wonderful feeling. Finally, when Id nearly worn myself out,
I keeled over and went to sleep.

I didnt forget that experience, though. From then on, every time Ive
gone to the john Ive remembered how good it was. Lots of times I can get a
little come whenever a turd comes out, especially if its a big one, the
kind that really stretches me. It hurts a little, but the hurt isnt
anything compared to the pleasure of feeling my asshole being stretched
out. I guess if Id let Jerry shove his big cock up me, Id just have
died on the spot! All the time I was in high school and business school, I
kept my little secret to myself. None of the girls I knew ever mentioned
their asses, certainly not in the way I liked to use mine. And, as far as I
knew, I was really something special. It wasnt until Id been in business
school here for a few months that I even knew you could fuck in the ass.
Some girl told me about gay men and how they put it to each other that way.
Even then, I never really thought about flicking like that. I guess I just
thought it was something gay guys only did to each other.

Meanwhile, I just kept on doing it to myself with my finger. It got
better and better, the more I thought about it and practiced. And, after a
while, I didnt much care whether a guy tried to screw me or not. I mean, I
hadnt ever had it that good with a guy, so why bother? I went out on dates
a lot but a lot of the time it was just so Id have somebody to go places
with. It sure wasnt for sex! Whenever Id start getting that hungry
feeling-the sort that tells you that youre really up for a nice, long
come-Id just arrange to be at my apartment by myself for  a while and Id
have myself the nicest, juiciest come a girl could ever hope to get! Id
just lay there on my bed and do it till I couldnt move any more, always
just running my finger in and out of my ass.

The only thing was I began to notice after a while that my ass was
getting looser. You know, the finger wasnt stretching me quite as much and
I wasnt feeling it as sharply. First I tried using two fingers and that
worked for a while and then, after that, I began messing around with
candles and vibrators and stuff like that. At the time I had that fuck
scene with Jerry, Id just started doing it with two fingers and of course
he was a lot bigger than that.

And besides, I still hadnt gotten around to knowing that it was
possible.for a man and a woman to fuck that way. So I kept on using my
fingers and the other things Id found to make it for myself.

One thing I got out of that date with Jerry, though, was a nice memory.
You know, I always liked imagining a guy standing in front of me with his
dick and balls hanging out. I mean, while I was doing it to myself. Id
imagine the guy standing there in front of me, just waving his cock at me,
and the idea would make me start tingling all over. But after that date
with Jerry, when he made me jack him off and spray his come all over my
tummy and boobs, I started seeing it different. The guy would be standing
in front of me, but this time hed be, jacking himself off, see, and Id
be fingering my ass, or working the vibrator in and out. And then, just
about the time Id be ready to get my own come, Id see him straighten up
and that cock would start just pumping the cream out, shooting all over my
body! It was just wonderful, imagining that.

And it would make the climax ever so much better for me every time.

Geraldine B- was a twenty-four year old secretary for a local hospital
when she recorded the case history we are presenting here. A tall, radiant
redhead with a good figure, she spoke freely of her sexual history and of
relevant portions of her life. Although her education had been fairly
limited, she had applied herself diligently at the business school which
she had attended, and had earned herself a reputation as a diligent,
conscientious worker.

A widely known writer on sexual problems once noted that anal
intercourse holds an attraction for some men because the rectum is
associated with that which is unclean-thus, the greater the taboo, the 
greater the eroticism. Some women enjoy being subjected to sodomistic
practices because of their strong masochistic component. (Caprio,
Variations in Sexual Behavior, p. 268.) There is no reason to suppose that
men are unique in associating the anus with the unclean. Indeed,
Geraldines case history clearly indicates that she makes just that
association. Her account also shows a strongly masochistic element in her
emotional makeup. That is, she exemplifies a sexual deviation
characterized by an erotic desire to suffer pain or humiliation. (Ibid.,
p.

271.)

A variety of questions immediately came to mind when we begin
considering the information available in Geraldines case history. First we
might ask, how did she come to associate the anus with uncleanness? The
answer, of course, is that she was taught to do so. Her mothers
impatience at having to change diapers for her little brother (an
impatience which she probably registered when Geraldine was an infant too)
must have provided a powerful impetus for Geraldines conclusion that the
anus and defecation were undesirable and unclean. This is not an unusual
attitude in our country, where our drive for cleanliness-especially in, the
bathroom and -its related functions-is so marked.

We must also consider how she came to need physical debasement and
humiliation.

There can be little doubt that she responded ardently to cruel
treatment. Her reaction to being ejaculated upon by Jerry, the motorcycle
rider who subjected her to quasi-rape, shows this only too well. Her
subsequent utilization of the same image, of a man ejaculating upon her
naked body, reinforces the point that shows how effectively the notion
stimulated her. There is a good possibility that she identified a mans
ejaculation with urination. In that case the point could be made all the
stronger.

Psychologists often note that the arrival of a new baby breeds trouble
for any older children in the family. Geraldine never stated that she felt
rejected because of her new brother but she would be exceptional indeed if
the birth had not left its mark upon her psyche. Her mothers excessive
concern with toilet training and anal functions would also have contributed
to the girls anxieties and helped push her to the belief that she was
somehow inadequate or unworthy.

Such a belief could easily carry with it a feeling of guilt and
consequently a need for penance; Geraldines preoccupation with large
penises, as well as her fantasies concerning ejaculating males, combine to
give us a very strong suggestion that she conceived of sexual activity as a
way of absolving the guilt she had been made to feel.

The pain she had associated with intercourse, whether vaginal or anal,
with a man whose penis was very large could well have been pleasing to her.
Though many readers may doubt that true pleasure can be found through a
painful experience, the fact is that this is very possible. At the same
time, however, we have to remember that it is only within limits that a
woman really enjoys the pain, discomfort, or subjection to which she
submits. A little pain which the man knows he can himself soothe a little
pain which the woman gladly accepts as the sign and forerunner of
pleasure-this degree of pain comes within- the normal limits of love and is
rooted, as we have seen, in the experience of the race A woman may desire
be forced, to be roughly forced, to be ravished away beyond her own will.
But all the time she only desires to be forced toward those things which
are essentially and profoundly agreeable to her. (Ellis, Studies in the
Psychology of Sex, vol. I, part 2, p. 101). As we shall see in a subsequent
portion of her case history, Geraldine eventually found herself being
pressured, into anal intercourse and she then discovered that it was very
agreeable to her. We might almost say that her early experiences with anal
digital masturbation were simply preparing her for the ultimate sexual
experience in her life, anal intercourse, a penis penetrating her rectum.
Geraldines fascination with her anus as an outlet for her sexual desires
appears to have been more symbolical than functional. That is, she did not
desire anal stimulation because of the pleasurable sensations accompanying
it- though these were definitely noticeable but because of the pleasure she
derived from imagining it. This contention is best proved by referring to
her fondness for fantasizing while masturbating. As Kinsey, et al. pointed
out in their massive work on Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, females
are far less prone to fantasy during masturbation or intercourse than are
males. (pp. 164-5 and 665-8). Geraldines heavy reliance upon
fantasies-which can include actual memories; they need not be
fictitious-shows that she acutely responded to stimuli provided by her own
mind. This propensity to rely upon her mind as well as her nerve endings as
a source of sexual stimulation is further demonstrated in a portion of her
case history to be presented below.

Some readers will wonder why our subject delayed so long her
introduction to anal intercourse. As we shall see, Geraldine was
twenty-three when she was initiated into sodomy. This was approximately ten
years after she had begun to masturbate anally. Her own explanation that
she did not know such acts were possible, makes a good bit of sense. We
must remember that a great many people are abysmally ignorant of even the
most elementary knowledge concerning sexuality and that, due to the great
secrecy surrounding the subject, accurate knowledge is not easy to come by.
Many people are very reluctant to seek knowledge, especially concerning
forms of those sexual acts declared outside the pale of respectability by
society. Like many other Americans, Geraldine had been taught to believe
that sexual intercourse involved penises and vaginas, nothing more. The
story of how she came to learn differently will now be told.

It started almost as soon as I got lifted out of the secretarial pool
and started -working in the lab. Herb, the head -technician, was a real
stud and he really gave  all the girls there a hard time. Some other hard
things too! I hadnt been there more than three or four days when he
started giving me those suggestive looks and rubbing against me every
chance he got. I remember once he called me over to his workbench and had
me look through his microscope at some cancer tissue. I bent over the
microscope and he got right up behind me, pressing his prick up against the
cheeks of my ass. Wow, did I ever get a horny feeling out of that! Sure
enough, he asked me out for a date and I accepted. We went to a place for
dinner, and then to another place for a few drinks and some dancing. We
ended up back at his apartment and went to bed. It wasnt anything special,
that first time with him. Or, at least, I didnt think so, but something
about me got him excited and he started seeing a lot of me after that.
Within a couple of weeks I was practically living with him! You know, over
at his place -every night. Or else hed come over to my efficiency. And,
usually, wed spend the whole night together. And it was every night too,
not just once or twice a week. He sure loved to get between my legs and
drive that tool of his home! Herb had a pretty nice sized prick on him.
Though it wasnt much compared to that monster of a tool Jerry had! I sort
of liked for him to drive it up in me, even if 1 didnt get a very good
come out of it. But he just kept right on shoving it home every night.
Finally he began to notice that I was only enjoying it a little, not a
whole lot, and he asked me what was wrong. I made up a little story about
how we werent doing it the way I liked it best; that I couldn't make it so
good with him on top of me.

I like to get on my side, I told him, and reach down behind with one
hand so I can feel it going in and out of me.

That was just pure nonsense, of course, but I felt that I had to say
something. I couldnt come right out and tell him that it was best for me
when I was doing it to myself with a finger up my ass! Or that I needed a
guy with a dick about the size of a table leg! He surprised me, though, and
said that wed do it my way. I was expecting him to tell me that if I
didnt like the way he screwed I could find myself a new boyfriend. That
really put it up to me, him agreeing like that, and I had to deliver the
goods.

The very first time we tried it my*ay, the way I told him about, I
didnt quite know what to do. I reached back around and sure enough I could
feel that hard rod of his plunging in and out of my cunt. That was sort of
nice, feeling it with my hand at the same time that I was getting it rammed
into me. But then I wondered why not do it to myself? Just as if I were at
home alone? So, I started massaging the rim of my asshole with the tip of a
finger. Wow! That was just what I needed! And, believe me it affected me
just as though someone had touched an electric line to my whole body! I
jerked up against him and let out a scream of pure joy and then I did- it
again. The second time it was even better and Herb was beside himself, he 
liked it so much. I could see that Id really stumbled onto something. I
just couldnt hold it back any more after Id made -myself- feel it so
strongly twice. I used my middle finger and drove it up into my ass as far
as I could. I remember thinking to myself, even as I started to- come like
Id never come before, -Gee, you really struck oil that time!

Herb was so excited by it all that he never even noticed my finger. He
just started whipping his cock in and out of me about ten times faster than
before.

And then he let go with a great, long, whooping climax that filled me
so full of prick and come and happiness that I thought sure Id pop wide
open. I hadnt ever really believed that a womans pleasure could be so
important to a guy.

Most of the guys Id known seemed to think it was all over when theyd
shot their cream.

You can believe it when I say that Herb and I really started hitting it
off then. He was just wonderful and Id never before heard such things as
he said to me when wed stopped panting and could talk a little. As soon as
wed rested a little he wanted to go again. And I wasnt about to turn him
down, so we started in the second time. Hed never even taken his prick out
of my cunt or moved off the leg I had under him. The leg was getting a
little sore, but I wouldnt have let go of him for the world.

This time, though, I made a mistake. I thought he wouldnt notice it
again if I fingered myself. -But Id forgotten that he wasnt nearly as
ready to come the second time. So, when I shoved in my finger and started
making it big, he felt my- finger against his dick and then he knew the
truth about me. He didnt say a word, though, and I didnt even realize
that hed found out until it was all over.

Why didnt you tell me you liked it up the ass? he asked me when Id
stopped heaving and puffing. If Id known, Id have done it to you there.

At first I tried to pretend that I didnt know what he was talking
about. I was just too uptight about liking that kind of thing and I didnt
really think that he could well think very much of me once he found out
the truth.

He kept on talking, though, and finally I had to give in and admit that
hed found me out.

Can a guy and a girl really do it that way? I asked him. Ive heard
that guys do it among themselves-the gay ones, I mean but I never imagined
that a man would -want to do it to a girl that way.

Whatever you want, he told me. If you like it beat in the ass thats
exactly where youll get it!

Have you done it to girls like that before? I asked. Is it good for
you, doing it that way?

He swore that hed as soon do it that way as the other. All this time,
you understand, -we were still- laying together, side by side, and his cock
was still in me and it was still as hard as a rock. He started pushing me
over onto my back.

What are you doing? I wanted to know.

Im going to lay you on your back, he said, and then Im going to
take my cock out of your cunt and slide it into your ass. Youre going to
see that a finger is one thing, but a live, hard prick is something else!

He meant just what he said, no doubt of that. I rolled over with him
and he eased back to get h-is prick out of me. I looked down and saw it
slipping out.

It was all shiny and wet from my cunt and the come Id already had. He
said that was nice and that it would go in real easy, being already greased
up like it was. I had to lift my legs way up high. I held them with- my
hands while he knelt down at my rump and guided that tool home. I could
hardly believe that this was happening to me, but when I felt the head of
his dick nudge the rim of my ass I could tell that he was for real. I
strained up, trying to see it going in, but of course I couldnt make it. I
really felt it though! Youre tight, he said. "I'll have to push hard
and it may hurt for a minute.

Thats all right, I said, as long as you get it in! Come on, get it
in. I want to feel you sliding into my ass!

Oh, I was really turned on by that time! Just thinking about it got me
fired up all over again. And then when he leaned over me and really started
putting the prick to me, forcing the rim of my ass open and shoving that
tool into me, I just died on the spot! If what Id had before, when Id
done it to myself with my finger, if that was a climax, then youre going
to have to invent a new word for what I felt when he really started fucking
my asshole! Oh, I just went out of my mind, it was so good! Fuck! Fuck my
ass! I called out, hardly knowing what I was saying. I want your cock up
my ass! I want to feel you come in my ass!

I dont know what made me say things like that but I couldnt hold them
back.

It seemed that when he started doing it to me that way I lost control of
everything. I dont usually say much when Im with a guy, or I never did
any time before, but this was different. Even thinking about what he was
doing to me was enough to tear the top of my head off almost. Its always
been that way.

I can get really excited by imagining that a guy is doing something to
me, showing me his prick, jacking off on me or anything like that. But now
he was really doing it and I could feel him shoving prick all the way up my
ass. It was just wonderful. And then, when he started to come and his cock
started shooting hot cream, it was a lot better than before, even, and so I
just had a marvelous time.

Herb and I got real close after that first time when he found out all
about me. I learned that he was something like me. I mean, he liked to
think about groovy things and do them too. He had a tender butt, just like
me, and once he asked me to finger-fuck him in the ass while I was sucking
him. He really liked for me to go down on him and, while it didnt really
do all that much for me, I was happy to do it to him just because he was so
damned nice. Once I found out that he liked my finger there, I had a lot of
fun with him. I used to lay there for hours, it seemed like, just working
my finger in and out of his asshole and working him up for a big come.
Usually when I did him like that Id either let him shoot off in my mouth
or maybe on me. He sort of liked to see his come squirting over my boobs
and dripping down onto my tummy.

He was also something of a swinger. You know the people who have
parties and everybody starts making out with everybody else? When he told
me about that I was a little scared and ashamed. I didnt really want
anyone else to know about me liking to get fucked in the ass. But Herby
convinced me that it was all -right and that everybody else at the parties
liked it there too. So I went along with him and thats how I really
started to find out about sex. Some of those people at the parties we made,
they were just out of sight! I mean, you cant think of anything they
wouldnt do to each other. It was just wild, sometimes, when six or eight
of us would all get spread out together on a living room floor. Some girls
would be sucking and others would be fucking, and sometimes a girl would be
doing both at once.

I remember Susie, this black girl-we were racially integrated, no big
thing about that- who just couldnt get enough of any of that kind of
action. One time I saw her getting it from three guys at once! She sat down
on this white guy, a fellow with a prick like you wouldnt believe, and
took him in her ass.

Just the thought of getting reamed out with a tool the size of his made
me come, almost, but-she took it without a whimper! Then she got another
guy over her, between her legs. He ran his cock up her cunt, making two.
And then she took her husband, right after hed fucked a big, busty redhead
almost out of her mind, and sucked him! All three at once, she had them,
and that was positively the most exciting thing Id ever seen in the world!
The sight of a prick going in a womans cunt or ass that always got to me
in the strongest possible way. Especially if the guy was going in her ass.
I could watch that forever, I guess. Theres something about that sight
that just tears me up inside. Herb noticed how strongly I reacted to things
like that and he was the one who suggested doing something that really
turned me around.

We were at his apartment, just the two of us. And, of course, we were
in bed and playing around. He told me that hed worked out some thing new
for us to do. And me, I was just wild to see what it was. He had this big
easy chair, you see, and thats where it happened. He sat down in it, with
a hard-on like you wouldnt believe, and he had me get up in the chair with
my back to him. I lowered myself down and right then I realized what he was
working toward.

Hed put the chair in such a place that we were facing a full length
mirror.

It was only six -or eight feet away and I could see -everything! The way
I was sitting over him, with my heels resting on the edge of the chair, it 
brought my pussy up into full view because my knees were-really wide apart.
And then there was that love-pole of his sticking up from between his legs
like a flagpole. It was aimed straight at me and it looked just fierce! I
see what youve got in mind now, I said, and I think its the greatest
ever!

Just let yourself down on my cock, he told me. Slip your cunt down
over it and get it slick. Then well move it back to where it will do you a
lot of good!

You can believe that I was plenty turned on by all this. My pussy was
already almost boiling hot and it was turning out love-drip like it was
going out of style. I didnt put his prick in me, though I had a better
idea. I used my fingers, transferring the slick stuff from my cunt to his
prick. He thought it was a pretty good idea. Hed twisted his head around
so that he could get a good look too, and he could see that I was dipping
my fingers into my pussy and then wiping them over the head of his dick. I
really enjoyed giving him that hand job, except that I was intending it to
be only a warm-up, not the real thing.

He got so turned on that I had to-stop handling him for a little while
or hed have popped off right there in my hand. Not that that would have
been so bad an idea, actually. Later on I did him that way a couple of
times, working him with my fingers so that hed shoot off all over my pussy
and ass. This time, though, I wanted the real thing, all the way in. And I
made sure that I didnt work him up too much. I had to wait a minute or two
him cool down before I worked his cock into my cunt. I wanted him in there
so I could be sure he would be slick enough to go in my ass. I worked
myself back and forth on his prick a few times, just so I could see it
sliding in and out of my pussy. Thats really a fantastic sight. Ill never
forget the first time I saw it! But then he started getting worked up
again and I had to stop. I sat there, as still as I could be, until hed
quieted down a little. Then I had him grab his prick down by the base and
hold it still while I moved off him and got myself into position where I
could aim my asshole at that prick of his. He was almost dripping with
pussy juice when I started and the head nosed into place just as easy as
could be. It wasnt until I started working the stiff part of it into me
that I could really feel it. Sitting in that position, you know, makes your
ass a lot tighter and it seemed as though his prick was twice or maybe
three times, as big as it had ever been before.

I was watching it all in the mirror and I could see it perfectly. The
flesh around the mouth of my ass was being pushed in. It didnt want to
open up and let him inside. But he was placed right and I knew that if I
gritted my teeth and pushed hard enough it would pop into place and then
wed be off to Come City Sure, it was beginning to hurt a little but I
didnt mind that. The pain wasnt anything compared to the excitement of
knowing that a real, live man was about to fuck me in the ass and that I
was going to be able to see every bit of it! Youve got to push harder,
he said. I cant hump it into you, so youre going to have to drive your 
ass down on my cock!

Ill do it, I promised. Ill do anything to get you inside my ass!

I wasnt lying either. At that moment, after Id gotten so worked up by
seeing him do all those things to me and knowing what else there was left,
I guess Id have torn myself open to finish it. I didnt have to do that,
though. I just swung my hips down toward him- and the head of his cock 
popped into me just as easy as pie. Well, not all that easy, I guess,
because I could- really tell that hed stretched my ass. But who minds a
little thing like that kind of pain? Especially since it doesnt last but
just a minute or two. You get used to it after that and its no problem at
all. Its just pleasure of a sort that I couldnt describe. Not even if I
knew all the words- in the English language! Herb was just as turned on as
I was and he didnt get more than the head of his prick inside my ass when
he started to come. Pow! Zap! Great big, thick shots of come, stronger than
any Id ever felt before. And it went on and on, till I thought sure he
couldnt have any more cream left in his balls. When he felt it start he
just groaned, as if Id fastened a pipe wrench onto his prick, instead of
my ass, and then he really let me have it.

Naturally I was coming too-. Who wouldnt have let go with a climax
when something that great was happening to you? It just spread all, over
me, kind of like a fog, and I could feel it everywhere in my body-even down
to my toes, the tips of my fingers, the roots of my hair, every place
imaginable! I could still see it all real clear in the mirror in front of
me and I could even see that big vein running up-the bottom of his prick.
It was swelling and pumping like mad as the cream shot out of it. And I
could feel it almost as well as if it were going off in my mouth! I didnt
touch my clit or rub my pussy or do anything like that. It was enough, just
feeling him go into me and seeing it all. I didnt have to do a thing
except sit there and enjoy it. That, and come. Oh, did I ever come! It just
lasted and lasted. Herb himself said that hed never, not even once, felt a
woman come like I did that time. And I guess hes diddled enough of them to
know what hes talking about. One thing is  for certain: if it had lasted
any longer Id have passed out for sure!  After a while, when wed both
sort of got over that first big spurt -of joy, we started in again. Herb
reached around with his finger and started rubbing the lips of-my pussy. I
laid back and watched him work me up. I could see his finger getting wet
and I knew that I was building up for another big one.- I was a little
uncertain of him because after all, hed just shot off like only a few guys
ever do. But he said that be thought he could make it and even if he
couldnt, he just had to feel me come again like that.

As it turned out, he didnt make it. Id milked all the come out of his
balls that first time! He never stopped, though, not even after it became
pretty clear that he wasnt going to be able to come again. He just kept
shoving the prick up my ass and stroking my clit until I let go with
another monstrous come. It didnt last quite as long as that first one and
it wasnt quite as strong. But, even at that, it was a lot better than any 
Id ever bad before, either with a guy or by myself.

Herb showed me that he was really interested in me. I mean, not just as
something to fuck-though he was sure keen on that!-but also as a human
being. I ended up telling him nearly everything about myself, even down to
the time when I discovered that my ass was really sensitive and could be
used for fun. And he let me know a good bit more about himself. He really
liked to talk about things like that and be also liked seeing- me do it to
myself. I was terribly shy about that and at first I really hated to admit
that I was a finger-dipper, but he convinced me that it wasnt all that
bad. It , wasnt very long before Id gotten up my nerve enough to show
him how I did it to myself.

He convinced me by giving himself a hand job one Saturday afternoon
when we were sitting around his apartment watching a football game. Hed
been after me for a while to show him how I did it, and I always turned
him down. But, after a while, he just took hold of his cock we were already
naked, wed been screwing and we were laying in bed watching TV-and started
pumping his- fist up and down the stem of the big, hard thing. I thought he
was just showing off at first but pretty soon he came on real strong.

Im going to come! he gasped. Do you want to suck it do you want to
blow me?

No, why dont you shoot off on me? I said, twisting around so I could
get my face up close to his cock. Shoot the come on my boobs!

He really dug that idea and he moved a little, just enough to get his
dick aimed in the right direction. And he kept on stroking that big love
rod. It wasnt long before it came, and when it did he just drenched my
nipples with come! I felt wonderful, laying there under him and feeling
that warm, thick stuff shoot down on me. I started fingering my clit and
then, once Id gotten really hungry for it, I moved my finger down to my
asshole and I finished myself off the way. Herb watched it, every bit, and
he said it was just total sex. I believed him after that.

Some readers undoubtedly will be offended by this look at Geraldines
most intimate sexual desires and practices. They- will accuse her of sexual
abnormality and brand her a pervert. This judgment may have the approval of
the Establishment and could be justified in a legal sense, but it has
little merit from the psychiatric viewpoint. It is the opinion of a very
respected authority that any individual who can only, under all
circumstances, enjoy one particular form of sexual activity; anyone who is
compulsively or obsessively fixated on one single mode of sexual behavior;
anyone who is fearfully and rigidly bound to any exclusive form of sexual
participation,; that individual is unquestionably sexually abnormal,
perverted or neurotic. (Ellis, Albert.

Sex Without Guilt. New York: Grove Press, 1965. pp. 136-187).

The key words in that quotation were those in italics. While Geraldine
can achieve the greatest sexual pleasure only through anal intercourse, she
does not restrict herself to that mode. She occasionally fellates her
boyfriends and also performs vaginal intercourse, though her enjoyment of 
these is never very marked. Within the strict framework of deviancy as
defined above, she would have to be labeled as non-deviant. For all that,
she definitely has problems in the sexual area. As we have seen, the source
of these problems lies rooted in her past. The chances of her overcoming
those problems and learning to function sexually in a more orthodox pattern
are very slight, especially since she does not want to change. Without the
desire to change, little can be accomplished.

Chapter Five Terri H.

Ever since I can remember, almost, Madge has had this fear that. Im
going to lose my cherry. Madge, shes my stepmother but youd think that
shed given birth to me herself, shes so protective! Maybe shes just
trying extra hard to see that I dont get into serious trouble, though I
sometimes think that theres something else working in her mind. The way
she carries on youd think that the worst possible thing that could happen
to a girl would be for her to get screwed.

What makes it even more ironic is that Madge herself is one of the most
sex-minded women Ive ever known or heard about. For a while I didnt know
that. You see, she married Daddy when I was seven-my real mother had died
about three years before-and for a while I honestly didnt know how to take
her. Ill say this for her-she isnt a hypocrite! When I finally caught on
to the meaning of those sounds that came out of their bedroom every night
and confronted her with it she never even blinked.

Whats so awful about doing things with a fellow? I asked her one
morning when shed launched into one of her lectures about how awful it was
to let a fellow do it to you. You and Daddy do it to each other, dont
you? You both seemed to be enjoying it last night!

Of course we were, she admitted. Its a wonderful thing, making love.

Theres no reason why we shouldnt enjoy it. Im sorry, though, that we
disturbed you.

She went on to give me a long song-and-dance about how screwing was
really an expression of love and that when two people screwed without being
in love it was just an expression of animal lust. There were some more
arguments she handed out but I dont want to get into all that right now.
The essence of her point was that screwing is not for kids. Youve got to
be grown up before you can do it.

I dont know why it is but every time Ive ever heard that old crap
about Wait till you get older, youre not mature enough, Ive just wanted
to get into it all the more. Look at it this way-with the Pill being so
available, youre not likely to get pregnant, right? And if you watch what
youre doing, check the guy out a little and look for the signs, youre not
going to get the clap or the syph, are you? And even if you do, whats the
big worry? A couple of shots of penicillin or something and youre as good 
as new. I know several of my friends had the clap and theyre not any the
worse for it.

Finally theres the big thing about Madges way of looking at things.
Ive got this cherry and she swears that Ive got to keep it for my
husband. But what if I dont get a husband? What if I decided to work a
while after college before I get married? Christ, the dumb thing could rot
off by that time. The kids would talk about me carrying a museum piece
between my legs! Can you feature anyone making so much out of a little
piece of membrane? It doesnt make much sense to me.

From what I can gather, Im something of a rarity. I dont mean just
because Im still a virgin, though thats bad enough. I mean because Ive
got this cherry. The stuff Ive read and the girls Ive talked to all agree
pretty well that its a biological accident, having one. I dont know where
Madge picked up this phobia of hers, that fixation or whatever you want to
call it, but shes determined that Im going to keep mine intact. And all
this when most of the girls I know never had one to start with! Why, Julie
Monroe-shes my best friend, I guess-she swore that she never had one at
all and I believe her. She says that when her periods started she began
using tampons and never noticed a thing. It was the same way when she first
spread for a fellow. He just slipped the prick to her and she never felt
anything pop or rip or tear. And I could name you several other girls
whove had just about the same experience.

You might say, Why dont you go ahead and do it with Ken, or Ricky, or
Phil, or some other guy, and just pretend that it never happened? Well,
thats where it gets sort of complicated. Im a little ashamed to say this
but the fact is, I cant go ahead like that. In the first place, neither
Daddy nor Madge want me to let a fellow do it to me and I hate to
disappoint them. In the second place Madge checks me regularly. Yes, after
every date, well go into my bedroom and I have to spread out and let her
run her finger up my hole so she can be sure the cherry is still there! A
lot of people will probably think thats just awful and maybe theyre
right, I dont know. I dont mind that so much, letting her see me and run
her finger in my hole. After all, were all nudists-thats where Daddy met
Madge, at a nudist lodge up in the mountains- and weve never been very shy
about letting other people see our bodies. The main objection I have is
that its just well kind of humiliating, laying there and having her check
me out. The only nice thing about it is that shes got a nice touch. I sort
of like the way she does it, especially if Ive been out with a guy and
weve been acting horny.

You might think Im rather silly for putting up with it but, damn it,
theyre nice people in spite of their obsession with cherries and that
stuff. I just hate to have it out with them. And besides, it isnt as if I
were missing all that much, I guess. You know, Madge showed me how to
finger myself off. Yes, she came through herself and told me that if I
became really excited, so much so that I might feel like giving in to a
fellow and letting him screw me, I ought to just ram my hand between my 
legs and do myself! Im pretty good at that. I like to imagine myself in
bed with a handsome man, usually someone in his late thirties or early
forties, and were doing all those groovy things to each other. Except that
all the while Ive got both fingers over my clit, running down beside it,
and after a while I get so excited that all I have to do is just nudge my
hips upward a little and rub my pussy into my fingers, and wham! There it
is, just rolling out of me! Except that all this doesnt set too well
with the fellows. So far I havent met a single boy my own age that has the
slightest understanding of the position Im in. Madge says thats because
theyre so fired up that they cant think of anything but fuck, fuck, and
fuck! And I believe shes right there.

Ill have to give her credit for that. Usually my experiences with guys
all run to just about the same pattern.

For the first few dates everything is all right and were progressing
about like every other couple at Miller High. The guy will take me to a
football game or two, maybe some dances, and well love it up afterward,
usually in his car.

After the third or fourth date weve gotten to a pretty intimate stage.
I dont believe in letting a fellow get too intimate until weve been out
three or four times. And then it begins to get sticky. I usually manage to
put them off for a while and to get by with just giving them hand jobs. I
just love the feel of a prick in my hands, so hard and hot, and Im real
good at jerking them off. I know how to rub myself up against a fellow
while were kissing, letting him know that I really dig him, and I let him
see that Im getting hot too.

Generally, by the time I open their pants and get that tool out theyre
already dripping. And it doesnt take but just a few strokes and theyre
popping off, shooting come all over the place.

Some of the fellows have brought me off too, with their hands. But most
of the boys Ive dated dont really know how its done. I mean, all they
can imagine is getting one or two fingers into a girls cunt and then
working them back and forth-just as though they were fucking her with their
pricks. But that doesnt work for me. Im afraid, first, of having my
cherry ripped open and, second, I just dont like that kind of finger
action. God knows, Ive tried often enough to show guys what I wanted them
to do but most of them just cant seem to understand that all I want is a
finger on either side of my clitty. Thats all it takes, honest! But they
want to get so frantic and work against me so hard that I just cant make
it.

As for the French stuff, you can forget that! The guys in high school
are supposed to be a pretty sophisticated bunch but, let me tell you, they
all think its just awful if a girl even so much as looks like she wants to
suck them! And as for going down on a girl, forget it! They wouldnt eat
pussy if they were starving to death and the pussy was covered with catsup!
It wasnt until last year, when I started my junior year in high school,
that my situation began to improve. The irony of it is that it began 
picking up just at the moment when I felt lowest of all! Maybe I should
take a little time to explain that.

The first thing you have to understand is that Id started working as a
part-time secretary for Mr. Harvey, whos an assistant principal at MHigh.

Hes just extra nice, so handsome and cool, and I really felt honored
that hed picked me out. You see, we have this system there which allows
the principals and some of the other bigwigs to select student secretaries
from the M Society, which is sort of an honor group. We get paid a little
for doing the work but that isnt the reason we do it, of course. I guess
its always been that way at M- and we look on it as an honor. At least I
do.

Well, Id been working for Mr. Harvey for about a month and Id grown
to like him a lot. In some ways he reminds me a lot of my father very good
looking, very positive, very much a man of the world. Anyway, after Id
been working there a while, I got the word from Bo, my latest boyfriend. He
said he was tired of being jerked off and that, if I wouldnt put out for
him, he was going to find himself a girl who would. Id heard that before,
of course, and I was sort of expecting it, but still it doesnt make a girl
feel very good to be shot down like that.

BO had given me the word just after Chemistry, my last class of the
day, when I was on my way to Mr. Harveys office. I was pretty broken up
about it, naturally, and when I got to the office he could see that Id
been crying. He wanted to know what was coming off. At first I tried to
pretend that nothing was wrong but he wouldnt buy that. It was just too
obvious that something was wrong. Finally I just broke down and told him
everything I mean, I really laid it on the line, all of it, even down to
the bit about Madge being so obsessed with my cherry. I was crying like a
baby. I couldnt help that. And the next thing I knew I had my head on his
shoulder. Mr. Harveys a really kind, understanding sort of person and you
just know, right from the start, that you can trust him all the way. Hes
the sort of man you can really talk to and you know he wont go blabbing it
around and getting you into trouble.

Well, the next thing I knew he was holding me in his arms and me, I
could feel his prick against my thigh. Ive been in enough clinches with
guys that I know when a fellow has a hard-on and there was no mistaking
this one! Hes really hung, you know, and that thing was just sticking out
all over. I was never so surprised as when I realized that hed actually
raised a stiff. Over me? He felt that way about me? It was really a mind
blower! One thing led to another and the next thing I knew we were
kissing. Id been very horny all day. Bo and I had had a long love scene
the night before and Id come away from it feeling pretty raunchy. Id
woken up that morning in the same mood and now, with us kissing and me
feeling his cock against me, I just couldnt keep it back. I was rubbing my
nipples against him and sort of dry humping on his leg and we were
kissing-really hot kisses, running our tongues into each others mouth and 
all that-and then POW! I just let go with a really hard come! I collapsed
against him. It nearly melted my legs, it was so strong, and I could feel
the come just gushing out of my pussy and drenching my panties. Id opened
my legs up so I could get them around his thigh and I just went wild,
humping his leg and working it all out till Id really had myself a fine
come.

What can you say after youve brought your-self off like that? I mean,
you cant just pretend that it never happened-it was far too obvious for
that. I couldnt hide it and at that moment I didnt really want to. I just
leaned up against him and we kept on kissing. After a little while I felt
him rubbing his hands over my rump and that was as exciting as if hed been
fingering my joy-button. He hadnt come; he still had that ferocious
hard-on, and it was still boring into my thigh. And I could feel myself
getting warmed up all over.

I just turned around a little so that he could rub between my legs if he
wanted to.

Pull my dress up if you want, I said, taking the bit in my teeth. I
like the feel of your hands!

He did it and I opened up a little so he could get his hand up between
my legs. Oh, he had a marvelous touch-not too hard and in just the right
place for me to get going again. I just stood there and worked myself off
once more, fucking my pussy into his fingers. Even through my panties it
felt good. I was sort of hoping maybe hed run his hand inside them or go
in through the leg, but it was plenty good just the way it was. In no time
at all I was creaming again and this time it was even better than it had
been before.

I never did it so good! I told him when the tremors had died out in my
cunt.

It was absolutely marvelous!

Ive been wanting to do that for a long time, he told me.

Just that? I asked, feeling pretty much the flirt.

And other things, he admitted.

Id like to do them too, I said, but Im afraid to let you do them to
me. I know Id love them, but Im afraid.

You dont have to worry about losing your cherry, he said. We can do
a lot of things together and still leave it alone.

That really got me interested and I wanted to know all about it. I also
wanted to know what about his wife-I wasnt at all sure what he was leading
up to.

Maybe he was one of those guys who was getting tired of his wife and
wanted a younger model. I didnt want any of that-I just wanted to have a
good time, thats all.

Dont worry about Amy, he told me. She understands perfectly. In
fact, shed probably love it if I brought you home. Would you mind that?
Being with me while she watched? She really digs that, you know.

No, I didnt know that. Youve guessed it- him and his wife were both 
swingers! You know the kind of people that go to sex parties? Id never
have imagined it of them, but thats what he said; I didnt feel that I
could just jump in right away with that and I told him so. He said he
understood and that we could play it by ourselves for a while. Naturally I
was red-hot to get on with my education but he said the schools office
wasnt the best place for that- wed have to go somewhere else. I was
willing to meet him at night, except that he was tied up that night, and
the next one too. We figured out, though, that we could meet, on Saturday
and spend a lot of time in the country some place.

Thats the way it was-he picked me up about nine that Saturday morning
and we drove way out into the back end of nowhere. He found a really
secluded lane and we drove up it, then parked and got the blanket out. I
was just wild for it.

Sitting there next to him had really gotten me turned on and I couldnt
wait to get started. He wanted me to strip for him and I did, though I
thought that was really strange, undressing in front of a guy, especially
with him being the same age as my daddy, almost. But it was also very
exciting. Seeing his eyes light up when I pulled off the top and opened my
bra- that was really great, seeing how he enjoyed looking at my breasts.
And when I unzipped my jeans all the way, so he could see I wasnt wearing
any panties that was great too! His eyes just about raped me and I could
feel that I was getting hotter and hotter.

Now lie down and show me how you do it to yourself, he said.

At first I tried to pretend that I didnt know what he was talking
about but I could see I wasnt convincing him so I went ahead and did it.
He thought it was real groovy, the way I do it without moving much of
anything, and it got him pretty turned on too. Then he started undressing
and, when he pulled off his underwear and turned around so I could see his
cock, I almost came just by looking at him! Hes hung like nobody I ever
saw and its a lovely prickstraight and thick with a great, broad head on
the end.

What are you going to do? I asked.

Im going to show you how a girl can have a good time and never get
fucked, he said. Im going to fuck you with my tongue!

Geez, that was out of sight! He got over me and started nibbling
around on my thighs. I was almost creaming even before he ever touched my
snatch with his tongue. But when he slipped that tongue over my button, I
just flipped right out! It ran all over me, the feeling from that contact,
and before I knew it I was pushing his head between my legs and fucking up
to his mouth and then I was just coming from head to foot, literally. He
really sucked me off, he did, and I thought it was going to last forever.

Now youre going to suck me off, he said. Take my cock in your mouth
and lick it- youll love it!

You know something? He was right! It was the first time Id ever gone
down on a fellow but, my Lord, it was just out of sight, right from the
moment when he peeled the ski back from the head and shoved his cock in my 
mouth. I didnt know very much about sucking but he told me what to do and
I did it. He asked me did I want him to pull it out when he. started to
come and I nodded yes but when it happened, the sight of that big thing
spewing cream out was just so fucking sexy I couldnt help myself. I pulled
him back and started licking him again, running my mouth own on his cock
and sucking as hard as I could. I wanted to feel him shooting hot, thick,
juicy come into me! We met a couple of more times after that, usually on
the weekend during the day, and we had a couple of pretty steamy love
sessions in his office late in the afternoon when everyone else had gone
home. He finger fucked me out of my mind, almost, and sucked me off too, on
those occasions. I couldnt keep my mouth off his cock. Feeling that big,
hard, hot rod slide into my mouth was just the sexiest thing ever and I
couldnt get enough of it. I didnt mind the taste of come a bit. In fact,
after the first time, I sort of liked it and now I dont think theres
anything better.

On one of those Saturday meetings be told me that hed just fucked Amy,
his wife, before be left to pick me up. He hadnt washed his cock off or
anything, so it would still taste of cunt and fucking, and that got me so
horny I tried giving him a blow job while we drove out to our parking
place! I didnt make it. He wouldnt come while he was driving. But I
really dug the taste of a cunty-flavored prick and, when we got there, I
did myself while I sucked him off. What a blast that was!

One frequently encounters cases in which one would like to interview not
only the subject but her family as well. This desire is especially strong
in studying the case of Terri H-, an attractive sixteen year old high
school girl.

There is no doubt that Terris father, a prosperous contractor, wanted
to provide well for his daughter. He could have sent her to an exclusive
boarding school. Instead she chose to attend the public high school in
her suburb, a school with a fine reputation. As we have already seen, the
schools outstanding record did not prevent one of its officials from
effecting a liaison with the girl.

Madge, Terris stepmother, is an especially interesting figure. What
about hen concern for the girls virginity? Was it a sincere concern? Or
were there, perhaps, other and less creditable motives behind her curious
actions? Possibly there was a latent homosexual attraction between the girl
and her stepmother.

Terri herself admitted that she rather enjoyed Madges periodic checks
to ascertain the continued existence of the hymeneal membrane. Moreover,
one cannot help feeling dubious about the good intentions of a stepmother
who teaches a girl how to masturbate. Possibly there was something of the
sexual exhibitionist in Madge.

Lacking the opportunity to probe more deeply into the psychiatric makeup
of the family, we must concentrate our attention upon Terri herself. As is
so often the case, Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, provides
the framework in which we can best understand Terris sexual development. 
Freud speaks of the castration complex, the discovery by little girls
that they are not like little boys-specifically, they lack the penis-and
goes on to note, very different is the effect of the castration complex on
the girl She acknowledges the fact of her castration, the consequent
superiority, of the male and her own inferiority, but she also rebels
against these unpleasant facts. So, divided in her mind, she may follow one
of three lines of development. The first leads to her turning her back on
sexuality altogether. The budding, woman, frightened by the comparison of
herself with boys, becomes dissatisfied with her clitoris and gives up her
phallic activity and there with her sexuality in general and a considerable
part of her masculine proclivities in other fields. If she pursues the
second line, she clings in obstinate self-assertion to her threatened
masculinity; the hope of getting a penis sometime is cherished to an
incredibly late age and becomes the aim of her life, whilst the fantasy of
really being a man, in spite of everything, often dominates long periods of
her life. This masculinity complex may also result in a manifestly
homosexual object-choice.

Only if her development follows the third, very circuitous path does she
arrive at the ultimate normal feminine attitude in which she takes her
father as love object, and thus arrives at the Oedipus complex in its
feminine form. Thus, in women, that complex represents the final result of
a lengthy process of development; castration does not destroy but rather
creates it, and it escapes the strong hostile influences which, in men,
tend to its destruction-in fact, only too often a woman never surmounts it
at all. (Freud, Female Sexuality, reprinted in Sexuality and the
Psychology of Love, pp. 198-9, Philip Rieff, editor) Terri obviously
rejected the first of the three alternatives mentioned by Freud. That is,
she emphatically did not turn away from her own sexuality.

However, she seems to have vacillated between the second and the third
choices. The second alternative would obviously lead to the formation of a
homosexual personality. As we have seen, there is more than a hint of a
homosexual attraction between Terri and her stepmother. As we shall see in
a later portion of her case history, a similar attachment developed between
her and Amy, the wife of the assistant principal already mentioned.

It is the relationship between Terri and the assistant principal, Mr.

Harvey-though they were extremely intimate, she never referred to him by
his first name-which must occupy most of our attention. Terri has already
mentioned a more than superficial similarity between Harvey and her father,
a comparison which naturally brings to mind the implication of incest. We
think it is very possible that this likeness between the two men bad a
great deal to do with Terris enthusiastic response to his advances: in
fact, it would not be too much to say that, in making love with Harvey, she
was actually forming a close physical tie with her own father, at least on
the symbolic level.

The reader may already have noticed that, while Terri professed a great
deal of admiration and respect for her father, so much so that she declined
to allow her hymen to be ruptured in order not to disappoint him, she never
said much about him as a person. We submit that this curious fact
indicates, first, a very strong emotional attachment to her father, but,
second, a strong reluctance to allow it to come out into the open. It is
quite possible, in other words, that Terri subconsciously felt a strong
physical attachment to her father but refused to reveal it. This attraction
later surfaced in her very erotic relationship with a father-substitute,
Harvey. Thus Terri took both the second and the third alternatives
suggested by Freud! The death of Terris mother and her understandable
inability to accept Madge as a full substitute contributed to this curious
outcome, we can safely assume.

Dr. Benjamin Karpman, a noted authority, corroborates our suspicion that
Terri saw in Harvey a substitute for her father. He also provides a clue to
another development to be chronicled in a subsequent portion of her case
history.

Karpman points out that the patient, confronted with an incestuous
fixation on the one hand and the incest barrier on the other, finds it
necessary to affect a compromise that enables him to avoid or circumvent
direct incestuous activities but nevertheless permits him to indulge his
incestuous desires indirectly and perhaps symbolically. Thus, a man who has
a fixation on his mother is terrified not only- at the idea of having
sexual relations with her, but even at the idea of having them with any
other woman, because every woman is, actually or potentially, a mother and
therefore brings to mind a picture of his own mother. Since libido must
find an outlet, he resorts to the expedient of indulging in sex relations
that will completely exclude the vaginal orifice.

Consequently, he may indulge in fellatio, cunnilingus, pederasty, which
to him, appears to completely remove the chosen activity from any
implication of incest. (Quoted in Capnio, Variations in Sexual Behavior,
pp. 190-1.) We believe that Terri conforms to this pattern and that she
eagerly accepted the injunctions to preserve her hymen. She did so because
orthodox sexual intercourse would have seemed too much like incest and thus
she sought recourse in other forms of sexual behavior. Thus, when analintercourse was suggested to her, she eagerly seized upon it as a way of
having her cake and eating it too.

Every time we got together, Mr. Harvey and me, he would ask me if I
wanted to go over to his house to have our fun. For a while I wouldnt go.
I just couldnt bring myself to do those things with him while his wife was
look big on. Finally he convinced me by showing me some pictures someone
had made. He was lying on a bed and some really gorgeous blonde chick was
going down on him.

Right next to him was his wife-I knew her when I saw her-and she had her
mouth full of cock! After that I believed him when he said that they
werent hung up about doing things like that and so I said that Id go
along with him. We set it up for the next Saturday and that was that.

When I got there Amy herself met me at the door. She was wearing a 
negligee that really showed off her body like the movies do, and she had a
hell of a body to show off. And you could see that she was really turned on
by it all.

Come on in, she told me, holding the door open. Were back in the
bedroom getting ready. Im sure youll have a wonderful time. You mustnt
feel self-conscious or anything. Just relax, make yourself comfortable and
enjoy it.

What can you say to that? I mean, Id come there to ball her husband
and she rolls out the red carpet! Jeez, thats some kind of hospitality! I
beaded off in the direction she pointed, out -and she said shed be along
in a minute. I went on down the hallway and turned into the bedroom shed
mentioned. He was there, lying on top of the covers with his cock spread
out across his tummy like a gigantic snake. I stepped into the room and
just seeing him like that, it made me queasy all over.

Come on in, he told me. Amy will be back in a few minutes. Why dont
you take off your clothes and join me?

I couldnt have done anything but take off my clothes, once hed asked
me. It was like I was some kind of robot, programmed to do everything he
suggested. If someone had said to me beforehand that Id be undressing In
front of a man when his wife was somewhere in the house, about to come into
the same room with us,Id have said he was out of his gourd. But here I was
doing it! I peeled, and when I was absolutely bare I was already so hot I
could barely stand it.

Youre really beautiful! I heard Amy say. Shed slipped into the room
and hadnt even heard her! Yes, youre really something!

If that wasnt something, standing there stark naked and both of them
looking me over! I know, Ive got a pretty good body and my breasts,
especially, are good-they really stand out, you know, and when I get
turned on theyre just as firm as can be-so I knew they werent putting me
on, they really meant what they said.

Go over to him, Amy said to me. Take his cock in your mouth. He likes
to be sucked.

I knew that and I also knew that I liked going down on him. His cock
was so big I could hardly get it in my mouth and I could never get more
than halfway down on it, its so long, but I just love trying. She watched
me eat him for a minute and then she said for me to get over him so he
could lick my pussy too.

I turned around and did it. She moved so that she could see my pussy
and she really raved about it. I could see out of the corner of my eye that
she was fingering her own twat while she was watching. Shes the sort who
just loves rubbing the lips of her pussy together while shes watching
something really sexy.

He sucked me off and it was just fine! I was so steamed up, of course,
that I popped off nearly as soon as he touched me with his tongue. All it
took was just a couple of little flicks up and down the slit and I was
gone, just creaming like Id never done it before. That was part of their 
plan, I later figured out: to make me have a real quick one so Id get over
being uptight while they were both on the bed with me. It worked. As soon,
as Id recovered a little from that come, I felt a lot more at ease with
them, and I didnt feel so ashamed any more.

Theres nothing like a good climax to take away a persons
selfishness, Amy told me. When youve come like that in front -of your
friends, theres no reason to hold back anything any longer!

Youre right, I had to admit. Youve seen me come, and that really
breaks the ice, I guess.

She was still fingering herself, slow and easy, and I could see that
she was really turned on by it all. Her fingers were dripping wet from the
pussy drip shed turned out and the lips- great, thick flaps of meat that
looked like theyd really be sensitive-were just covered with that clear
oil a womanproduces when shes really up for screwing or something.

Could I ask you something personal? she said, getting up on her knees
but still keeping that one hand in place. Ive never felt a cherry. Would
you mind if I felt of yours? Please? If you want to, I-said.

He was still under me, of- course, and he opened me up with his hands,
pulling the lips of my pussy apart and making it easier for her to run a
finger into the mouth of my cunt. She felt around and, when she was
satisfied, she pulled her finger out and then she licked it off! Man, that
was really something, looking at, her lick her own finger after shed had
it in my cunt! That really got to me! Then she wanted me to turn around and
get over him so I could rub the head of his dick over my pussy.

You dont have to worry about him coming, she said. But I guess you
already know that he holds off his come as long as he wants to. Why dont
you try getting over him and running just the head of his cock into the
mouth of your cunt? Not enough to burst that precious cherry, of course,
just enough to give yourself a good feeling? I love seeing his prick nosing
into a sweet, hot pussy!

What a weird idea! I got turned on just hearing her say it. I didnt
want to do it, because I was afraid that, once Id gotten that far, Id
lose control and let myself go down on him too far and then Id pop my own
cherry! They had an answer for that, though they got me on my back and he
got over me. He knew he wasnt likely to ram it in thoughtlessly and split
me. Besides, they had me hold my legs way up high, almost up beside my own
head and, once Id gotten into that position, I could hardly move at all.
He got over me and let me tell you that was great! Feeling him touch that
big, hard, hot cock to my pussy was just wonderful! And when he- opened my
cunt up with it, running it down just far enough to touch the cherry, I was
out of my head, it was so fucking good! I got another come, of course, and
they seemed to enjoy it a lot, being there and helping me get those
climaxes, one after the other. He was getting horny too and he said he was
going to have to let go with a come himself.

Give it to me! she said, scooting around so she could get her head in
between his tummy and mine. Puck her till youre almost there and then jack
off in my mouth!

Jeez, what a wild pair they were! You know, seeing him at school youd
never think he was such a cunt hound. And Amy, she usually seemed pretty
mild too.

But let me- tell you, once they got into, the bedroom they were totally
different! Can you imagine, a wife making her husband do a thing like that?
I know- some pretty hot chicks at school and some of the guys had a
reputation for being far out, though I didnt really believe that, but this
pair was just out of, sight! -Im damned if they didnt do just what she
said-he worked his prick around in the mouth of my cunt till I was almost
coming again and then, when hed gotten it thoroughly soaked in my pussy
drip, he jerked it out and started fucking himself with his fist! Amy
leaned right in there and I guess she got her lips over the head of his
dick. I couldnt see because her head was in the way. I could see, though,
that she was doing it to herself again with her hand. Finally he let out a
groan and started to come.

Suck! Suck that come out of my cock! he told her. Eat my prick! Drain
my balls! Ill fill you full of come!

She didnt say  anything, of course. How could she, with a mouthful of
hard, spewing  prick? I could  tell that she was digging though, and her,
hand was really working on her pussy. She groaned out loud and I guess she
started to come too while she was eating him. It sure looked and sounded
that way. Damn, that was sexy! Lying there with him still between my legs
and my pussy jumping around till I thought it might fall right off, and her
sucking him like mad while she was fingering her own box!, All of it
together was just too much!.

Theyd only started, though. Hes a horny bastard and when he wants to
he can go on for hours and hours. Shes the same way I think they could
play flick and suck for-hours or days at a time. When she took her mouth
off his cock, I could see a little dribble of his come edge down from the
corner of her- mouth. Hed really shot a load into her. His prick was still
as hard as a rock and I just knew that they were going to have some
interesting ideas to try -with me.

I sure wasn't wrong about that! It seemed as though that first come
just whetted their appetites all the more and they really got started in on
me. Amy called the shots. She seemed to have a thing about wanting to see
him doing all kinds of- things to me. She had him lie on his back and then
had me get over him so l could rub the lips of my pussy all over his balls,
up and down the stem of his cock and just everywhere. That was real good
and it made me horny all over again. Then she had me put- my legs together
with his prick between them, so it stuck out between the cheeks of my ass,
and that was even better.

It seemed to me that this was almost like flicking, except that he
wasnt in me, of course, but I really liked lying next to him and feeling
his body pressed up tight against mine.

Im crazy about this, I said. I just wish there were some way I 
could do this and have you in my mouth. Id like to feel you inside me,
shooting come thick and strong!

Theres a way you can have that feeling, she said, giving me a big
grin and patting me on the rump. Its every bit as good as a real fuck in
the cunt and you dont have to worry about getting pregnant or losing your
cherry or anything like that. You can let him fuck you in the ass!

Wow! What a crazy idea! It literally took my breath away, it was so far
out.

As soon as I heard it I knew I had to try it. But taking that cock of
his up my ass? Id never tried putting anything in my rear but I had an
idea that it was pretty tight. Amy could see that I was a little worried
and she told me that it was perfectly all right, that lots of women did it
that way all the time and that it would be great.

In fact, Ill show you that it can be done, she said, rolling over
onto her back and spreading her legs out wide. Would you be a dear, Terri,
and put his cock in my cunt? Well get him greased up good and then you can
guide him into my ass. Thatll be a groove. Youll dig it.

Of course I did just what she said. Man that was something else. Getting
hold of his rod and holding it so it went in between the lips of her pussy!
She let out a long, low sigh when he rammed it home, the sort of sound that
really lets you know shes enjoying it. And then he worked it back and
forth a little just to get it real juicy. When he pulled it out I just had
to reach in and taste it. Once Id seen her do it to him that way l was
wild to try it, and so l did.

They didnt mind. In fact, they sort of liked it, even if I did have to
put him back into her cunt after Id licked him clean. That was great,
going down on him while he was fresh from her cunt, hot and wet with that
juice she turned out! And the next time he pulled it out I was ready to
move it down. She swung her legs way up high till she  had her ankles on
his shoulder. That brought her butt right up level with his prick almost
and I just aimed that rod straight into her brownie. Her asshole didnt
look any looser than mine but I guess theyd used it enough to loosen it up
because he went into her just like a hot knife into butter! Once theyd
convinced me that they were serious about my getting flicked in the ass I
was really ready for it. Amy showed me how to do it, how to lie in the way
that would let him get in easiest and then she aimed it into him herself.
She greased him up with some kind of goo from a little tube in her bedside
table. She told me that I mustnt ever let a guy switch his cock from my
ass, or anyone elses, to my cunt because thats a good way to get an
itchy, drippy cunt. And then he just leaned on me. Man, I was sure hed
ruined me when I felt his cock stretch my asshole and then plow into me. It
felt as though hed just ripped me apart and I let out a howl that told
them plenty about how I was feeling.

Just relax, Amy told me. He hasnt hurt you in any way. The
discomfort will soon pass and youll be wanting him to drive that prick all
the way home!

Concentrate on relaxing your rear.

My God shes sight! he grunted. But shes taking it. She was born
for this kind of action!

I guess he was right  because it wasnt any time till Id
forgotten.all about the way my ass was hurting. All I could think of was
that. I was getting fucked. This wonderful man was giving me all of his
lovely, wonderful prick.

And I wanted every inch of it, all the way inside my body! I locked my
feet together, around his back, and then he started working it into my ass.
God, every stroke was like heaven to me! I could feel every bump, every
wrinkle on his prick and that big, flaring rim around the head drove me
nuts when he worked- it in and out. Of course I was coming like crazy. I
never couldnt have held it back if the whole world had been looking on! I
just laid there and took it, coming up a storm and my cunt pouring out the
come juice and then finally he drew back and really rammed the prick to me.

Agghh! Oohh! he groaned.

I knew he was coming, or getting ready to. His balls were hanging down
against my rump and Ill swear I felt them twitch and then start jumping
when the come started shooting out his dick. It was the most incredibly
exciting thing Id ever felt in all my life. And Amy? She was finger
fucking herself again! Yeah,  she just stretched out there beside me and
had herself a flicking ball! I was coming all over till I couldnt see
clearly. He was shooting come so far up my ass I thought it would come out
my mouth. And she was jamming her fingers deep into her cunt and making it
like a fox. Man, that was something to see, Ill bet! Everybody was making
it all at the same time and we were just going out of our heads.

By the time he pulled his cock out of me we were all pretty satisfied,
at least for the moment, and Amy suggested that we take him into the shower
and wash his cock off. What a way to take a bath, all, three of us in there
together!

She and I took turns lathering up that tool of his and you can be sure
it wasnt too long before the damned thing had risen up again. It was the
first time Id ever really felt a man get hard, or seen it happen, and I
just felt great that I could help turn a little, insignificant thing like
his soft prick into a flicking machine.

You think this is something? You ought to let him go down inside you,
Amy told me when I mentioned how groovy it was. And then feel him get hard
when hes in your cunt or your mouth!

OR in your ass? I asked.

Yea, in there, too, she said. All of those things are nice. We went
back into the bedroom after wed dried him off, but then we decided that
fucking could wait a little while. They wanted to have a bite of lunch and
when they mentioned food I found that I was hungry too. We had sandwiches
and they told me some stories about parties theyd been to, where groups of
people all got together and just fucked, sucked, or did anything they
wanted to, until none of them wanted it any more. Im not sure I could 
really go for that-though if someone had asked earlier Id have said that I
wouldnt do any of the things I had already done with that, pair! I dont
know what Id do if I were put into a group like the ones they talked
about-probably jump right in and fuck and suck and carry on like everyone
else, I guess. When I get that burning, itching feeling in my cunt, that
feeling that just screams out Fuck Me! to my whole body, I sort of lose
control of everything.

What would you like to do now? Amy asked me when wed finished our
sandwiches.

Anything in the sex line, just name it and its yours. You cant think
of a single style of balling that we dont adore!

It might sound a little childish, I said after Id thought about it
for a minute, but Id like to see you two have a plain, old-fashioned
fuck! You know, with his prick in your cunt and him on top of you, just
like most people do it. Ive never seen a couple going at it and Id like
to find out what it looks like.

You must be a mind reader, she told me.

You, know, we spend a lot of time doing really weird things with each
other, or with other people, and weve been doing them since we first met
each other.

But after eleven years of marriage and I dont know how much experience,
weve decided that for day in, day, out pleasure you just cant beat a
good, missionary style flicking session. All the other stuff is great but
we always go back to the old reliable!

I might not be able to come right away, Mr. Harvey told me, but I
know that we can sure show you what it looks like!

I wont have any trouble coming, Amy said as she led the way into the
bedroom. Just looking at Terris tits and remembering the way she howled
when you plowed that cock up her ass is enough to get me boiling hot!

She wasnt putting us on a bit when she said that. She hopped right
onto the bed and opened her legs and he was on her right away. His cock
wasnt really hard but she managed to get it shoved into place. She said
that there wasnt anything like a hot, juicy pussy to get a mans prick
stiffened up and I guess she was right because it wasnt any time until
-he was really pumping her.

They spent a long time showing me all the ways a man  and a woman can
ball with him on her. She showed me how you can move your legs up and down
to let him get deeper in you, or to keep him out, if you dont want him in
all the way. When she had her legs way up high, around his shoulders, I got
a real good look at the way his rod slipped in and out of her pussy. That
was a real blast, believe me! After a while, though, she started feeling
it and then she settled down to enjoy her fuck. She egged him on by talking
dirty, telling him just bow her cunt felt when he shoved the prick in deep,
and it started getting to me too. I was so turned on I just had to-join in
and so I lay back and started rubbing my ditty. I brought myself off while
they-finished it. He never did come, not while he was in her, though he 
made her come at least twice and I got one beautiful one myself.

I want to stick it up Terris ass again, he said after hed flicked
Amy into a limp state. I know I can pop my nuts if I can just get my prick
up her ass!

Do it to me! I said. Id love to feel you do it again!

This time we did it doggie style. You know, I got on my hands and knees
and he got behind me so he could stick it in from the rear. I was pretty
far down on the bed and I had a real good view of Amys cunt while he was
doing it to me.

She was giving herself a rub, though not enough to get anything really
serious going. He got into me real good and then he reached around with
both hands so he could handle my boobs and rub my clit while he was humping
his prick up my ass. Lord, I just had a ball kneeling there and feeling him
work! And when he came, that really did it for me. I let out a yell that
would have raised the dead and then I just dissolved into a big climax! It
was all over me and lasted forever, it seemed- like, until finally I just
fell forward and lay there.

After that none of us had any more sex left. I stayed a little longer
and then I got dressed and walked home. My ass was plenty sore for a couple
of days but who could mind a little thing like a sore rear? Man, theyd
convinced me! Id have done anything in the world to get asked back for
some more of that good stuff. I guess they liked it as much as I did. They
got in the habit of having me over regularly and I suppose we averaged
better than once a week. I mean, I was there at least once every week and
sometimes more if we could arrange it.

They wanted to bring in some more people, especially after I became
used to it, but I wouldnt play that game. I just wanted the two of them
and me, no more, and they accepted it. Amy and I would take turns with him,
each of us doing our thing until wed worn him down and he couldnt get
another stiff despite everything we could think of to bring him back up. My
favorite was always getting that big tool of his in my ass. I guess Im
hooked on that for life! Theres sure nothing like it that I know of,
though I still havent tried letting a guy into my cunt yet. Yes, Madge
still checks my pussy from time to time and Ive still got my cherry,
though sometimes I think Ill break it myself with a tampon just to be rid
of the damned thing. But then I ask myself: why go to that much trouble and
raise a lot of fuss in the family, when Im getting so much pleasure just
by letting him fuck me in the ass? I dont see that its worth all -the
trouble, to be honest about it!

It seems abundantly clear from her case history that Terris venture
into anal sexuality has been a rewarding one for her. Though she would not
put the feeling into words, it is plain that she derived additional
pleasure from copulating with Mr. Harvey in his wifes presence and in
cooperating with her in satisfying his throng sex urges. This pleasure, we
believe, is derived from a subconscious interest in homosexual relations.
While Terri would not admit the possibility, even to herself, her enjoyment
of having sex with the husband while the wife was present strongly hints at
latent homosexual capacities.

Terri was still engaged in this realistic love affair at the time she
dictated her case history. No evidence of mental or physical reactions to
that affair was noticed in her. We cannot help believing that this unusual
affair will, if persisted in, have a strong effect upon her later emotional
development; perhaps effects that will lead to serious emotional
difficulties in her later life. The nature of those problems, of course,
cannot be predicted, but it seems certain that she is taking a very great
risk in continuing this affair.


CONCLUSION

There are many avenues leading to anal sexuality as a culmination of the
human sex drive and the preceding pages have attempted to describe some of
them. The evidence presented in the case histories selected for this volume
should be enough to convince the reader of the truth of Dr. Frank Caprios
statement that there is no single theory that completely explains the
cause of this aberration. (Caprio, Variations in Sexual Behavior, p. 91.)
While each of the subjects investigated in this volume preferred the same
way of satisfying their sex drives, each had his or her own reason for the
choice and there seems to be no satisfactory explanation which would hold
for every case.

There can be little doubt that each of the subjects of these case
histories reached a real and satisfying level of emotional excitement
through anal sex.

Their experience was out the contention of one writer, who noted that
the anus is particularly significant in sexual responses because the anal
and genital, areas share some muscles in common, and the activity of either
area may bring the other area into action. Stimulation of the genitalia,
both in the female and the male may cause anal constrictions. Gynecologists
frequently observe that stimulation of the clitoris or of the areas about
the clitoris, and the urethralmeatus may cause contractions of the anus,
the hymeneal ring, and the vaginal and perineal muscles. As rhythmic
muscular movements develop during sexual responses, and particularly in the
spasms that follow orgasm, the anal sphincter may rhythmically open and
close. The incentives for anal insertions of various sorts and for anal
intercourse lie partly in the significance of these rhythmic responses of
the anal sphincters. (Kinsey, Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, pp.
585-586.) In many cases the reality of the pleasure received through
stimulation of the anus is too marked to be overlooked. Thus there are a
number of individuals who have chosen to capitalize upon the inherent
erotic potential of the anus and who sometimes prefer to concentrate all or
most of their attention to that part of the body.

This preference continues to be expressed notwithstanding the legal
restrictions against such acts. While statutes, especially those
implementing the morality of what is possibly a dying age, might be
criticized from a medical or psychological standpoint and shown to be
thoroughly indefensible on those grounds, they are still laws. The fact
that they remain in our legal codes, suggest that society in general still
looks down upon anal sexuality and is willing to mete out severe
punishments to those who choose to explore these unorthodox avenues of
sexual expression. We doubt that the evidence presented here will do much
to persuade the majority of people to reverse their stand on anal
sexuality, though the case in favor of that type of sexual expression seems
strong. No society changes its basic morality rapidly and, in every case
that we know anything about, a societys sexual ethos is strongly permeated
with moral assumptions which may or may not have a scientific basis.

Violation of moral -laws, many of which turn upon sexual acts, is widely
supposed to breed its own peculiar retribution. This is no new idea; many a
Greek dramatist built enduring literature out of just such a situation. One
might well ask: what are the consequences of anal sexuality? Our considered
conclusion, based upon the evidence presented here and available elsewhere,
is that anal sexual intercourse appears to be no more debilitating to
either partner than vaginal intercourse, provided it is used moderately and
sensibly.

If there is a danger in anal sexuality, it is mostly a psychological
one. That is to say, the individual who submits to anal intercourse may be
so overwhelmed with guilt that he will react strongly and develop
psychological damage. In many cases the individual who does something which
he or she knows is wrong will develop a kind of self-punishment to fit the
occasion. But, it would be rash indeed to say that the act of anal
intercourse, rather than the guilty conscience following the act, was
primarily responsible for the consequences.

Another conclusion which we must stress is drawn from the subjects
early sexual experiences. These experiences need not be overtly sexual; all
that is necessary is for the child to associate an experience with
sexuality. The case history of Judy, given in Chapter 3 provides us with a
perfect example of this truism. Many people would not link defecation with
sexuality, and indeed there is no necessary connection between the two
acts, but Judys mother helped the young girl make such an association. As
we saw in the girls case history, that association was to prove to be very
crucial when the girl later came around to expressing her inner sexual
desires. These associations need not be logical or apparent to the outside
observer. It is enough for them to be made and, then they continue to exert
a powerful shaping force upon the subject.

Perhaps we are not all prisoners of sex, as Norman Mailer has phrased
it, but it seems quite clear that his terminology would apply to some of
us. Certain of the cases noted here exemplify that phrase perfectly, so
much so that one often has the impression of human beings who are shaped 
and guided willy-nitty by uncontrollable inner drives of a surpassing power
and complexity. It is easy for a superficial, disinterested observer to
scoff at the people depicted here, to label them as weak degenerates, but
in most cases they appeared to have had little real choice about the way in
which their lives developed. If, as certain recent research would lead us
to suspect, we are all condemned to live out our lives within the
perimeters determined by a few molecules of DNA-perimeters which were
forced upon us before  we were conscious beings-then it would seem to be
useless to speak of punishment and reward where such vital choices are
concerned. Indeed, it is perhaps illogical even to speak of choices.

Our investigation of anal sexuality has not been undertaken with an eye
toward settling such weighty issues as free-will versus determinism? Our
principal concern has been, first, to describe certain cases as fully as
space permits and, second, to bring to bear as much current medical and
psychological knowledge as may help us to understand these cases. The
philosophically minded reader may wish to pursue the matter further and
draw his own conclusions.


BIBLIOGRAPHY

Caprio, Frank S. Variations in Sexual Behavior.

New York: Grove Press, 1955.

Ellis, Albert. The Art and Science of Love.

New York: Bantam Books, 1966.

Sex Without Guilt.

New York: Grove Press, 1965.

Ellis, Havelock. Studies in the Psychology of Sex, 2 vols.

New York: Random House, 1936.

J (anonymous). The Sensuous Woman.

New York: Dell Books, 1969.

Kinsey, Alfred C., et al. Sexual Behavior in the Human Female.

Philadelphia: W.B. Saunders Co., 1953.

Reik, Theodor. The Need to Be Loved.

New York: Farrar, Straus amp; Co., 1963.

Reuben, David. Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex But Were
Afraid to Ask.

New York: David McKay Co., 1969.

Rieff, Phillip, editor. Freud: Sexuality and the Psychology of Love.

New York: Collier Books, 1963.

Schoenfeld, Eugene, Dear Dr. Hip Pocrates.

New York: Grove Press, 1970.
